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“The Fall” recap (2.2): A Rose by any other name would be just as screwed

Previously on The Fall: DSI Stella Gibson continues to be gorgeous, and even more gorgeous when being serious in her full police uniform. Serial killer Paul continues to be creepy, and even more creepy while calmly chatting with the daughter of the woman he is about to kidnap. Dr. Reed Smith continues to look great in a motorcycle jacket, full stop.

Oh dear God, bare feet. Let me just tell you that bare feet on a crime series are never good. It’s never like, oooh, bare feet—POOL PARTY! It’s always like, oh, bare feet—prepare to be murdered in your pajamas.

Stella is walking around in her bare feet and silky night robe. I take a momentary break from my feeling of sheer terror to admire her, um, mountainous talents. Yes, that’s it. Her talents. But then it’s right back to terror because, holyfuckingshit, is that a shadowy male figure behind her?

She must sense it, too, because she draws her gun. She continues to walk through what looks like an office and then the mystery man is behind her saying her name. She turns and shoots, then takes off the man’s mask.

But he is not Paul Spector, he is James Olson—the cop Stella knocked boots with a while back who then got gunned down. He implores her for help, saying he doesn’t want to die. Well, no one does, buster—so maybe don’t sneak up on ladies in their nighties holding a gun, eh? This has been another life-prolonging lesson from yours truly.

Stella wakes with a start. It was all a nightmare, of course. Latent feelings of displaced guilt about Olson’s death were floating around in her head, no doubt. I should also note that she is in a camisole and lying on a cot. Someone has spent a night in the office. Still breathing heavy, she jots down some notes in her dream journal. That sounded a lot sexier than it was. Wait, scratch that, it’s Gillian Anderson in a camisole breathing heavy. It was still plenty sexy.

As if the creators of this show can hear our innermost wishes, next we see Stella in the shower. THE SHOWER. And then she is at the pool methodically swimming laps. Hey, remember when I said earlier that bare feet on a crime show almost never lead to a pool party? I take that back, sort of.

Interspersed with these sublime images of Stella working on her fitness are terrible ones of Paul being Paul. He has forced Rose—you remember Rose, the girl he dated ages ago and tried to choke out—to come with him. She leaves a shaky note for her slumbering family and her daughter sees him shove her into a car.

He drives her away calmly, and then equally calmly accuses her of being responsible for the police sketch made that looks like him. She deflects and is all, but that doesn’t even look like you and you definitely don’t look like someone who would brutally stalk and murder young women and then kidnap me. He tells her he isn’t the killer in the most unconvincing way possible. Geez, dude, why don’t you just wear a pin that says, “I murder women, ask me how!”

They pull up into a secluded woodsy area and poor Rose knows. Everybody knows. I know it’s terrible to blame the fictitious victim for not fighting hard enough against her equally fictitious attacker, but Rose really should have put up more of a fight before now. Because now it is definitely too late. Paul drags her into an abandoned looking house. Bye, Rose.

The next morning her oblivious husband finds her note, and her errant bite guard. When Rose misses her appointment with Stella, red flags go up immediately. She goes to interview the husband who confesses they had a fight the night before. But nothing to run off in the middle of the night about, right? Right. PC/LC (that’s short for Lesbian Cutie, duh) Dani Ferrington is also there to keep Rose’s daughter busy/smile sweetly. Gosh, they need to use her more on screen.

Paul, now apparently done with his Rose business, goes to attend to his Alice Monroe Memorial Fund business. Hey, did anyone else think the camera panning down as he drove off was about to show us a totally important clue? And then was anyone else totally disappointed that it ended up being a dumb leaf? Yeah, me too.

First he ditches Alice’s car in some secret garage. And then he uploads a video to his computer, which—I might add—has the creepiest, chokiest background wallpaper image I’ve ever seen. Afterward he hides the memory card in the light switch plate in the wall.

Later, back in bereavement counselor mode, we see Paul framed by the silhouette of the woman he killed. It is accompanied by the incredibly ironic slogan, “Working Against Violence Toward Women.” It’s all almost too much to take. Like, seriously, the fucking balls on this guy. Return to Ireland? OK. Go work for the organization created in the memory of the woman you murdered? Too much, dude, too much.

As if to remind us in case somehow we’ve forgotten, Paul leers at the receptionist’s stocking-covered legs to drive home the point that he is a Very Bad Man.

Stella continues to interview Rose’s husband. He remains blissfully oblivious, only once asking if he should be concerned. Hey, buddy, here’s a tip: If the police are asking about a loved one you can’t get a hold of, be concerned.

Their interview is interrupted by an officer saying ACC Burns is there to talk with her. His driver opens the door so they can have a backseat chat. Is this a normal thing, assistant chief constables getting driven around in posh cars by chauffeurs in suits?

ACC Burns thinks Stella is leaping to conclusions. But she thinks they both fucked up in releasing information about Rose’s sketch being 9 years old. Stella wants to treat the house as a crime scene immediately, but Burns gives the case to another detective because he sucks in every way possible. Stella calls his decision “ridiculous.” Lady knows how to drop a truth bomb.

Luckily, PC Ferrington is actually trying to help the investigation instead of hinder it. She walks over to the car after learning the “Peter Piper” tongue twister from Rose’s daughter, and learning a man named “Peter” was there last night. Stella’s jaw literally drops for a second.

Speaking of jaw dropping, Paul follows through with his incredibly ballsy, incredibly stupid, incredibly twisted decision to help counsel the exact same woman he tried to kill. He shows up at the hospital and the CL (clearly lesbian) cop who is guarding her door gives him the once over.

He tells Annie Brawley’s mother and clearly lesbian cop a female therapist would have been better, but also “honestly there is no one better qualified than me.” In a way he isn’t lying, because he does know exactly what the victim has been through. He also hedges his bets by saying she might have “an emotional reaction” to his presence.

He knocks on her door, introduces himself, and asks her if he can come in. She replies, with a small smile and an, “of course.” The chill that went down my spine nearly shook me out of my seat.

Paul chats with Annie about her guilt. She feels ashamed for signing up for an adult website and creating a profile. She tells Paul about the photos and video she uploaded. Shit, he’s going to search for those later, isn’t he? Poor girl—she is victim blaming herself. And in yet another bit of startling truth, Paul tells her nothing she did or could ever do made her responsible for the events of that night. He says it is, “Down to him, and him alone.” However he fails to add that he is also the “him” in question.

I’m starting to wonder if this whole charade is about Paul being an insane ego monster or Paul being an insane compartmentalizer. It’s probably a combination of the two, but it’s so surreal. But as their conversation continues my feelings tip more in the ego monster direction as he advises Annie to not live too much in the past and try to dig up memories. Hmmm, why would it be he doesn’t want her to remember things from the past? Any guesses? No one? Heck, I’m stumped, too.

Other than Paul being the least appropriate bereavement counselor in the world, their scene gives us one more useful bit of information. Annie considered Stella a friend. She is the one who gave her the hair tie trick after all.

Speaking of Stella and friends, she goes to see Dr. Reed Smith. The doctor is casually carving up what looks like a heart. Metaphors, people, metaphors. They talk about Rose, and Reed Smith confesses her guilt about having possibly led the killer to her. It’s strange that Stella doesn’t chime in, even though she obviously feels it, too.

Back in fantasyland, babysitter Katie has “taken” Paul’s daughter Olivia. Like any good kidnapping, it involves candy. Though really the whole possible abduction thing is a little fuzzy and just includes her asking Olivia about the necklace/murder souvenir her daddy gave her. She takes her to the botanical greenhouse and there, quite casually, runs into Paul. Was that planned? Shouldn’t she have been more shocked to see him?

He gives her his hotel key and tells her to meet him there because it’s always easier when the murder victims come to you. This whole babysitter side plot is strange and unsettling, much like the entire series.

Like, what is Katie’s endgame? Does she want to expose Paul? Does she want a relationship with Paul? Does she just think Paul’s dreamy despite being a serial killer? I will say the one smart thing she has done is make a copy of his hotel room key.

It’s telling about this show that the most comforting conversation this entire episode was done over the naked body of a brutally stabbed cadaver. Stella and Reed Smith (I feel weird calling Archie Panjabi‘s character by her first name, Tanya, because has anyone used her first name even once? No seriously, I am asking.) are discussing the murder weapons and incision tracks.

Reed Smith confirms that the kitchen shears could have indeed made the stab wounds. I’m pretty sure in that moment Stella could have kissed her. But, maybe let’s save that for next episode, eh? Yes, yes, I’ve seen that promo pic.

Later Paul returns Olivia to her mother, and they go back-and-forth again about the alleged affair/sexual assault. She makes it clear he is still not welcome, and she has been YouTube stalking Katie and her bad songs about Paul. She also tells him she doesn’t want to have their baby, and Paul makes some lame excuse about his mom being Catholic. So abortion, no? Killing young women, yes? Just trying to understand his moral compass. Actually, I forgot Sally-Ann was pregnant in the first place. But it’s her body, her choice all the way. Also, kudos to Sally-Ann for not buying into Paul’s “I had food poisoning that’s why I was distant” crap.

After pumping his daughter for intel about Katie, Paul finally leaves saying he has “things to do.” I’m suddenly very worried about Katie’s lifespan. I’m also worried about her songwriting, but the other thing seems more pressing.

In an effort to prove that teenagers are, indeed, the worst decision makers ever, Katie has actually gone to Paul’s hotel room. The manager follows her up, and then reverse peeps through the peep hole at her in the room. Sure, thanks, like this show wasn’t creepy enough already. Please, go ahead, add on the layers of skeez.

Katie rifles through Paul’s things. A copy of The Divine Comedy. Some Sarte. Oh, great, he is one of those “deep” serial killers. There’s nothing worse than a violent, murderous misogynist who has taken Philosophy 101.

When Paul returns to his room he finds Katie reading Dante out loud in Italian. Just another example of the superiority of the U.K. education system folks. Paul gets on top of her, wordlessly, and grabs her throat. She eggs him on to kill her. Sort of. Fucking teenagers, seriously.

I honestly don’t understand what Katie thought this meeting would be? Warm snuggles? Youtube sing-alongs? Regardless, what results is an extremely unsettling scene where it seems like Paul is actually going to have sex with/rape her. After the requisite choking he ties her to the bed and disrobes.

Though, with the last miniscule shred of humanity he has left, he re-robes and tells Katie to try and work herself loose from the bonds with a Camus quote. Ugh, see, I told you pretentious philosophy majors were the worst. He leaves her there, off to do more bad things to women.

Stella is driving when she gets a call form the lab. They’ve lifted a partial print from the scissors. And they ran it through the system and found a match. She pulls over because news this big demands it. Then they tell her the name: Paul Spector.

Bloody hell, they’ve got him. They’ve fucking got him. But, also, they don’t. Because this is only the second episode of the season. So now the rest of the season will be, what? Him giving them the slip? Them trying to build a case? All I know is somebody better figure out very, very quickly that he has been hired as Annie’s bereavement counselor and find someone else for the job.

Back at the office, Stella pulls up everything they have on Paul—which is a lot. Remember he came in voluntarily to speak with police. They have his statement, his fingerprints, his DNA, his photo. Stella also recognizes him as a man who walked toward her in the station one day. Hey, how about we look at that suspect sketch again, eh? Notice any similarities? Anyone?

Paul has arrived at the abandoned house, but he finds two unknown cars parked there. He’s about to dispatch them with a tire iron when he realizes it’s two people having a tryst. So he leaves them be because even serial killers can’t resist young, impetuous love—or something.

Stella is reviewing the department’s interview with Paul and finds it sorely lacking. ACC Burns asks why he came in voluntarily if he was the killer. Stella answers incredulously, “For the thrill. To parade himself under our noses. To make us look stupid. To demonstrate his superiority and utter contempt for us.” Well, she’s not wrong.

The officer who checked his alibis didn’t do it face-to-face. And he says, “He seemed like a good guy. Bright, likeable, helpful…. He didn’t seem as though he had anything to hide.”

Then Stella walks over to the desk and slams her head into it repeatedly—but internally. She is in the midst of rightfully dressing down the officer for his lackadaisical interrogation when ACC Burns interrupts her and asks for a word in private. In case you were wondering, yes, apparently his job is to do everything in his power to keep them from catching the killer.

After Burns finishes admonishing her for doing her job well, Stella gets word that someone has tried to reach her on her old private line—and from Rose’s phone. They spring off into action because someone in the department has to actually want to solve these crimes.

Katie, the girl who played with fire, has broken free from her bonds and is now at a rock concert because puberty is like that. She excitedly tells her friend, “It was amazing,” when referring to her near death and sexual assault. I contend we should put all teenagers in a catatonic sleep from age 13 to age 19. They’re only to be awoken when they can think rationally enough to not antagonize serial killers.

Stella is pacing the floor waiting for the phone to ring. I hate to be so literal, but that’s what’s actually happening. And then it does, ring that is. It’s Paul, naturally, who is up for another chat. I mean, what else is a serial killer to do when he’s looking up at a beautiful night sky and contemplating his place in the universe?

Stella appeals to his self-professed protectiveness toward children, mentioning Rose’s two. But Paul is too busy thinking big picture. He tells her he doesn’t know what’s going to happen, but that “No one can outwit death.” Then he chucks the phone off the hill and drives off. Oh, wait, what’s that sound? Just Rose screaming in the trunk.

More by Ms. Snarker: @dorothysnarker or dorothysurrenders.com.

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