Being a — forgive me — rather gifted Lesbian Scientician, I expected to fare much better with the gambling on my recent trip to Las Vegas. When I told my very straight best friend about my shocking disappointment, she scoffed and told me she didn’t even understand what Lesbian Scientistics was. I explained that it is the meeting of Science and Statistics as viewed through the lens of Queerology, obviously.
When she seemed skeptical, I said, “Well at least my gaydar still works.”
This, too, is something my best friend is skeptical about. She feels like she can discern someone’s sexuality as quickly and effectively as her gay friends can do it. So, we put it to the test with a random control group: cartoon characters. I chose the top five lesbian cartoon characters based on my skills as a lesbian, and she chose the top five lesbian cartoon characters based on her skills as a straight person.
Here are our results:
Now, it’s up to you to make the final decision: Which cartoon characters are the biggest lesbians? It doesn’t have to be the ones listed here. I’m sure we’ve forgotten some. Please help restore some of my dignity after my terrible show at Vegas Blackjack.