Back off terrorists — this time its personal! As you may know, Elisha Cuthbert will be reprising the role of Kim Bauer, the frequently imperiled daughter of Jack, on the upcoming seventh season of 24. And [minor spoilers — watch out] she will apparently have a baby with her this time around. Just think of the grandkid-snatching potential! All the offensive excuses for Kim to behave inexplicably incompetently; the election-year-friendly focus on the (straight, white, very patriotic) family.
This earthshaking news has divided 24 fans, the line forming between those who found Cuthbert’s character an insufferable brat and those who think she is smokin’ hot. (In the interest of full disclosure, I am not a hardcore 24 junkie, and I’m not ragging on the girl, but she doesn’t really do anything for me. Thus, I have little stake in the debate beyond where to best view the scuffle while eating my popcorn.)
I am invested in the reason, though, for Cuthbert’s return. I think we all know what that is:
Didn’t turn into her big motion picture breakout, eh? I’d expect more people remember the controversy over the non-MPAA approved misogyny-stoking posters than the film itself, or even the fact that Cuthbert was in it. Pick your torture porn better next time, sweetie! For all the flack Lindsay Lohan took, at least I Know Who Killed Me has clear cult potential. As box office failures go, Captivity was no Hostel: Part II (which I will eagerly defend to you if ever the opportunity should arise).
But I digress — what will Kim do on this day of days? Supposedly she will not appear in the two hour prequel movie set in a fictional country in Africa called Sangala (sure to become the most well-known African nation to most people in the United States,) which follows Jack’s attempts to handle an international crisis during the inauguration of the USA’s first female president. The circumstances of Cuthbert’s arrival with child in a late season story arc remain shrouded in mystery.
