“Army Wives” mini-cap: Guilty parties

A former boss of mine, Celia, could’ve written this week’s Army Wives. Celia was all about guilt. Everything she did, she did out of guilt. Those of us who worked for her were left trying to figure out what was going on. Sort of like we had to do with this episode, “Casting Out the Net.”

Fortunately, none of the guilt was related to last week’s lesbian storyline. In fact, no one even mentioned that situation — strange, since Roland had been fired as a result. I guess we can assume he accepted his job back and will pretend nothing ever happened. Which is pretty much how the military approaches lesbian soldiers in their ranks: If no one mentions them, they don’t exist. However, the other characters had plenty of guilt to go around.

Guilty of adultery, maybe

Is kissing a person other than your spouse adultery? Denise obviously thinks so. She has been off work since last week’s episode (however long that is), sick with guilt over the passionate kiss she and Getti shared.

The person we wish she’d kiss, Claudia Joy, shows up with soup, crackers and gossip rags, although her presence alone would make anyone feel better. Denise comes clean about the smooch. C.J. seems to think it’s not a huge deal — meaning, of course, that when she finally does kiss Denise, she will be guilt-free — as long as it goes no further. C.J. is so kind and understanding that Denise seems to have completely forgotten Getti for the moment.

Denise returns to work, avoiding Getti until he tells her that he’s leaving in a week to find another job. He is smitten (duh) and doesn’t want to cause problems in her marriage. Just as she’s about to go meet Getti for a goodbye pancake, Frank calls to say he’s coming home to “get things back on course.” I don’t much like Frank, but his timing is incredible. Denise texts Getti to say she’s not coming to the diner and he hops on his bike to ride into the sunset. Instead, he apparently rides into a semi. The EMTs bring him into the ER just as Denise is leaving for home. She sees that it’s Getti and starts crying. I’m sure she will blame herself. (Guilt is like that.)

Guilty of whining, sometimes

Trevor is pushing himself to try to make his shoulder heal more quickly so he can return to Iraq. He’s also popping pills — a lot of them, in fact. He never seems to get stoned, so I’m not sure why he bothers. In any case, he feels guilty that Roxy is working so hard and plans a five-star spa night for him. Only he doesn’t know what a five-star spa is. The “wives” (C.J., Roland and Pamela) come to the rescue, helping him get everything ready.

Roxy, however, is at her first G.E.D. class and decides to go out for a drink with her classmates. When she gets home, Trevor has fallen asleep. She feels guilty, so they have sex. Hey, some people go to therapy, some go to confession, some have sex. I know what I’d choose.

Guilty of possession, or not

An on-base drug bust results in the arrest of several soldiers, including Denise’s son, Jeremy. (Remember when Jeremy beat up on his mom in Season One? I know that the Army can turn people around, but this is yet another major storyline that seems never to have happened.) Jeremy claims innocence and Denise sort of believes him. She talks to his JAG attorney (see what they did there?) and feels like all is well. As it turns out, she’s right — the charges are dropped. If you have the idea that this storyline seemed to be tossed in for no reason, you’re right. But isn’t it a great excuse to post a picture of Catherine Bell in her JAG uniform?

Guilty of something, we just don’t know what yet

Emmalin has a boyfriend who seems too good to be true (and we all know what that means). Quinn is a senior from an off-base school who is handsome and charming and wins over C.J. and Michael. Although Em thinks she sees him flirting with another girl, Quinn tells her it was just a friend and that he’s not interested in anyone but Emmalin. My suspicion is that he’s somehow connected with the drug ring story that otherwise had little reason to be in the episode. Careful, Em — you know what they say about a sweet-talkin’ guy.

Guilty of being too interesting, at least to one reporter

A base newspaper reporter, Brenda Foyle (Tawny Cypress of Heroes), interviews Pamela for a story that somehow makes the front page on the day after the drug bust. The kids are so proud of Mom that they ask her to come to school for career day instead of Chase. Pamela feels guilty and arranges for career day to be held at the radio station so the class can interview Chase on air. Sound cheesy? It was.

However, the previews for next week suggest that we haven’t seen the last of Brenda, the beautiful newspaper reporter. I don’t want to give away too much, but it looks like next week’s episode may earn a mention in Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever.

What did you think of this week’s episode? Will Denise tell Frank about Getti? Is Quinn all he appears to be? Is Brenda interested in more than an interview from Pamela? Will C.J. and Denise watch and learn?

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