“Top Chef” Recaps: Episode 4.13 “Puerto Rico”

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Quickfire: You

want fries with that?

Elimination: What a pig.

Padmaism: “What exactly is a

mojo?”

I like the city of San Juan — It’s been

six months since we’ve last seen our cheftestants. Well, that’s not true. It’s

been a week since we’ve last seen our cheftestants, but it’s been six months

since they’ve last seen each other. Their reunion comes in the San

Juan airport in Puerto Rico.

We first see Stephanie. She has spent the time traveling

though Thailand, Vietnam and Cambodia. She says she has been “enjoying

life a little bit.” Does that mean she’s been enjoying Tahoe boys? Sigh. I

guess the honorary part of her chefbian status really is honorary.

Next comes Antonia. Stephanie hugs her like old friends. She

says she has spent the time off opening her restaurant (that would be Foxtail

in Los Angeles,

in case anyone gets the sudden urge to nosh). She has been cooking 100 hours a

week and her daughter is getting used to mommy not being home six or seven

nights a week. Guess that means if she wins Top

Chef
and gets the $100,000, it’s all going to the babysitter.

Then Richard and his faux-hawk return to “get the game

started.” He’s in no mood to enjoy the tropical locale. He says there’s a time

to play and time to work. This is not playtime.

Richard: It’s

really good to see Stephanie and Antonia. The three of us have been the chefs

from the beginning that most people said these are going to be in the finals.

So I don’t think too many people expect Lisa to be here, for sure.

Well, that was blunt. True, but blunt.

Last chefbian standing Lisa arrives last and makes a grand

entrance with her brand new totally lesbian haircut.

The other chefs take note. Is that a spark of jealousy I see

in Richard’s eyes? Is he thinking, “Damn, now I don’t have the gayest

haircut anymore?”

As their car (shockingly not a Toyota Highlander) takes them

to their destination, the chefs soak in the sunny sights of beautiful Puerto Rico. But there’s no time for real sightseeing,

because waiting for them is Padma and a guy who looks like the illegitimate

love child of head judge Tom Colicchio and the Addams Family‘s Uncle

Fester
.

But he is neither mysterious nor spooky. Instead, he is

celebrated Puerto Rican chef Wilo Benet, chef and owner of Pikayo restaurant in

San Juan and the

episode’s guest judge.

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