Worth the wait — The day to shoot the Jackie Warner workout DVD is
approaching faster than a speedboat full of Lindsay-Sam
paparazzi gunning towards P. Diddy’s yacht, but the Jackster still hasn’t given
any thought to the concept, the exercises or any of the other pesky details
involved in producing a fitness DVD with her name on it. Who’s up for buying 40
minutes of Jackie winging it while calling everyone “honey”?
Seasoned fitness video producer/director
Andrea Ambandos arrives at
Sky Sport & Spa with her video choreographer, Keli, for their
pre-production meeting with Jackie. Too bad their star isn’t there.
While they wait for
Jackie — who’s late, as usual — Andrea tells Keli what’s in store. Or rather,
what’s not in store.
Andrea: She does not have a clue as to how
much work is involved. I think she thinks this is something she can do in her
sleep. Last night, she called me and she kinda like didn’t have anything to
show us today. And my biggest concern is that she’s not ready, and she’s going
to have excuses.
Keli: Yeah, well, people always do.
Jackie didn’t have time
to organize her thoughts about the DVD because she was too busy walking on eggshells
and trying to win a crumb of approval from her socially awkward, fundamentalist
mother. And if that doesn’t take someone’s head out of the game, I don’t know
An hour and a half goes
by, and Jackie is still nowhere to be found. Andrea gets on her cell and calls someone
to complain about not being treated like a priority. Who is Andrea talking to? It
could be the show’s producer; it could be her therapist. We will never know.
Just as Andrea and Keli
are about to give up and go find Jillian
Michaels, Her Majesty comes swaggering in and tosses off a half-ass
Why is it cool to be
late? Does it make someone feel important to keep others waiting? Is someone truly
better than the rest because they cultivate the perception of being oh-so-busy?
Granted, I don’t like being the first guest at a party, but mostly because the
first-to-arrives always get suckered into chopping celery for a veggie platter
or going out for ice. But being late to a business meeting is just
unprofessional. Perhaps Jackie had a fashion dilemma — gray T-shirt or white
Jackie shrugs and says indifferently
she was only 20 minutes late, even though Andrea says it was more like 90
minutes. Let’s split the difference and call it rude.
Pre-pro — Once they get down to the business of production, Andrea
explains that Keli is experienced with fitness videos and Jackie should use her
as much or as little as she wants. Andrea recommends using Keli a lot. Jackie
hates being told what to do, so that’s never going to happen. Instead, Jackie explains
her vision — ya know, the one she thought up while she was parking her car.
Jackie: I was thinking good things come
in threes. So, I break it up in increments of threes. So what I’ll do is one minute,
plié squats; one minute,
backward lunge. So we keep it flowing.