“Work Out” Recaps: Episode 3.5 “No Pain, No Gain”

Life goes on — Sky Sport owner, professional fitness trainer to Hollywood’s finest, and
star of Bravo’s hit series Work Out, Jackie Warner made an executive
decision last week. After protracted and thoughtful deliberation, she fired
Brian Peeler. Heavy is the head that wears the crown.

Jackie: I really don’t care where Brian
ends up. The pain in the ass that he just is — that is Brian Peeler on an
ongoing basis — is not worth having. I think I handled it completely
professionally. I feel that I did the right thing.

What was the completely
professional part of "Get the f—
out
" again? I forget.

Brian’s departure has
left his SkyLab client, Shannon, without a trainer, so Jackie assures her that
several Sky Sport trainers have volunteered to make her throw up. No matter
what happens, someone will be there to hold her hair back.

Shannon, who cares
nothing about internal malarkey — "interlarkey" if you will — just
wants to know where she stands now.

Shannon: Just so you know, from a client
standpoint, I felt that he was giving me a hundred percent.
Jackie: Yeah, yeah.
Shannon: And I was seeing results.
Jackie: Yeah, sure. It’s not his
training skills. That’s not the issue.
Shannon: Brian called me and he told me,
"I can’t come back into Sky Sport anymore, but I can still train you
outside." And I said, "Outside where?" "Outside in the
park," he said.

Well, he did say
"outside." I like to jump in front of the old people doing tai chi in
the park and start barking orders at them to go faster.

Jack Daddy assures Shannon that as the boss, she had "darn good
reason" for banning Brian from the building and trots off to start the
day.

Go pound sand — Jackie gathers all the SkyLabbers into one
shivering mass on a cold beach under an overcast sky. Using the sand for added
resistance, she yells, "Run!" and everyone takes off until their
calves are screaming for mercy. Everyone except Deenie, that is, who gingerly
walks around, claiming she’s trying. Trying to stay near the cameras, perhaps.

Deenie’s bruised ankle prevents
her from being able to hop, skip and jump, but it’s her crappy attitude that’s
making Jackie nuts. "Her injury is her excuse for everything," Jackie
claims. Yeah, what’s your excuse?

After putting the class
through their paces — push-ups, jumping jacks, hula-hoop stepping — every
single client is in cardio distress. Jackie makes the professional assessment,
"Damn, they can’t do s—." Good thing she went to school to learn
this stuff.

Next, everyone gets into
a wet suit, which I can tell you firsthand is a major workout in itself. Deenie
jokes that she feels like Catwoman.

Mmm, yeah. No. I didn’t
feel like Catwoman in a wet suit. I felt like a little sausage in a casing made
by Michelin. Totally hawt.

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