Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me a dozen times, shame on you, again — especially if you’re a production company that has sucked me in time after time with the promise of a great, comic-based female action hero movie or TV series. Case in point: Elektra.
Jennifer Garner as Elektra, for all her tight, skimpy outfits, awesome abs and ass-kicking goodness, was not the Elektra of comic books. She was more like Elektra on Xanax. Sure, I watch the movie every time it’s on, but I’m superficial that way.
Catwoman was even worse — so bad that I haven’t watched it more than once, despite the presence of Halle Berry in this outfit.
But now comes an announcement that I want to be excited about: a live-action version of Witchblade is coming to the big screen. Do I dare to hope again?
Witchblade is a familiar story: In each generation, a female is chosen to receive special powers to slay, er, fight evil. In this case, the power comes via the Witchblade, a conscious weapon that looks like a jeweled gauntlet when not in use. If the right person wields it, the Witchblade heightens the wearer’s senses and transforms into whatever it needs to be to protect her. If the wrong person tries to wield it, she loses her arm — harsh.
The current Witchy woman is Sara Pezzini, a NYPD homicide detective. Even if you’re not a comic fan, you probably remember Witchblade from the TNT series starring Yancy Butler as Sara. (This shot is the cover of the series DVD, coming July 29.)
Opinions about the series were mixed among Witchblade comic fans. I liked it personally, but I didn’t read the comic book until I watched the show, so I’m not speaking as a true ‘blade geek. In any case, the show got decent ratings but was canceled after two seasons, probably due to Butler’s too frequent (and not too effective) visits to rehab.
We don’t know much about the upcoming movie yet, except that it starts shooting this fall in Australia. Top Cow, publisher of the comic, is involved in production, so I assume the story will mirror the comic book. I am of two minds about that possibility: A devil on one shoulder reminds me that in the comic, when the Witchblade activates, it shreds Sara’s clothes in the process, leaving a lot less than the full-body armor depicted in the television version. How can I not want to see a movie featuring a scantily clad, butt-kicking female?
In my other ear, an angel whispers about the comic book’s rich mythology. Past wielders of the Witchblade include Joan of Arc, Cleopatra, Boudica, Elizabeth Brontë and Marie Curie. Imagine a film that introduces the mythology and segues into a new TV series, Tales of the Witchblade, with a different beautiful and fascinating heroine every week. Call me, Top Cow; we’ll talk.
Until the producers tell us more, we are left with the difficult task of speculating on who should play Sara. We already know finalgirl’s pick.
But in case Rachel McAdams has other plans, we have to be ready.
Megan Fox would certainly be worthy of Witchblade transformation.
And we know that Sarah Shahi has special powers — and looks very nice with very little clothing (you’re an idiot, Shane). She also knows how to play a cop.
However, one name came to mind and just won’t leave — not that I want it to. Our own “Ladycop,” Christina Cox: hot, buff and tough. You can see it, too, can’t you?
No, then who? Who is your chosen bearer of the Witchblade? And am I a fool to hope that, at last, a good female action hero movie is on the horizon?