THIS WEEK’S KITCHEN ESSENTIALS:
Quickfire: Chug! Chug! Chug!
Elimination: Lions and tigers and Bears, oh my.
Padmaism: Well, I’m very impressed because we’ve gone through a lot of
The morning after — Before we start this week’s
recap, I’d like to pour a little out for our homogirl, Zoi. We miss our dearly
departed chefbian. Peace out.
As the 11 remaining chefs rise and shine, Spike is wearing a
pillow in lieu of one of his idiotic hats. I like it better since it covers his
face. Oh, wait, I spoke too soon.
Spike: I’m feeling a little like s— because as the
show goes on a lot of gossip starts to happen. And, you know, I heard through
the grapevine that a lot of people thought I should have went home. But I think
that’s just a lot because people are feeling a little threatened because I’m
like a talented dude.
No, dude, it’s not because they are threatened. It’s because
you are an asshat.
Jennifer, in the meantime, has little to say to Spike as he
passes her in the kitchen. But to the cameras, she pours her heart out.
Jennifer: I love Zoi. She is the love of my life. I
really wanted to see it go longer … all I want to do now is win. I want to win
for both of us.
Determination: Let me show you its face.
The rest of the house registers the tensions. Ryan, in
between some fairly stiff-looking stretching, says Zoi’s departure "stirred"
the pot. But he thinks he’ll have an advantage if people are "stewing"
about it. Personal drama told through cooking analogies? Hey, isn’t that my job?
The hardest word to say — Chefbian Lisa has her own
wounds to lick. She’s happy she won, but the confrontation with Dale soured the
night. They meet to talk about the blowout. Dale says he perceives her as
negative. She says she can’t change how he perceives her. Dale apologizes for
the fight, but not for way her personality rubs him the wrong way.
Ah, the classic "I’m sorry you made me mad"
Lisa: I have a big problem with the fact that he is turning
it into, "Well I’m sorry for going off on you," but then he still has
to plug that he has an issue with me. I keep my mouth shut, I let Dale do his
apologizing, but Dale can go f— himself as far as I’m concerned.
I think the first three minutes of this episode have had
more drama than the first five hours of the season so far.
The breakfast of champions — The cheftestants walk
into the Top Chef Kitchen, and what
is there to greet them? Beer! Glorious, frothy, glistening beer. Man, I’m
thirsty. Hold on — fridge run!
Ah, that’s much better.