Previously on — They say winners never quit and quitters never win.
Well, they never met these girls. When we last saw them, Zoe had quit her
high-powered job after she smacked her noggin on the glass ceiling. Juliet quit
holding out hope for an amicable divorce. Mia quit holding onto the idea that
Jack someday would accept her awesomeness for what it is. And then there’s
Alicia took one look at
Caitlin’s enormous, hopeful brown eyes and thought to herself, “I wish I
could quit you.” And her wish came true: She dumped Caitlin to run back to
her nutty ex so they could have their stupid baby together.
Alicia didn’t deserve
Caitlin or any of the toys Caitlin bought for her spawn. It may not feel like
it right now, but Caitlin, honey, you dodged a bullet.
Personal best — It’s a crisp, autumnal day in New York City. The sweet aroma of
honey-roasted peanuts mingles with the scent of burning chestnuts and the
bready goodness of giant, warm pretzels, wafting from the food carts on every
other corner. Or so I remember.
In reality, wind whips through
the canyons of Wall Street and Midtown, sandblasting your face with street dirt.
People sneeze their cold germs in your face on the subway, and when you walk
into a store or restaurant, your hair is subjected to a downward blast of hot
air from the establishment’s heater, which feels exactly like going through the
last phase of a car wash. On the upside, the smell of urine is way down from
the all-time highs of summer.
Mia and Jason are out for
a run. Mia is sporting her Chinese poodle running jacket from Title
Making everything into a
competition is second nature to our magazine mogul, but Jason has legs twice
and long and a more aerodynamic hat, thank you very much. He passes her up,
even though it nearly kills him to do so. Mia jokes that if only she had more
than five hours’ sleep, then they’d see who the real champ is. I’d rather watch
Chris Cahill run up a sand
dune, to be honest.
Mia tries to make a date for
breakfast, but Jason has no time when brains are waiting to be diagnosed as
normal or abby
normal. He suggests that Mia come for lunch at the hospital cafeteria. Partitioned
trays, plastic sporks and stale
Jell-O — always a good time. Too bad it’s too cold for Mia to wear a skort. With a tankini.
She passes on his tempting offer, and they agree on a time they’re both free: o’dark
Free time — Meanwhile, Zoe is at home getting used to being
unemployed. Still in her jammies, she’s thinking she needs to get the kiddies
ready for school and make lunches, but that’s what their manny, Adam, is for. Eric
has his job as an architect so they can keep paying for the help they no longer
need, so he’s out the door. Zoe stares at herself in the mirror, wondering who
got her office.
Consultant is just another word for unemployed — Later, after she’s
leisurely read the New York Times
front to back, watched the Today Show, done some yoga, and Googled herself for
the hell of it, Zoe finally leaves the house to walk with Juliet and give
financial insights on Juliet’s current sitch: A corporate raider billionaire
named Len Dinerstein has purchased a suspiciously large chunk of stock in
Juliet’s hotel company, and what does it all mean?