“Cashmere Mafia” Recaps: Episode 1.7 “Dog Eat Dog”

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Previously on — They say winners never quit and quitters never win.

Well, they never met these girls. When we last saw them, Zoe had quit her

high-powered job after she smacked her noggin on the glass ceiling. Juliet quit

holding out hope for an amicable divorce. Mia quit holding onto the idea that

Jack someday would accept her awesomeness for what it is. And then there’s

Caitlin.

Alicia took one look at

Caitlin’s enormous, hopeful brown eyes and thought to herself, “I wish I

could quit you.” And her wish came true: She dumped Caitlin to run back to

her nutty ex so they could have their stupid baby together.

Alicia didn’t deserve

Caitlin or any of the toys Caitlin bought for her spawn. It may not feel like

it right now, but Caitlin, honey, you dodged a bullet.

Personal best — It’s a crisp, autumnal day in New York City. The sweet aroma of

honey-roasted peanuts mingles with the scent of burning chestnuts and the

bready goodness of giant, warm pretzels, wafting from the food carts on every

other corner. Or so I remember.

In reality, wind whips through

the canyons of Wall Street and Midtown, sandblasting your face with street dirt.

People sneeze their cold germs in your face on the subway, and when you walk

into a store or restaurant, your hair is subjected to a downward blast of hot

air from the establishment’s heater, which feels exactly like going through the

last phase of a car wash. On the upside, the smell of urine is way down from

the all-time highs of summer.

Mia and Jason are out for

a run. Mia is sporting her Chinese poodle running jacket from Title

Nine
.

Making everything into a

competition is second nature to our magazine mogul, but Jason has legs twice

and long and a more aerodynamic hat, thank you very much. He passes her up,

even though it nearly kills him to do so. Mia jokes that if only she had more

than five hours’ sleep, then they’d see who the real champ is. I’d rather watch

Chris Cahill run up a sand

dune, to be honest.

Mia tries to make a date for

breakfast, but Jason has no time when brains are waiting to be diagnosed as

normal or abby

normal
. He suggests that Mia come for lunch at the hospital cafeteria. Partitioned

trays, plastic sporks and stale

Jell-O — always a good time. Too bad it’s too cold for Mia to wear a skort. With a tankini.

She passes on his tempting offer, and they agree on a time they’re both free: o’dark

thirty.

Free time — Meanwhile, Zoe is at home getting used to being

unemployed. Still in her jammies, she’s thinking she needs to get the kiddies

ready for school and make lunches, but that’s what their manny, Adam, is for. Eric

has his job as an architect so they can keep paying for the help they no longer

need, so he’s out the door. Zoe stares at herself in the mirror, wondering who

got her office.

Consultant is just another word for unemployed — Later, after she’s

leisurely read the New York Times

front to back, watched the Today Show, done some yoga, and Googled herself for

the hell of it, Zoe finally leaves the house to walk with Juliet and give

financial insights on Juliet’s current sitch: A corporate raider billionaire

named Len Dinerstein has purchased a suspiciously large chunk of stock in

Juliet’s hotel company, and what does it all mean?

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