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Marcia Brady has “Gone Country”

OK, I’m part of the problem. I’m calling her Marcia Brady instead of Maureen McCormick, and she’s doing this American Idol meets The Surreal Life reality show partly because she’s sick of everyone calling her Marcia.

But I’m a child of the ’70s. And once a Brady, always a Brady.

However, I’m also a country music fan, and that’s what’s drawing me toward and repelling me from the new CMT show Gone Country. I watched the first episode of it this weekend and was not as horrified as I expected to be. But I was a little horrified.

The premise is your basic fish-out-of-water reality show: Seven mostly non–country music professionals are competing to be the next big country sensation. And, of course, they’re living together in a mansion and sharing bedrooms — because that’s what people on reality shows do. It’s not really clear what all of their agendas are.

Dee Snider (of Twisted Sister fame) doesn’t like country music and seems most interested in getting into a pissing match with Bobby Brown. Bobby Brown, however, seems pretty interested in exploring another type of music.

Sisqo (of “Thong Song” fame) seems pretty interested in the musical challenge as well. And I cannot really tell what Julio Iglesias Jr. is doing there, but host/judge John Rich (of Big & Rich) seems very interested in developing an artist who will appeal to a Latino audience.

And then there are the women.

American Idol runner-up Diana DeGarmo is “in it to win it.”

Former Wilson Phillips member and talk show host Carnie Wilson seems determined to battle some personal demons.

And, of course, Maureen McCormick wants to establish herself as Maureen rather than Marcia. And she also seems to want to cry a lot. And to smoke cigarettes with Bobby Brown.

There’s definitely an element of Rhinestone here. (Dolly Parton bragged that she could turn anyone into a country singer, and proved it with cabbie Sylvester Stallone.)

Of course, all of these performers are professional musicians of one stripe or another. And Maureen McCormick actually released a country album (which I own!) in 1995. (This was in addition to her Brady-era LPs.)

Therefore, it may be a little more like The Thing Called Love, in which Samantha Mathis, Sandra Bullock, River Phoenix

and Dermot Mulroney were all mentored by KT Oslin in their quest to write the breakthrough country song — and find themselves in the process.

And there’s a touch of The Simple Life as they do things like shovel the things one shovels in a barn in order to learn that being “country” is more than songwriting and singing.

As a country music fan, I’m encouraged that the competition is as much about songwriting as it is about performance. Because, in my opinion, a good country song has a little bit of twang, perhaps a little steel guitar and, definitely, a good story. (According to David Allan Coe, the perfect country and western song has to mention mama, trains, trucks, prison and/or getting drunk.) So, I’m hoping that this show will be more than wearing cowboy hats, playing the rhinestone-studded Gibson guitars the contestants were issued and affecting a country accent. But I’m not exactly holding my breath.

However, now that I’ve stupidly watched the first episode, it’s a pretty safe bet I’m going to keep watching to see what happens.

Any other country music fans out there drawn to this train wreck?

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