THIS WEEK’S L WORD VOCABULARY:
THIS WEEK’S GUEST-BIANS: Lucia Rijker flexes; Wallace Shawn waltzes; Jane Lynch plotzes.
Eloquence in small spaces — Do you ever read the TV listings in the newspaper, with those hyperefficient one- or two-sentence descriptions of movies? Here are a few examples from Sunday’s New York Times:
Those terse masterpieces have always amazed me. But this one takes the cake — here’s how the interactive guide on my DVR summed up this episode of The L Word:
Gonzo for Lez Girls — Tina and Jenny are meeting with Tina’s boss, Aaron. He wants more sex. Um, not in general — though that’s probably true too. But he’s talking about the rewrite of Lez Girls.
That takes me back to Season 1, when Bette asked Alice, “Why is it so important for you to believe that everyone is sleeping with everyone else?” I think we all know why it’s important for this guy. He makes a loathsome scissoring gesture when he asks for more sex in the screenplay. And then he makes specific requests. First, “Bev and this makeup artist should totally hook up.”
And that’s what we get to see: Bev and Shaun making out.
Urrrgh. My eyes my eyes my eyes my eyes my eyes my eyes! I was not prepared for that. How could I ever be prepared for that?! Shane? And Bette? And Bette? And Shane? Ahgahgahgahgah!
Tina and Jenny agree with me; they say that would never happen. But Aaron doesn’t care about real life. He lives in Hollywood.
They spring back to life when the story lines start to spin again. (I half expect somebody to say, “Picture it: Sicily, 1942.”)
And then Aaron suggests that Nina and Shaun take the stage instead:
That one made me giggle, mostly because Laurel Holloman wriggled around with such abandon. Considering this and her perfect expressions in the reimagined party scene last time, I think we can conclude that Laurel has a profound appreciation for camp. Also, now that I’ve gotten over the shock of Bev and Shaun together, I can appreciate the music, which is very secret-agent-chillout-Angela-Robinson-ish.
Note to self: Don’t ever cross Jenny. The grudge will never die. (But it will keep you laughing while it lives.)
Well, whatever you might think of this meta stuff, it certainly reveals what these characters think of themselves. I mean, what the writers think these characters think of themselves. Or what the writers think of themselves? Or what they think we think they think of themselves? Help me, Mama Chaiken: I need a decoder ring!