A while back, I told you about the updated version of American Gladiators, set to hit the small screen Jan. 6. At the time, I told you I was waiting with bated breath to see who would be filling the spandex on the women’s side of gladiator row. Well, the list has arrived. The 12 new gladiators have been primped, posed and photographed for your viewing pleasure. The cast is led by hosts Hulk Hogan and the beautiful Laila Ali, who could easily be one of the gladiators herself.
The six male gladiators have names like Justice, Mayhem and Militia. But, as you might expect, I’m far more interested in the women. I figured you might be too, so I’ll stick with the six women from here on out.
Let us begin with 6’1″ bodybuilder and World’s Strongest Woman competitor Robin Coleman, known in the arena as Hellga. (Yes, with two L’s.)
OK, I’m scared. Except for the skirt. Leather skirt a la Xena, fine. Spandex skirt, not so fine. That’s like making women play baseball in skirts and calling them girls. Ugh.
Structural engineer Jamie Reed fulfilled a prophecy of sorts when she became Fury. She was voted “Most likely to be on American Gladiators” by her high school classmates. I think her ponytail might be pulled just a bit too tight though.
Restaurant owner and former collegiate volleyball player Valerie Waugaman becomes Siren when she hits the stage. She’ll lure you in with that smirk, then kick your tail.
And then there’s Air Force Academy grad and former cheerleader Tanji Johnson, who will answer to the name Stealth. She’s only 5’3″, but don’t let that fool you. This woman clearly means business.
Personal trainer and gymnast Beth Horn is the blonde bombshell of the bunch. She’s pure Venom while battling contestants. Must there be a bottle blonde in every bunch?
Finally, we have Fight Girls alum Gina Carano, who will enter the Gladiator arena as Crush.
No way could I fight her. I’d be too busy drooling.