Best. Lesbian. Halloween. Ever.

If you’re a horror fan like me, then Halloween trumps all as the most wonderful time of the year. Sure, there are plenty of awful movies out there, but I’m an optimist when it comes to horror films. I simply love a good scare and the adrenaline rush it provides. Even better? There are tons of horror flicks (and a few TV shows) with lesbians in them.

That’s why I’ve put together this handy guide to lesbians and bisexual women in horror.

From the tried and true (Buffy, of course!) to the rare and scary (Robert Wise’s The Haunting, for instance) and everything in between (including an almost-forgotten appearance by Amanda Bearse in Fright Night), this guide takes you beyond the lesbian vampire and into the gory world of murdered sorority girls, slumber party massacres and lesbian camping trips gone very, very bad.

So light up your jack-o-lanterns and get your spooky punch ready, because now you can make this the Best. Lesbian. Halloween. Ever.

NOW THAT’S A VERY SPECIAL EPISODE!
With all the vampires, monsters and other assorted baddies, every episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer is like a Halloween episode. (Besides, Buffy fans can always find an excuse to watch the show: “Is it Bastille Day already? Sweet! Put in Buffy!”) In Season 2, however, there was an actual Halloween episode, cleverly titled “Halloween.” 

Thrill! to the exploits of the Scooby Gang as they put on enchanted costumes that take over their lives: Buffy becomes an 18th-century damsel in distress, Xander becomes a soldier, and Willow becomes a ghost with some sexy underneath. 

But (with apologies to Willow fans) I think the best Halloween specials in the history of ever are It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown (starring the subject of endless “is she or isn’t she?” speculation, Peppermint Patty) and all those amazing Roseanne episodes. My favorite? The one from Season 5, when Darlene (Sara Gilbert) appears done up as Tippi Hedren from Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds, complete with a crows-gouging-eyes ensemble.

THE AFTERELLEN.COM HORROR 100
You’d be hard pressed to find an actress on AfterEllen.com’s Hot 100 list who hasn’t made a horror film. Everyone from Emily Blunt (Wind Chill) and Jordana Brewster (Texas Chain Saw Massacre: The Beginning) to Naomi Watts (Children of the Corn IV) and Katee Sackhoff has, at one time or another, dipped her toe in a big pool of red Karo Syrup, it seems. 

Wait, you say. Katee Sackhoff? What movie was she in? Well, a long, long time ago (2002), a little movie titled Halloween: Resurrection came along and caused heartbreak amongst horror fans the world over, what with its Busta Rhymes vs. Michael Myers karate fight and all. The film is even more pathetic when one considers the fact that the Halloween saga jumped the shark no less than four sequels before this one. 

After viewing Halloween: Resurrection once, I vowed that I would do all I possibly could to forget that it even exists. Yes, folks, the film is so bad that I decided I’d rather punch myself in the face with flaming fists rather than ever set eyes on it again. But then in 2003, something happened. Along came the new Battlestar Galactica, you see, and with it the Viper pilot known as Starbuck (Katee Sackhoff). I loves me some Starbuck. 

A year or so after Battlestar premiered, I managed to put two and two together (hey, sometimes it takes me a while) and I realized that Sackhoff had a role in Halloween: Resurrection. Not remembering her whatsoever, I began to think: “Hmm. Gee, I wonder what she looked like in Halloween. Wait, why did I hate that movie, again? It wasn’t so bad …”

The next thing I knew, I was loading the DVD in search of Sackhoff … and shortly afterward, I was threatening to punch myself in the face again. Please, my friends: I know it’s a temptation to watch the film, but I beg of you — take this screencap and back away from Halloween: Resurrection slowly. You’ll thank me for it, honest. 

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