I scream, you scream, we all scream for the ladies of the Scream Awards

Theoretically, the Spike TV Scream
Awards
should totally
not be my thing. First, it’s on Spike TV, the channel with the subtle
tagline “Get More Action” and programming aimed at the young adult male market.
You know, the polar opposite of Lifetime Television for Women. Second,
it’s an award show dedicated to horror, sci-fi and fantasy. While
I enjoy a lot of sci-fi and fantasy, I’ve never been a big horror
fan. I can’t help it; I scare easily. And finally, I can’t take
any event seriously that asks Paris Hilton

to appear. But then I heard Lena Headey
would also be there, and suddenly all that other stuff didn’t seem
to matter that much.

Oh, Lena. Even your crazy choice
of potato-sack couture could not deter my devotion. Now I’m going
to have to tape the telecast and fast-forward to your parts. Or, better
yet, wait until some similarly stalkerish devoted
fan posts the clips online.

The Scream Awards were held last Friday in Los
Angeles, and the broadcast airs at 10:00 tonight on Spike. And for
those of you with a somewhat less obsessive view of lovely Lena, there
are some other reasons to watch. Like, say, Rosario Dawson’s
tongue:

Or Jessica Biel’s
guns.

Or Kristanna Loken’s
poodle ‘do.

Or Tricia Helfer’s,
uh, necklace.

Or Megan Fox’s “Angelina
who?” tattoos.

Or Kristen Bell’s
“I’m a Hero now, stop calling me Veronica” head tilt.

Or Jessica Alba’s
potentially homicidal tendencies.

Or Kristy Swanson’s
“I know I’m not Sarah Michelle Gellar, but this is as close to Buffy
as you’re going to get, geeks” smirk.

Or Nichelle Nichols
ability to look regal even while standing in front of a tacky backdrop
advertising Taco Bell.

And if all of those photos haven’t given you reason enough to watch, how about AfterEllen.com contributing writer Final Girl’s
live-from-the-black-(yes, black)-carpet interviews
with Lena and Kristanna? Final Girl works for Pretty/Scary, a site for women in horror by women
in horror, and she created this clip just for us (the full video will be posted soon on Pretty/Scary). Looks like she managed to intrigue both actresses. I am now officially jealous.

Oh, and one more reason to
tune in to Spike at 10 tonight: Paris got booed.

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