THIS WEEK’S RAP SHEET:
Ominous music — It’s nighttime. There’s a cab. Hear that music? Isn’t that the same music that played during the far too drawn-out drama of Nikki’s escape? I will always think of those woop-woo-doo-be-doo-woop beats as jailbreak music. Because that’s what they’re signifying now, too: Shell and Denny are getting out of the cab. They offer the driver a middle finger rather than the £9.50 he requests. The whole thing should be fun and exciting, but Shell still scares me a little. OK, a lot.
Bodybag’s bad day — Hollamby and Fenner grumble about the bad news: Shell, Denny and Shaz are definitely missing. (Well, Fenner calls them “Dockley, Blood and Wiley,” which sounds more like a law firm.)
Ask your buddy the back-alley key duplicator, Fenner. He might have a theory.
Hollamby points out that the documentary team’s van is also gone. It’s like a little “previously on Bad Girls” thingie, but via dialogue rather than a collection of scenes. Cheaper, if less effective.
Reunited — Denny runs into an old friend of hers, Gary (aka “Gaz,” which makes no sense to me as a nickname, but then neither does “Shaz” for “Sharon”). Isn’t it convenient that he’s just hanging out on the street, as if he were waiting for them to pass by? They need a place to crash, but he’s not feeling generous. But then Shell flirts with him, so he gives them his key. Ick. Thanks for undoing years of feminism with the slightest bat of your eyelashes, Shell.
Plenty of planted evidence — Fenner and Gina search Shell’s cell. They find all the evidence Fenner so carefully left in plain sight: the boom mike guy’s business card; Shell’s fabricated diary of Helen’s iniquities; the bar of soap with the key impressions in it.
Speaking of keys, there’s Helen, wearing her leather jacket and jangling her keys. Why is that so unutterably hot?!
Helen, Karen and Simon are on damage control duty.
Who needs clear antecedents when you have that accent?
Helen says the film crew was a bad idea in the first place, but Simon isn’t interested in hindsight. He is wondering, however, why Fenner (who was in charge at the time) let three inmates escape. Right on cue, Fenner clomps down the stairs, dirty soap bar in hand. Convenient, isn’t it? I think that’s what Helen is thinking. Maybe she’s just thinking, “No amount of soap will ever wash you clean, pig.”
Denny’s mate’s apartment (er, flat) — Shell and Denny are trying on wigs, getting high and watching the tube. They’re thrilled to see themselves described as "dangerous" on the news. Ugh. Denny, I like you so much better when you’re not hanging out with Shell.
Another pair I don’t want to see together — Karen and Jim are walking and strolling. She suggests they keep things professional for a while, until the whole mess blows over. He immediately starts to pout.
Di interrupts to announce that Shaz has turned up at a hospital. Fenner goes from pouting to panicking.
The telltale book — In the wing office, Fenner asks Gina whether she has read Shell’s diary yet. Karen decides she needs a break from Patricia Cornwell anyway and takes the diary home with her. It’s funny to think of Karen reading Cornwell — like she needs more crime and criminals in her life. Or maybe she just likes those back-cover pictures of Pat in her bomber jacket.
Planning another reunion — Gaz is already sick of Denny and Shell (and is worried they’ll bring the police to his house), so he kicks them out. Shell knows exactly where she wants to go next: Bodybag’s house.
Shell looks sort of goth in her black wig, while Denny looks like … hmm, I’m not sure what. Like Denny in a bad red wig? But also kinda cute, somehow.
However, I really don’t like Den when she acts like a juvenile delinquent, giggling as Shell threatens Gary and steals his stash of cash. I guess bad girls are only fun to fantasize about when they’re behind bars, rather than wreaking havoc on the streets.