If the apocalypse comes, beep her: Women you want by your side


It’s the end. That volcano towering over your hometown is about to blow, and you only have an hour to get out of town and save assorted important people and innocent children along the way No, wait. A gang of murderous strangers — or army of the undead, take your pick — is on your tail without adequate exposition, and your assorted armory is out of bullets. Or maybe it’s that the asteroid approaches on a collision course, threatening the earth with a dinosaur-like extinction.

In any case, one question remains: Who do you call in an apocalypse? Which hero do you want to help you save the world, then take home afterward to celebrate your survival? Those were questions actually asked by a recent study. (OK, not the one about taking her home. That was me. But really, what’s the good of saving the world if you can’t snuggle with your honey when it’s over?) Here’s the only woman to make the top ten:

This I do get. But the winner of the survey was obviously not selected by a lesbian audience: MacGyver. Um, no, though I might let him sacrifice himself for the greater good. Other top selections aren’t much better: Indiana Jones, John McClane (Bruce Willis in the Die Hard movies), James Bond and Jack Bauer. Clever, all, but nobody I’d want to keep particularly close.

So I’m curious. What would the lesbian survey say? That is, besides anyone who is not MacGyver. Obviously, we can do better, so I’m opening the floor for nominations. Here are my personal picks.

Sarah and Lori mentioned this first one in their “Disastrous Women” edition of She Made Me Watch This! and I agree: Vivica Fox‘s Jasmine Dubrow-Hiller from Independence Day is a woman you want around after an alien invasion.

Who better to collect and lead a growing band of survivors and save people who deserve it along the way?

To combat extraterrestrial threats themselves, I’d be calling in Sigourney Weaver‘s Ripley.

She’s tough and knows how to properly handle the necessary equipment to get a job done. Just look at her outfit.

If an apocalypse of the natural disaster variety is on its way, having a woman around who can control the weather with her mutant superpowers would be handy. Meteors, volcanoes, tornadoes — Halle Berry‘s Storm could make them all go away.

You knew a Sunnydale alum would make the list (well, at least those of you who could cite the Buffy episode source of this blog title did). For sheer numbers of apocalypses averted, who can compete? Buffy may be the slayer, but I’m crossing her off the list, because I prefer to face a crisis without any sort of emotional breakdown beforehand. No, I pick Alyson Hannigan‘s Willow, a woman who can create a new world order with the chant of a single spell.

Also, with Willow, you can take comfort in the knowledge that should you happen to die, she just might flay the bad guy alive and then bring on that apocalypse herself. What? If I can’t win, maybe that’s the ending I prefer.

Your turn. Who would you call in case of apocalypse?

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