“Top Chef: Boston” recap (12.5): Foiled Again

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Previously on Top Chef: Boston, Swayze and Rebecca were sent home, and I almost completely lost my shit over how much I despise Aaron. No, seriously, I wish you could’ve seen me while I was writing the recap- I was worked up. In an effort to keep my blood pressure down, I’ve decided to try to keep the Aaron comments to a minimum this week. He’s not worth any of our time or anger, so I will just refer to him as DoucheBro when necessary.

This week, the chefs are back at home, unwinding after the last challenge. Boston Stacy is in a real dark place right now; she thought she was one of the chefs going home for sure. Katsuji continues to be the house jokester. Napoleon compares living with Katsuji to having a brother, which is so exactly right that I can’t believe I didn’t think of it before! Everyone has one of those friends, that guy who is the little brother you never had (or wanted)mine is named Ben. (Hi, Ben!) Anyway, this realization makes me like Katsuji a whole lot more.

photo1  “Stop copying me.” “STOP COPYING ME.”

It’s a new day and the chefs are back in the kitchen where they meet this week’s guest judge, James Beard Award Winner Jamie Bissonnette. Padma introduces the Quickfire Challenge basically the same way I would introduce a cage match to the death. There’s a lot of talk about sizing up the competition and the blood lust is palpable. Padma will call a chef’s name, the chef will then choose their competitor. The competitor gets to chose the method of cooking and the protein.

::Pause for Reynolds product placement break because they’re giving the winner $10k::

photo2WORKS GREAT FOR ALL YOUR FOILY NEEDS!

Katsuji chooses DoucheBro, to teach him “how real chefs behave” and I like Katsuji even more now. Napoleon chooses HipAdam to “knock him down a peg,” which I also appreciate. Just generally speaking, I think people should be on lower pegs than they usually are. There’s also probably a short guy joke here that I’m totally not going to make, because Doug is growing on me. (Damnit, I guess I kind of made one anyway oops I’m sorry.)

Keriann sees that Stacy is really vulnerable right now and she’s just like, “Yes, I’ll definitely choose Stacy and exploit her insecurities.” Not a bad tactic, I guess. Ruthless, but smart. Melissa is the last chef to actively choose, because only Katie, Gregory, and Mei are left. Probably Melissa sings “One Of These Things (is Not Like The Others)” in her head and then obviously chooses Katie. Gregory and Mei are left to battle one another. Two chefs enter, one chef leaves.

photo3“We’re alpha dogs, motherfucker.” “Arf arf, bitches.”

The chefs have their usual thirty minutes for a quickfire, so they all run willy nilly around the kitchen and chat about their dishes. HipAdam hilariously explains that he brings a certain je ne sais quoi, a certain flair, that his competitors does not, and then his pot flares up. EDITING, GUYS, GOTTA LOVE IT. ::slow clap::

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