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“Once Upon A Time” recap (4.7): The Ties That Bind

Previously on Once Upon A Time, Ingrid the Snow Queen posed as Sarah Fisher the Dairy Queen to lure Elsa who is also a Snow Queen and Emma who could have been queen into being part of her Family of the Magically Misunderstood and At Least A Little Gay. Also Regina’s in her vault hiding from all the heteronormativity going on aboveground but somehow it keeps finding her.

We begin a long, long time ago (or yesterday, you never know on this show), in Arendelle, with two little girls who look like a wee Elsa and Anna who go chasing after a kite in a rolling green field. But we soon learn it isn’t Elsa and Anna, because a third girl joins them; it’s the three sisters: Ingrid, Gerda, and Helga. The kite the sisters are chasing gets stuck in a tree and falls to the ground, and the three girls start to fight over who will get the ribbons that made its tail. They are interrupted by the actual owner of the kite, who seems all nice at first, until he tries to kidnap the princesses for ransom. Ingrid panics and throws up her hands, and magic ice powers shoot out of her palms, hitting a nearby tree, and sending a frozen branch tumbling down on the kidnapper. Though not before he called her a monster.

When her sisters go toward her, Ingrid pulls back, afraid she’ll hurt them, but Helga and Gerda each take one of her hands and says they will never think she’s a monster. Helga picks up the kite tail they had been fighting about and unties it, giving one ribbon to each girl. They make a sisterly pact to always stick together, no matter what, and to help Ingrid hide and/or control her powers.

Present day Ingrid slowly climbs up the stairs of the Storybrooke clock tower, and when she reaches the top, wooshes her mirror up there, smiling mischievously all the while. In a beautiful moment of juxtaposition, we next see Regina next to HER mirror, as black as the Snow Queen’s is white. She’s reading a book, minding her own business, when Robin Hood appears. She tells him, again, to go away and love his wife that he was so adamant about his vows to, but Robin Hood proves he’s been hanging out with the men of Storybrooke too long and seems to be taking the “persistence is key” method of courting. Robin Hood is having a hard time forgetting about Regina, because he is human, and who could forget her? She tells him that he has to try harder and sends him on his merry way.

At the sheriff’s precinct, Emma shows Elsa a spell Belle found that should be able to quell the Snow Queen’s powers without hurting or killing her. Elsa’s glad; she might be a psychopath who wants to keep Emma and Elsa like magical dolls, but there are questions she needs answers to. Elsa asks Emma if anyone else in her family has powers, and when she says no, Elsa empathizes, knowing it’s hard when the people you love look at you differently. Emma says her family doesn’t do that, and Elsa says “you’re lucky” in a way that sounds like she pities the babygay. Emma tries the magic candle spell on Elsa, but it doesn’t work, but Emma’s not too concerned about it. She has to hang out with her baby brother who is named after her dead baby daddy, so she’ll worry about the spell later.

When she goes to meet her mother, Mary Margaret is in a Mommy and Me class with a bunch of characters that have apparently been in Storybrooke this whole time, including Ashley and Aurora. Emma tells Ash she’s got a weird but cool thing going on here, and Ashley says it’s important for first time moms to stick together. Emma is insulted Mary Margaret considers herself a first time mom. She tries to play it cool, but she ends up boiling the bottle of milk she’s holding. Emma shrugs it off as residual magic from the spell earlier, but suddenly Mary Margaret is hesitant to hand over her baby, and Emma gets her first glimpse into what Elsa and Ingrid were talking about.

David calls Emma and tells her he found an ice trail that goes up to the top of the clock tower, and even though she only seems to leave that trail when she wants to be followed, Team Storybrooke follows it like children following the Pied Piper. Emma uses the candle to slap magical handcuffs on the Snow Queen, and Elsa is so delighted she hugs her. The Snow Queen says, “You got me” the way you say it to children when they find you in your purposefully terrible hiding spot during a game of Hide & Seek.

Flashback, a little less back than last time, to a mostly grown Helga and Gerda getting ready for their father’s 70th birthday party while Ingrid looks on. Helga and Gerda beg their sister to join them, but Ingrid is insistent on staying in the closet. She doesn’t trust herself to not reveal her true nature if she’s surrounded by people, so she will just stay in her room. Her sisters try to explain to her that she’s not “afflicted”, that she’s totally normal, and she was just born that way, but Ingrid knows that Helga is introducing her suitor to her father tonight and doesn’t want to risk ruining it. Ingrid’s sisters take her hands once again, just like they did when they were small, and they are all still wearing their yellow ribbons; the power of three will set them free.

Down at the dance, Helga introduces the Duke of Weselton to her father, and he stammers and trips over his words as he compliments the king’s daughter. As the Duke and Princess Helga dance, Ingrid watches on, and little snowflakes of sadness surround her as she watches her sister have the heterosexual happily ever after that Ingrid will never have. Present-day Ingrid is cuffed in the interrogation room that I didn’t know existed until just now. Elsa and Emma tag-team her (with questions, you perv), and Elsa goes in as Bad Cop, demanding to know where her sister is. Ingrid tells her that she shouldn’t be looking for Anna, since Anna, just like everyone else, couldn’t handle Elsa’s differences and is the reason she was in that urn. Elsa turns the Bad Cop up to 50, but Good Cop Emma sends the angry Elsa away, saying she’ll take it from here. Emma calmly tells Ingrid that she’s not interested in being her “sister buddy” (I really wish she had said “sister wife”). Ingrid gets inside Emma’s head, and even mentions her “superpower” which apparently is a delusion Emma made up when she was even younger than however old she was when she was in Ingrid’s foster home. Ingrid tells Emma that she’s confident Emma will see things her way soon enough, and that she’ll even let the Snow Queen go.

Finally above ground and back in her house, Regina is reading the infamous storybook and positively glowering at the story of Robin Hood and Maid Marion. Henry comes in and asks her to help him tie his tie; Grampa Gold wants him to dress up for his manual labor at the pawn shop. He asks her about the book and she says she’s ready to let this happy ending go, and be ready for the next one. So if Hook takes a long walk off a short plank and Emma finds herself single again, she’s on board. Regina’s going to kick Operation Mongoose into high gear. Henry has some ideas of what clues to look for in the shop, because he doesn’t want to grow up to be totally useless like his other grandfather.

Still in the interrogation room, Emma questions Madame Scoops about the Spell of Shattered Sight. Ingrid says she was going to cast the spell to protect Emma, to show her who her real family is. Elsa and Ingrid are her family, they’re like her, they are the only ones who can truly understand her. Emma declares again that her family loves her for who she is, including her powers, but you can hear the hint of doubt in her voice.

Flash back to Helga and Gerda finding Ingrid on her way out the door. She plans to make herself scarce, maybe live in an ice castle atop a snowy mountain, so that she can’t hurt anyone. She tells Helga that she has plenty of compassion and strength, and she will make a wonderful queen. Helga says they can’t separate, and Gerda has an idea that might keep them together; she once heard about a sorcerer who might be able to help Ingrid control her powers. He lives in Mist Haven, and his name is Rumpelstiltskin. In present-day Storybrooke, Elsa and Hook are looking into the Snow Queen’s magic mirror. Hook is unimpressed and Elsa thinks it looks rather ordinary. When Belle sees them so close to it, she freaks out, warning them not to look into their own eyes. Hook says he’s physically incapable of not checking out his own reflection and he’s fine, so Belle takes a gander and realizes that this mirror is a fake. Suddenly they realize that they celebrated their victory before the game was over and run to the sheriff’s precinct, and sure enough, the door is frozen shut.

Team Charming storms into Gold’s shop, and Belle begs him to help them stop the Snow Queen. Rumple calmly agrees and they all rush back out again. Hook lingers behind because somehow he can sometimes be the smartest one in this town, and asks why he doesn’t seem all that concerned with this Snow Queen. Rumple says his history is his and his alone and tells Captain Guyliner to let it go (eh hem).

Flashback Rumpelstiltskin is approached by the Unfortunately Named Sisters and he asks them why Ingrid would want to give up her powers, why wouldn’t she just want lessons? Also was she sure? Because love is free but magic always comes with a price. Ingrid is sure, and he asks for their sister ribbons in return for his help; they’ve been so imbued with love that they’re artifacts at this point. Helga and Gerda don’t want to give up their ribbons, but Ingrid insists, so they hand them over, and in exchange Rumple gives her a pair of gloves to conceal her powers and an urn to trap her if she gets out of hand.

Present-day Ingrid tries to remind Emma of the anger she felt when she was her foster mother, the pain and loneliness and feeling of being unwanted that she carried around with her. The Snow Queen says she knows how Emma feels, “Different, misunderstood, alone, gay.” Emma just keeps repeating that her parents love her, that they did what they had to, that they don’t fear her, but Ingrid’s words fill her up to bursting with anger. When Emma slams her hands down on the table to get Ingrid to stop talking, she blows a giant hole in the wall of the interrogation room. Ingrid is positively ECSTATIC at this turn of events. The Snow Queen uncuffs herself; she hadn’t been a prisoner after all. She swooshes herself away in a flurry, leaving Emma to examine the mess she made, horrified. Team Charming shows up, but Emma does the same thing Ingrid and Elsa have done before, she backs away from the ones she loves, tells them to stay away, terrified of hurting them. Hook, ever the good listener, grabs at her anyway, spooking her and sending more uncontrolled magic careening out of her hands. A lightpost falls and almost squishes Hook but David saves his boyfriend at the last minute, getting bashed over the head himself. Mary Margaret is furious with Emma and looks at her with anger in her eyes. She regrets it instantly, since Emma looked like she was just stabbed in the heart, and calls after Emma, but Emma gets in her buggy and drives away. Ingrid gleefully watches the whole thing transpire.

Back in Arendelle, Duke Weselton sees Ingrid in the garden, and proves his true Weasel nature by making moves on her, since she will be the true queen. She is appalled, angry for her sister who truly loves him, and pushes him away, but he advances on her aggressively. Ingrid uses her powers to send him flying back, and Helga shows up just in time to see him collect himself, huffing about how Ingrid tried to kiss him and then kill him. Helga thanks him, but then does something that makes her the best character on this show to date: She takes her sister’s side. She doesn’t just believe the Duke’s story because she’s in love with him, she defends her sister. But things quickly go to hell when Weselton threatens Ingrid and calls her a monster. Ingrid lets loose some ice power and it hits Helga (BECAUSE THE WEASEL USED HER AS A SHIELD), freezing her solid. Before Ingrid can perform an act of true love or even rip her heart out to try to save her sister, Ingrid watches as Helga crumbles into a thousand ice cubes. Robin Hood goes to Regina again, because Will Scarlet told him that true love was worth ruining your life for, and basically says, “I’m a good guy, I promise, but my wife is giving me the cold shoulder so I decided to cheat on her with you.” He then kisses her, making her an accomplice in the cheating whether she wants to be or not.

At the Charming Loft, Team Charming tells Mary Margaret that they can’t find Emma. (Because they don’t have Ruby to track for them…just saying.) Elsa says that she saw the way they looked at Emma, and she knows exactly what Emma is feeling. Mary Margaret knows they’ve messed up, bad.

Flashback Gerda finds Helga weeping over a roughly-human-shaped pile of ice cubes and immediately realizes what happened. Ingrid feels as broken as the pieces of her sister on the ground and reaches out for Gerda, but Gerda is too scared. She had only taken Ingrid’s hand the first time, all those years ago, because Helga had reassured her, had told her it would be okay. Without Helga, the glue that held them together, the bridge between them, there wasn’t enough to hold the bond between these two sisters. Choking on the words, as though she only partially believed it, Gerda calls Ingrid a monster and opens the urn, condemning Ingrid to wear her sparkly gown for the rest of eternity.

Gerda picks up the gloves Ingrid left behind (they’ll come in handy someday) and goes to the rock trolls. She begs Grand Pabby to help Arendelle forget she ever had any sisters, to save them the pain and confusion, so that she can rule the kingdom in peace. Grand Pabby reminds her that magic always comes with a price, but Gerda is sure she’s already paid her dues.

Present-day Ingrid goes to visit Gold’s Shop, and Rumple tells the Snow Queen he’s impressed with how she manipulated Emma into hulking out. Ingrid tells him she’s ready to make the deal he’s been wanting her to make; she will tell him what he needs to do to rid himself of the chains that link him to the Dark One’s dagger, and she wants her sister’s ribbons back. She says the terms of the deal are this: When he’s fully the Dark One, with no dagger to enslave him, he can have the rest of this world and any other he chooses. But the Snow Queen wants Storybrooke. And presumably everyone in it, specifically the magical ones. Even though they had been talking openly and loudly about their evil plans thus far, Ingrid decides to lean in close and whisper the thing Rumple needs to do, and he says he’ll do it with great pleasure. Which means it’s probably something like “kill a pirate” or “kill at least ten people you’re not blood related to” or the like.

What did you think of “The Snow Queen”?

Here are some of our favorite #queerytales tweets from this week. Don’t forget to tweet along with me (@PunkyStarshine) and the rest of these hilarious humans:

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