“Jane the Virgin” recap (1.3): Big Balls of Evil


“Chapter Three” began with a flashback of a younger Jane catching a firefly and making two wishes: 1) To grow boobs. 2) For someone to want to touch them. Flash forward a bit to a 16-year-old Jane and her boyfriend. Her boobs are finally going to be touched when she drops a bomb on him that she’s “saving herself for marriage.” Way to put a damper on the perfect boob touching moment. Upset about her boyfriend breaking up with her over the whole “no sex before marriage” thing, Abuela teaches her the importance of telling the truth. Because even the littlest of lies can spiral into “big balls of evil.” Latino parenting at its best: instill a huge amount of fear and guilt into the child so they will never do anything wrong.

Jane decides that since she is already pregnant, why bother waiting to have sex anymore? She tells Michael the glorious news. It’s as though Christmas came early for him. He suggests the back seat, since they’re already in the car, but she wants something more romantical. For instance, a suite at the hotel in which she works. The same hotel that Rafael owns. The same Rafael that Jane is now kinda, sorta catching feelings for. That’s right. Jane is catching some sort of feelings for her baby daddy. Her heart beats faster whenever she’s around him. It’s making her reconsider the whole sex thing with Michael.

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Back in Rafael and Petra’s room, they are talking about Zazo’s death. Here we find out that Zazo was Rafael’s roommate back in college. Rafael talks about notifying Zazo’s brother about the death but can’t even remember his name. Petra claims that she didn’t even know Zazo had a brother. It’s in this moment that she realizes her necklace is missing. The very same necklace she was wearing in Zazo’s room the night she tried to end things with him but instead he choked her and her necklace came undone. Now she has to get it back or she’ll become a suspect.

While at work, Jane walks over to take a table’s order. Turns out the table just so happens to include Luisa, the very same doctor whom Jane is suing for accidentally impregnating her, Rose, and Luisa’s father, Mr. Solano. Awkward turtle! Jane decides that it’s probably not a good idea to wait on them so she goes off to find another waiter for their table. Mr. Solano steps away from the table for a moment and Luisa tells Rose to leave her father and run away with her. Rose claims that what happened between them won’t ever happen again. Mmm hmm. That’s what they all say.

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After finding another waiter for their table, Jane goes off and gets a hotel suite on the same floor as Zazo’s room, since the police have closed off the entire floor for investigation. While checking out the room, Jane notices Petra lurking outside of Zazo’s room while the police are inside. Petra pops a pill. Michael comes around the corner and he and Petra they get into the elevator together. Jane takes the stairs all the way down to catch them both getting out of the elevator together and confronts Michael. He says Petra was speaking with him about hotel security, but we all know that is a lie.

Jane has a weird feeling about Petra and the whole pill popping incident. So, she does what anyone else would do, she sneaks into Petra’s apartment. Jane takes Petra’s dry cleaning to her room when she thinks Petra isn’t there. After a bit of snooping, Jane finds a prescription pill bottle just as Petra pops up behind her. Remembering what Abuela told her years ago about lies, Jane confesses that she saw Petra taking a pill outside of Zazo’s room. Petra claims it’s Xanax, which she got two years ago when Rafael found out he had cancer. This was the third pill she’s taken since then. Jane is still unsure of Petra until she shows Jane the baby’s nursery. And here is where we all shed a tear because it’s oh so sweet.

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Back in Zazo’s room, Michael is searching the couch for Petra’s necklace. He finds it and quickly pockets it without anyone noticing. Rafael shows up to ask questions about the investigation, since he has to give a press release about the incident. Michael leaves, refusing to tell Rafael anything, after finding out Petra’s alibi was a lie. She was in a stairwell just before Zazo’s murder but refuses to explain why. Michael’s partner then asks Rafael questions about Zazo and if he knew anything about Zazo’s girlfriend. Rafael is confused because Zazo didn’t have a girlfriend that he knew of.

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