“Grey’s Anatomy” recap (11.5): Real Lesbian Housewives MD of Seattle

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Gentle readers, I know that last night’s episode was a real doozy for Calzona shippers. So let’s do what we do best: process.

Arizona’s voiceover starts us off telling us about the “triad of death” which doesn’t exactly give you the warm and fuzzies. She tells us it’s the point of no return and, as she does, images of her and Callie’s past flash before us. Then we see that Callie and Arizona have started therapy, finally. Callie is frustrated that Arizona has, in her eyes, backed away from having another child. Arizona pipes up saying that she didn’t say she didn’t want to have another child, which is technically true, but rather unconvincing. When she speaks up about the fellowship advancing her career, Callie counters with the fact that it’s doing the opposite for their family. The therapist interrupts them, and asks Callie to sit back and let Arizona continue. The room is heavy with resentment and hurt feelings, but most of all, sadness.

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In the OR, Arizona works with Dr. Herman on a mother and her newborn child. Arizona keeps looking back and talking to Alex about the baby, but Dr. Hermann snaps at her: “The baby is no longer your patient, pay attention here.” For Arizona, that must feel like the most counter-intuitive thing ever.

Therapy, another day: Arizona has the floor and uses it to tell Callie some of the things she loves about her; her empowering doctor voice, the way she bites her lip when she’s concentrating, how she smiles in her sleep. Callie cuts her off, wanting to know how come Arizona doesn’t tell her these kinds of things more often. Arizona feels that Callie is often trying to speak for her, rather than letting her speak herself. The therapist suggests that they try that little exercise again, without interrupting one another and using their therapy talk to communicate. I feel.

Arizona and Callie work on a patient together, and practice using their “I feel” statements. However, their “polite” bickering makes Jo and Meredith uncomfortable. When Arizona overrides Callie’s recommendation about a child’s surgery, Callie says, “Fine, cut into the kid’s leg.” This sends a flood of memories back of Arizona’s injury and her long road to recovery.

Therapy, sometime later: “It’s not about the leg,” Arizona tells Callie and the therapist, “It was never about the leg.” For Arizona, their troubles started way before that. Back all the way to when she got the grant to go to Africa and Callie was supposed to come along. Arizona felt that she gave up a dream to come back and be with Callie, and when she did come back, Callie was already pregnant. Callie turns to the therapist and explains her bisexuality, which she claims makes Arizona uncomfortable. For Arizona, she felt like she didn’t have any time to figure things out because she was just so damn much in love with Callie. She jumped into an instant family because she didn’t want to lose Callie. Callie assumes this means that Arizona feels like she was stuck with Sofia, a comment which horrifies Arizona: “Don’t you ever say that I don’t love my child, or that I regret my child.” For Arizona, it goes back to her feelings that ultimately, Callie wields the power in the relationship. Arizona can’t make a decision for herself without feeling like a terrible, selfish person. Callie turns cold and brings up Arizona’s infidelity, which was indeed a decision that Arizona made. Walked right into that, Arizona sweetheart. Ugh, you two! For two women in a relationship, you are terrible at processing. Callie decides to end the session, right then and there.

Back at the hospital, Callie is arguing with Jackson and Owen, who want to use a big part of her research budget to perform a reconstructive surgery on a patient. Owen can tell that Callie’s upset about something other than the request, and sits down to hear her out. “I just keep giving and giving and giving,” she says.

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Aaaaaaand we are back in therapy. It’s the same conversation. Callie reminds Arizona that’s she’s done everything that she’s asked of her. She stayed after the crash and the cheating. “I do everything for you, Arizona, because I love you.” Love has never been the issue between these two, and that’s why is can be so difficult to watch them struggle. The therapist is all of us, and tells the couple that they aren’t getting anywhere. Time to reset this puppy. She suggests that the two of them spend some time apart. Callie is resistant to the idea, but the therapist points out that they are vastly different souls than they were when they first fell in love. She tells them that couples often seek out therapy to either save their relationship, or for one person to gather the courage to end it. That though makes Callie tense up, especially when Arizona shows some hesitancy. Arizona ultimately agrees with the therapist and requests a thirty day break. Originally, she wanted a much longer one but doesn’t think Callie would go for it. Callie can’t believe this is all happening. She compares it to a reality show, “The Real Lesbian Housewives MD of Seattle” which, I think we can all agree, we’d be obsessed with. That means no talking, no spending time together, and no intimacy. (Together or with anyone else.)

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