But no matter how many times Shane hints that he knows Lewis’ secret, the man insists that these aren’t the abs Shane is looking for. Shane (like a fucking out of line, mean idiot) tries to pull down Lewis’ pants to reveal a tattoo which will prove him right, and for that he gets body-slammed to the mat. How many times will Shane have to out people before he will learn that it’s not a good idea?
Before we leave the gym, Lauren (who was sadly wasted in this episode, but we can’t have everything) finally confesses that she likes Theo, and adorably jumps on a bench to kiss him.
STEP UP 5: LITERALLY STEP UP
Theo, however, gets spooked and runs off, indicating that he has a secret of his own that is keeping them apart. I’m hoping it’s that he is an undercover cop, since that would make him go away. Because here’s the thing: as much as his presence is a tiny baby step in the direction of solving this show’s diversity problem, I find Theo pretty charmless. So, yeah, cop would be good.
Because Amy is no quitter, she sets up the last station of the scavenger hunt, complete with twinkle lights. (In TV, twinkle lights are code for the person who wet them up being your one true love.) Under these lights are two dollhouses, which Amy probably made herself in Queer Woodshop 101 and glued together with her own tears. Amy tells Karma that she still wants to grow old living next door to each other, and she just has to come to terms with the fact that there will be other people living there too. In that spirit, she invites Liam Booker to join them in the courtyard and gives them her official blessing to be together.
I WILL TRY AND TOLERATE YOUR LOVE EVEN THOUGH IT IS GROSS AND AGAINST THE BIBLE.
Then Amy runs away and Karma and Liam kiss. I want the best for Karma, I do. But I don’t—and maybe this is my own arbitrary prejudice talking—think the best is Liam. Even when he’s written to be sincere and winning, it always seems like he has one eye in the mirror.
Afterwards, Karma goes over to Amy’s house to reassure her that their friendship is still strong. And I really like this scene, but the stage directions should have said, “AMY’S VOICE IS CRACKED AND HER EYES ARE RED. SHE HAS CLEARLY BEEN CRY-SINGING FOR THE PAST HALF HOUR.” Instead, Amy gives Karma her birthday present, which are matching best friend necklaces, whose very design needs no further commentary.
I AM BROKEN WITHOUT YOU. I AM BROKEN WITH YOU.
“If you love something, let it go,” is not advice I have ever found it particularly easy to take, but I think Karma and Amy both need a good dose of it right now. I’m jus curious what it’s going to look like now that it’s Karma’s turn to let go.
Oh and lest we end things on too heavy a note, we return once more the MMA gym, where Shane apologizes to Louis for barking up the wrong pair of tree-like legs. But Louis confirms that he is in fact, gay, but closeted. Shane is like “I am not trying to date some closeted guy” and Louis is like “I am not trying to do anything but give you a blowjob in this parking lot.”
I am so grateful to be living in this moment where we can see gay love, and affection, and lust on television. I feel the palpable joy when I watch this show and How to Get Away With Murder, which revel in showing their gay men having good sex and lots of it. Good for you, boys. Just don’t forget to share the wealth.