New CBS series “Stalker” puts lesbian brides in jeopardy

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If you’ve been watching Stalker, the new CBS series about–well, duh–you might have tuned in for the latest episode and had a somewhat pleasant surprise. The series about chasing down stalkers starring Maggie Q and Dylan McDermott started with a lovely lesbian wedding.

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The bride wore white, the other bride wore white. The proud father walked his betrothed daughter down the aisle. Everyone was all smiles. There were some clearly lesbian best men beaming in the background.

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And then things went from lovely to oh, shit–not again. Because a shot rang out and Bride No. 1 went down with a bullet to the head.

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Chalk up another dead lesbian on the big board of Dead TV Lesbian/Bisexual Characters, right? She can join Sara Lance, Leslie Shay and Tara Thornton as this year’s newest inductees, right?

But wait, not so fast. She’s not entirely dead; she is in a coma. Yeah, you can tell it’s been a bad year for queer female characters when a girlfriend in a coma is good news.

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The episode offers up an ex-boyfriend of the injured bride as a red herring. Was he driven to murder by the terrible shame of being left by his girlfriend for a woman? Nah, but that would be pretty bad for some dude, amirite? Actually, he got therapy and is better with it now. I think. This really isn’t the best show.

In the end, the two brides end up being fairly peripheral to the plot. The coma bride’s cop father was the real target. One of the officers he fired was seeking revenge on all of the people closest to him. But Maggie and Dylan (I could look up their character names, but what’s the point), catch him before he could kill again.

The father and his almost daughter-in-law stand over her with the coma girlfriend while discussing the wedding they still have to have. Considering earlier the girlfriend had told the father she knew she wasn’t what he had hoped for his daughter, this is progress. They hug and everything. Also, coma girlfriend’s prognosis has been upgraded to “hopeful.” So save that fancy white jumpsuit, lady.

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All in all, it’s not the very worst queer female representation we’ve seen all year. But also not the best. For lesbian bonus points, Elisabeth Rohm stars on the show as an assistant deputy attorney. If you know your lesbian TV history you’ll remember her as ADA Serena Southerlyn from Law & Order, a.k.a. the character who came out by asking if she was fired for being a lesbian. Too bad she’s busy being stalked by Dylan’s character. Yes, he is a detective in the stalker unit who is also a stalker. It’s that kind of show.

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