“Once Upon A Time” recap (4.3): We All Scream for Ice Cream

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In the mayor’s office, Regina tells Robin that she can tell the magic is creeping toward Marian’s heart, and that she has an idea, but it would require his trust. She tells him that her plan is something “drastic” and definitely not something that was done about once an episode for two full seasons, nor something that was ever done to her with his complete knowledge.

Over at the ice cream shop, Emma, David and Will break in. They find everything supernaturally frozen over and realize exactly who they’re looking for. Will takes their moment of wonderment as a chance to clean out the cash register and flee. Emma tries to go after him, but the only trace of him is his voice floating back from a distance singing, “Being a plot device never bothered me anyway.”

Emma starts to freak out and David asks what’s wrong with her and she confesses that she can’t get Regina out of her head. Again, still, who knows anymore. She’s worried about not being able to save anyone, but David tells her to just have faith.

OUAT 403-8 Better advice would have been, make up with Regina.

In the woods, Hook complains that they have to follow the two things he dislikes most: snow and magic. Elsa says that snow isn’t bad, and that he obviously doesn’t hate magic too much since he’s got googly eyes for Emma. He tries to deny it, but she tells him to try to see around his giant ego and realizes that it’s not about him, but about Emma, which she knows because she and Emma have a lot in common.

Flash back to Elsa and Kristoff finding the urn that can contain magical beings. Elsa does the only logical thing you would do to something that is specifically designed to hurt you and PICKS IT UP. Before Kristoff can convince her to destroy it, Hans and his brothers show up. Eventually Hans gets Kristoff at swordpoint and Elsa decides to relinquish the urn to spare him.

In present-day Storybrooke forest, Hook and Elsa find Madame Scoops making magic in the woods. Hook pulls out a cell phone and pushes the Emma button, but gets no answer, so he leaves a message. Elsa keeps almost getting caught by Madame Scoops because she’s like a baby gay in her first lesbian bar, standing so close to someone so much like her.

Flash back to Elsa in the cave, telling Kristoff to save Arendelle, to save Anna, once she’s in the urn. Hans soliloquies about Elsa being a monster while he opens the urn, but the trail of silver goo he thought was going to encase Elsa ends up taking a form of its own. Then Madame Scoops appears, boobs first.

OUAT 403-9You were right, ma’am, two scoops of…ice cream…has me feeling better already.

Madame Scoops freezes Hans and his brothers run for the hills. Elsa is surprised this strange woman saved her, but she says that no one should be trapped in the urn. She asks about Kristoff, but Elsa declares him a friend and spares him.

Present-day Hook and Elsa start to sneak off, but Madame Scoops has other plans. She freezes Hook to his spot and tells Elsa they have to catch up, even though Elsa has no memory of her. Scoops tells her that the rock trolls removed some of her memories, claiming they were too painful for her to keep. She also claims Anna grew to fear Elsa, and it was in fact her own sister that banished her to that urn. Madame Scoops creates icicles above Hook’s head, and Elsa tries to stop her, but her magic has been neutralized. Scoops tells Elsa she’s doing this for her own good, to prove her friends would eventually turn on her because of her magic. To which I argue: They would turn on anyone who hurt their friends. Magically or otherwise. They would NOT turn on someone just because they had magic (since mostly everyone in Storybrooke does anyway) but only if they used said magic to harm someone. And even then, they’re capable of forgiveness. This is the fury of a woman scorned.

Emma runs in and interrupts by shouting, “Hey, Dairy Queen!” which is definitely her best line ever. Caught off guard, Madame Scoops says, “Emma?” with definite recognition. When Emma calls her on this, she simply claims that her reputation precedes her. When it’s clear Scoops isn’t going to come quietly, Emma magics her away from Elsa, and then saves David and Hook, who were basically just cuddling together for warmth. Emma didn’t even have to use her magic face.

Flash back to the first time Elsa met Madame Scoops, where they giggle and share stories about bringing snowmen to life and making magic palaces. A portrait of Elsa’s parents elicits a confession from Scoops: Elsa’s mother was her sister. Elsa says that her mother never mentioned anything about a sister, but Auntie Scoops says it was probably to spare her the pain. She was trapped in the urn long ago by people who feared magic, and just can’t wait to see her darling sister again. When Elsa says that she’s lost at sea, Auntie doesn’t skip a beat, but instead tries to sympathize about as well as any sociopath mimicking human emotions. Somehow comforted by this woman who not only is claiming to be her aunt with not even so much as anecdotal evidence, but who also HASN’T TOLD ANYONE HER NAME YET, Elsa confesses that she’s worried about her sister, Anna. Auntie Scoops promises that she’ll help.

OUAT 403-10“If she’s on an island, I’ve got this covered.”

Present-day Emma doesn’t buy Scoops’ line about her reputation, and thinks there must be more to the story. She scolds Hook for not listening to her when she said to stay put, then checks on Elsa, promising to help her find Anna. Emma then calls Scoops the “Snow Queen” though what we think she’s the ruler of, I do not know. Emma points out that Elsa came back from the past with her via time portal, but Scoops was already here; and likely not from one of Regina’s curses.

In the mayor’s office, Hood tells Regina that he still loves her, right there in front of his frozen, dying wife. Henry shows up with a box from Regina’s vault, and Regina goes ahead and removes Marian’s heart. Though why Regina waits for the box to remove the heart, since time was of the essence, is beyond me. Didn’t she bury her own heart in the ground once?

Outside Granny’s diner, Hook tries to hit on Emma, but she’s, and I quote, “not in the mood for a drink or a man.” She’s about to hop into her buggy and (presumably) drive off to be with Regina, but Captain Guyliner sinks his hook into her (quite literally) and they kiss in the middle of the street.

Madame Scoops is still wandering around the forest when she runs into Rumpelstiltskin, who asks her if Emma remembered her, and if Scoops is ready to ask for his help. She assures him that she’ll reach out when she’s ready to make a deal, and he says he’ll be waiting by oh so patiently for that moment to come.

OUAT 403-11 I hope Team Charming takes their time solving this one…I like her face.

Next week, Anna and Rumpelstiltskin go head to head, also Hook might get his hand back? Though I’d rather have Ruby back, if we’re going to be returning lost things.

What did you think of “Rocky Road?”

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