Wine. Crudité. Cheese plate? Alicia nervously prepares a spread in anticipation of a guest. To bide her time, she turns on the tube where a very Walking Deadish, True Detective-like program is playing, followed by its discussion show, Talking Noon. (You have to love the writers at The Good Wife for paying homage, and perhaps poking a little fun of these shows especially since The Walking Dead‘s premiere was last night at the same time as The Good Wife.)
Alicia’s guest turns out to be Eli, who is impressed by her set up. They share a bottle of wine as they sit down to discuss their action plan. If Alicia chooses to run for State’s Attorney, she only has four days to decide before the announcement. He tells “St. Alicia,” the nickname he has bestowed upon her, that if she were to run today, she would win by eight points. Alicia tends to be too rational for such fantasies however, and prefers to focus on the long run. “Good news tends not to last,” she cautions him. When there’s a knock at the door, Eli casually mentions that it’s Alicia’s new campaign manager. She freaks out a little. The campaign manager is Johnny Elfman (Broadway leading man Steven Pasquale), who unbeknownst to Alicia, is reluctant to work with her and feels duped by Eli. Eli asks him to give Alicia the same courtesy that he asked of Alicia.
During all of this, Grace and a seemingly endless line of her classmates pour through the front door. It’s Grace’s turn to host choir, so Alicia sends them off to practice in her bedroom. As Alicia, Eli and Johnny all sit down to talk, a choir of angels (OK, sophomores) bursts into song. Johnny brusquely asks Alicia why she wants to run. She doesn’t like his tone, and neither do I, so she schools him, and asks if she has an issue with her. Johnny only wants to stand behind winners, and he’s not so sure about St. Alicia. “I’m not your superhero,” she calmly tells both men before politely dismissing Johnny. Just then, she gets a call from office. Lemond Bishop has been subpoenaed about his business dealings, a development which Cary thinks it’s about trying to derail his own trial. In all of this, Grace’s wacky former tutor Jennifer shows up in an angel/fairy costume, like you do, and joins up with Grace’s crew.
Eli calls Peter to fill him in of what’s happening and Peter asks if he’s shown Alicia the opposition research yet. Eli has conveniently held on to that. He also gets a little jealous when he hears that the rather hunky Johnny Elfman would be her campaign manager. When Alicia returns to the table, Johnny explains that it’s not enough to want to oust a crooked politician from office; she also needs a positive reason for wanting to run. Then he and Eli present her with big fat folder full of secrets. Even Alicia Florrick has skeletons in her closet.
First they tackle Alicia’s clients: Sweeney, the Paisley Group and Lemond Bishop. Johnny advised her to drop Bishop, and she agrees to. Next they bring up the abortion that Zack and his former girlfriend Nisa obtained the year before. Alicia looks like she was hit by an emotional freight train. She’s completely shocked. Eli knew and apparently so did Nisa’s parents, who accompanied the teens to the clinic.
She immediately calls Peter, who was unaware as well. She’s furious with her son for lying to her and even threatens cutting him off. When Peter offers to deal with it, Alicia refused: “This one’s mine.” She calls Zach but gets his voicemail. She asks him to call her back.
Now Peter calls Eli, and asks him not to bring up the intern. Alicia, recovering from that unexpected development, wants to continue Next up is her brother Owen, who is apparently having an affair with a married man who does gay bareback porn. Well, that is also news to Alicia. Eli is worried it may cause a division in the gay community. He advises that she convince Owen to lay low for a bit. On to Alicia’s mother Veronica, who unbeknownst to Alicia, hit a child in a department store. Yes, Veronica spanked a stranger’s child. Oh, and it’s all on video. The men suggest that Veronica apologize to the child’s family. The only one Alicia doesn’t have to worry about for now is Grace, who is blessedly skeleton-free. Alicia, the atheist is urged to soften her stance to an agnostic who’s struggling.
Next up is a photo of Alicia and Will from a few years back, at a hotel. She says that they were researching a case, nothing more. There is also a picture of Finn leaving her house early in the morning. “Isn’t it lovely how your whole life gets documented,” Alicia declares through gritted teeth. The Finn thing was completely professional and she will ask him to back her up. Eli has something else, but hesitates with info about Peter. Alicia brings up his dalliance with Kalinda. Guess who’s surprised now! “Well this was fun,” Alicia tells the men. Although Johnny was reluctant at the start, he’s impressed at how she handled everything. In fact, she probably handled it better than anyone else he’s worked with. That’s because she’s Alicia Fucking Florrick, Johnny.
The next day at the office, Alicia, Cary and Diane meet with Lemond Bishop to inform him that they can no longer represent him. They are cagey with the reasoning, but they worry that it will be a conflict of interest considering they are defending Cary. They slide Bishop a list of firms willing to take him on, but he refuses. This break up is not going as planned.
In the world’s most awkward diner booth, Eli sits across from Kalinda. He asks about her affair with Peter and she admits it. He tells her about Alicia’s possible run for State’s Attorney, and she promises that her lips are sealed.
Alicia invites Owen and Veronica over for a couple glasses of wine and a talking to. She tells them that she’s likely running for State’s Attorney, and neither of them are happy about it. Veronica thinks that Alicia just needs a nice vacation. She confronts her mother about spanking the child, and informs her that there is a meeting set up with the parents to apologize. She takes Owen into the kitchen to confront him, and asks if he’s been having safe sex. Owen is perplexed, but as soon as Alicia mentions his boyfriend, he turns cold. Owen pours his wine down the sink, in the saddest moment of the episode, and wordlessly walks out of the apartment. Right then Zach calls, but Alicia is too pissed off to answer.
Eli finally gets the word he’s been waiting on for months. Peter tells him it’s OK to fire the intern Lauren, as long as he can get her a job in the senate. Eli tells his secretary who is thrilled, and Eli heads off to fire Lauren with glee.
Finn and Alicia meet up at a bar, where she gives him the scoop on her situation. He says that of course he will tell the truth, that they were doing some witness prep. He somehow makes “witness prepping” sound kind of flirtatious. They both agree that friendship is tough when you are standing on opposite sides of the courtroom, and a man’s life is in your hands. Finn gives her a much-appreciated tip: Castro will try to hit her where she’s vulnerable. He knows this because it came straight from the horse’s mouth.
It doesn’t take long for that caution to become relevant when she gets pulled over after their meeting. She’s only had one glass of wine, and she knows the cop was sent after her on purpose when he calls her Mrs. Florrick. The cop makes Alicia do the humiliating road test, even as she repeatedly agrees to a Breathalyzer. Cars drive past, taking pictures of her. When she passes her Breathalyzer, the cop has to let her go. She immediately calls Eli to let him know that she’s been set up.
As Kalinda walks to her car in the dark, she finds Bishop waiting for her. He makes her sit in his car and grills her about why Florrick Agos is dropping him. She spills the beans about Alicia’s possible campaign.
Alicia and Veronica meet with the little boy and his mother to apologize for the spanking incident. The mother demands fifty thousand dollars for her silence. When Veronica balks, the mother threatens to sue her. “I should have spanked you instead you bitch,” Veronica calls out after her.
Grace and Jennifer are busy making Youtube videos when they stumble upon a website and call Alicia over. It’s a website raising money for Alicia’s campaign. She calls Eli and Johnny, both of whom deny creating the site. It’s been started by a PAC, and already raking in the dough.
When Eli thinks that intern Lauren is back in the Governor’s office, he storms in to find Peter talking with an attractive blonde woman named Ramona Lytton. She happens to be Lauren’s mom, and a longtime family friend of Peter’s. He never told Eli that because he was trying to do the family a favor.
When the mother and child come back to the office to meet again with Alicia, she shows them footage of the little boy destroying property and purposely knocking over a little old lady. Well, that’s one problem solved. In her private office, Zach calls again and Alicia answers this time. Peter has already warned him that his mother knows about the abortion. He apologizes for lying to her, but she’s all business. She instructs him, when asked, to say that she counseled him and Nisa to have the baby, and they chose not to. She then asks him if he was lying about smoking pot as well. When he fumbles with his answer, she ends the conversation. “Have fun in college, Zach,” she tells him coldly before hanging up. When she sees Johnny, she announces that she’s decided to run after all. That’s great, except now they have to deal with the story that Alicia is in detox for alcohol addition. It’s all over the news, including a grainy picture of her and the cop. So much for St. Alicia.
When Alicia leaves the office, Bishop is waiting for her. He’s all smiles when he mentions finding another firm, then hands her a button. “Alicia Florrick for State’s Attorney.” It’s kind of soon for buttons, but that’s the kind of thing that a PAC would do. Oh, yeah, did he forget to mention, he’s behind the PAC? Alicia isn’t going to be able to wash away her connection to Bishop quite so easily.
