“Faking It” recap (2.3): Sexual Hulk Smash

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Previously on Faking It, Karma and Amy agreed to try and maintain their friendship while Amy tried to move on (a process sure to be made more difficult by the fact that Amy considers the two of them to be soul mates), Lauren explained her intersex condition to her minions (who are apparently leaking all this information to the school’s Tumblr), and Liam and Shane had an argument that even they couldn’t take seriously.

Sometimes pointing out a problem on a show you love is like telling a friend they have something in their teeth. You do it because you don’t want them to go around looking like an idiot and they, generally, are grateful to you for pointing it out. But sometimes, it’s more like taking a friend aside and telling them their drinking has gotten out of hand. You do it because you care, but also because your relationship is on the line. This episode is my intervention moment with Faking It. It’s a mess. But the show I fell in love with and the powerful truth it is trying to tell are still hiding in there. It’s like a fortune cookie, but the cookie part is gross and made of offensive racial stereotypes. So…kind of just like a regular fortune cookie, I guess.

This week, Amy and Karma decide that the time is right to break up (I know we all had a good time with the term “consciously uncoupling” but it’s time to let it die) Hester High’s most beloved lesbian couple. They have prepared a reworking of “Don’t Cry For Me, Argentina” and set up a crisis hotline for all those affected by this tragedy. They will not, of course, be informing the student body that their lesbianism was all for show, but when the time is right, Karma plans to quietly return to Liam Booker’s freakishly overdeveloped pectorals. She also can’t wait to make Amy a successful lesbian so they never have to think about their sweet lady kisses ever again.

fakingit3.1I AIN’T NO COMPUTER, SO QUIT REDUCING ME TO BINARIES.

Shane also thinks that the best cure for Liam’s doldrums and his own blue balls after going through a whole sexless week while dating Pablo is hot rebound action, since “the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.”

fakingit3.2 SHANE, WE’RE ALL WORRIED ABOUT YOUR PATTERN-MIXING.

I’ve had that line tossed at me a couple of times by friends anxious to get me out of my pajamas and into a bar, and it can certainly sound true. Certainly developing feelings for someone new is a good way to remind yourself that your heart is not permanently broken, but that’s not the same thing as throwing yourself into sex with any old person with a pulse.

fakingit3.3 OR JUST ANY OLD PERSON, IF YOU’RE MY DAD.

Succor for everyone’s libidos arrives in the form of a busload of Brazilian refugees, who barely escaped a sinkhole that destroyed their entire school.

fakingit3.4 IT GOT MOST OF MY JEANS, TOO.

Oy vey with this storyline.  Let’s just list the problems, real quick:

1. We have the stereotypical depiction of Brazilians as a race of hyper-sexual aliens blessed with preternatural beauty and sense of rhythm. This is no more acceptable than “all Asians are good at math” or “all people named Elaine are fantastic kissers.”

2. Aside from these stereotypes, the Brazilians are utterly bereft of personality traits. All they know how to do is slather their bodies in oil and thrust themselves at other teenagers.

Even if these lusty youths did have something to say, they would be unable to express it, since they only speak Portuguese. Luckily, Principal Penelope informs Karma that she, Karma, just so happens to speak this beautiful but relatively obscure language. And even Katie Stevens looks like: “I do?”

fakingit3.5WELL THAT SEEMS IMPLAUSIBLE.

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