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“Transparent” recap (1.3): Rollin

Things have been moving fast for the Pfeffermans. Maura is moving out of the big midcentury modern house in the hills to shack up at the hip Shangri-La. With any hope, she’ll get the guts to come out to Josh and then Ali. Sarah is busying herself by helping Maura pack up-it’s the least she can do since being home would mean commiserating about Tammy around Len. Up to something, as usual, Ali is planning a sexy drug-fueled threesome with her personal trainer boy toy and his roommate, so she meets up with her bud Syd (Carrie Brownstein) to get the drugs for her “sex thing” and explain what “spit roasting” is. Josh can’t get a hold of Kaya-maybe it had something to do with the Holocaust ring. I’d say this episode is off to a smashing start. Must be the mercury retrograde stirring things up.

I hope Syd still makes it out to Joshua Tree. She deserves it.

Transparent presses a big restart in this episode button. I like that. The first two episodes paid their respects for what’s become so habitual and current in the Pfefferman’s lives. In the eye of this beautiful storm there is Maura, transitioning into the real her self, finally-and there’s her kids, too-transforming into something else, or maybe just the real them as well. As Maura packs up the few belongings she can’t part ways with and leaves the rest behind, Sarah’s anxiousness to seal the deal with Tammy is reaching new highs. Message after message, she’s grasping at straws to get Tammy to show signs that she’s going to tell Barb about their secret romance, a romance. But the more I digest this episode, the more I question Tammy’s real feelings. Still, I feel for Sarah and I get all this boiling passion pouring out of her. She tells Maura about how in love she is-how she and Tammy text each other mundane things that make it all so exciting.

Sarah: Now we’re just connecting every second. I cannot stop texting her. It’s like, “What are you doing?” “Eating a sandwich?” “How is it?” “It’s amazing.” You know, the thing that you do when you’re falling in love. Maura: No, not really.
Josh shows up at the house expecting to find his dad there, but it’s clear that Maura has chickened out on coming out to Josh by retreating to the bedroom to change back into Mort clothes. Josh is mostly there because Sarah opened up a can of worms, rather, a box of cereal. It seems Josh has a stash of old letters and photos left over from the inappropriate relationship he had with his babysitter Rita.

Josh is all distracted because of the Kaya thing so he doesn’t think twice when he smells perfume on his dad, mistaking it for a possible lady friend’s. Josh decides to drop in on Kaya’s friend’s band practice to find out why he’s being ignored. (I’m having a minor freak-out moment because Kaya’s blonde friend is the lead singer in Cherry Glazerr, a band my girlfriend recently got me into.) She calls Josh a sad, old fellow for thinking he can just marry Kaya like some patriarchal go-to because he got her pregnant. Things just go south from there, because when Josh shows up at work, he’s told he’s off the Glitterish account at the hands of Kaya, who says she feels unsafe with him. Josh throws a tantrum and ends up throwing a conference room chair at the window. He’s then fired, “Bro.” And upon meeting up with Kaya, to discuss why she’s written him off like this, she tells him he’s basically a weirdo and treated her badly, citing this is only the second time he’s shown up at her house.

We’re treated to another flashback, and this time it’s the early ’90s and Maura is carousing the X-rated magazine selection in a store. She meets another transwoman doing the same, played by Bradley Whitford, and they introduce themselves to each other, by their dressed-up man names. When Maura leaves the store, we see the kids, younger of course-Sarah in the front seat of a station wagon, singing along to The Psychedelic Furs, which is the most IRONIC moment yet. Because the lyrics go as follows: “Inside you, the time moves and she don’t fade. The ghost in you, she don’t fade.”

Night has fallen upon the city of Los Angeles and Ali, the trainer, and his roommate are all coming on to the MDMA she scored from Syd (who’s hopefully miles away at Joshua Tree.) I do not want to see some spit roasting, but I’m really curious about how this is going to go down.

Mike: You know what you look like? A cat, a feral cat. I had a cat when I was a kid. Ali: We used to be kids!

Speaking of cats, Sarah finally lets the Tammy cat out of the bag with Len. Poor Len is like, “Let’s make an appointment,” hoping their therapist will solve another bump in the road. Sarah tells him she and Tammy shared a bed in her co-op room in college, and that she’s still in love with her. (I cannot wait for these flashbacks…!) Sarah makes a frantic, excited, breathy call to Tammy, who of course, doesn’t pick up. She tells her she did it-she left Len. She drives up to Tammy and Barb’s place to see they’re playing in the living room with their daughter Grace. If it were me, I’d be a wreck in the corner, unable to function. So I have to give Sarah props-she keeps it together and goes back to the old, big, empty house. She blows up an air mattress and fixes up her old bedroom. The girl even lights a candle. She knows how to self-soothe, and even through her tears and her disappointment, she’s going to be OK. In fact, this moment of aloneness for Sarah is kind of thrilling and unpredictable-something totally different from her PTA life. Change can be so jarring-she’s just left her husband, and she’s camping out in her childhood bedroom because Tammy won’t answer her calls. My bets are on the Pfeffermans. They’re fighters.

One thing’s clear: I’m worried about Josh’s mental state. We find him back at his place after getting officially dumped by Kaya. She’s told him she already had the abortion. He’s going through those coveted cereal boxes, fixating on the parts where he mentions marrying Rita. Is it weird? A little bit. A lot. We have to wonder what this babysitter/kid relationship was all about, and why he’s still so invested in it. Also, I’m having a light bulb flash in my brain: In the pilot, we see Josh go over to a mystery woman’s apartment after shit hits the fan with Kaya. Who was that? Rita? He begins to sob and commiserate over the letters. He really should’ve read our recent AfterEllen huddle topic, in which we talked about the things we’ve thrown away that belonged to our exes. This can’t be good…

Cut back to Ali-oh, Ali. She’s taken things up a notch, rolling around with her boys, who’ve now all discovered their pussies. So, there’s that. She decides she has the best idea of all: The guys should have sex with each other. Ali is promptly told to leave and they call her a cab. Part of me is relieved she’s out of there and part of me is sad for her because no one should get kicked out when they’re that high. Somehow, it all works out for Ali, because once more, Gaby Hoffmann can do no wrong, and she’s left in the back of a nice cabby’s car who seems pleased to partake in humbling conversation. This man drives all the way to Costco to buy chocolates for his cab riders!

Ali is so taken with this moment that she announces she feels as if she’s in the womb. Something tells me she has no idea how wild her womb-like trip is about to feel. She ends up back at her apartment building, dripping fountain water down her face, staring up at the streaming lights, when suddenly her phone rings. She can almost make it out, it reads: Daddy. Her gap-toothed smile widens and she answers, her eyes huge. “You wanna come visit me? Yes, now would be a perfect time!” Ali’s high on MDMA and Maura is about to come out to the baby of the family. A new womb is about to form.

Hooked yet? I know I am! Follow me on Twitter where I relay my musings and episode recaps daily. #TransparentTV

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