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“Chasing Life” recap (1.9): Future Tense

Previously on Chasing Life, Greer went with Brenna to meet her terrible sister in Miami, Brenna told Beth and Kieran she wasn’t into labels, whether it be to her sexuality or to her relationship status, and April said goodbye to Dom and hello to Leo before finding out she might have to say goodbye to Leo, too.

In the Carver kitchen, Sara is trying to get more information about Brenna’s Eco Club trip but Brenna is being a typical vague teenager. At least, that’s what Sara thinks. When really Brenna just doesn’t know how to breach this whole Natalie thing yet. Sara says she thinks this Greer sounds like a nice girl and wants to meet her once and for all. All Sara really knows about Greer is that she cares about the environment, but considering that trait has the word “cares” in it, she’s already worlds above Ford in Sara’s book, so she invites Greer over for dinner. After all, she’s encouraging Brenna to try new things. This makes Brenna almost choke on her coffee because she can list a few new things she’d like to try with Greer that can’t be shared at the family table. April comes down and everyone makes egg jokes because it’s breakfast and April’s on her way to get her eggs frozen before she starts chemo. Despite that, she wants these last two days of freedom to be normal as humanly possible.

Sara goes with April to the fertility doctor and offers to throw her a pre-chemo party, and April smiles and thanks her. Being at the fertility doctor makes Sara recount the story of April’s birth, how she was nine days late, and how she loved being pregnant. It’s told with a lot more fondness than when my mother tells her labor story. April tells her mother she’s going to be a great grandmother someday…but like, five years from now someday. So calm down.

At the coffee shop, Brenna is catching Kieran up on the Eco Trip, and he says it sounds like a terrible time. He invites her to a concert, but she doesn’t want to commit because April will be in the hospital then. He sort of chuckles and says that April’s cancer is cramping his style and Brenna and I make unpleasant facial expressions; hers is more like general disbelief at his insensitivity and mine was abject horror. He sees his mistake reflected in her eyes and apologizing, asking if she’s free tonight instead. She says she’s hanging out with Greer and decides it’s time to come clean. She lays it all out on the table: She likes him, but she likes someone else, too. And despite her practically JUST telling him who it was, heteronormativity wins out again and Kieran says, “Who is he?”

Brenna says it’s Greer, which Kieran kind of stumbles with for a minute before asking if Brenna has been using him as a beard because she’s afraid to admit she’s a lesbian. Brenna says that’s not what it is, and that she isn’t into labels, and Greer knows that. Kieran, still having a hard time with this truth bomb, demands to know if she’s gone further with Greer than she has with Kieran. Brenna, a teenager wise beyond her years, says it’s not a contest. She tells him that she likes both of them and was wondering if maybe he would be cool if she dating both of them? Maybe walk the line between open relationships and polyamory, see where it leads? He says he can give it a try. And for a minute I think maybe I’d be okay with her dating both of them, if he could learn to be more sensitive about April’s situation. But then he says, “If I can watch sometime” and Brenna tells him to shut up and I am 100% done with Kieran. (Or so I thought. Spoiler alert, somehow got MORE done with him.)

After the fertility treatment, April feels real gross, but she has to go to a debate for her last assignment before her month of chemo. Beth offers to go with her as a personal assistant, which April is grateful for mostly because she really does have to go, since she wants to resolve things with Leo once and for all at this work thing. When they get to the debate, they split up, despite Beth pointing out that this sort of defeats the purpose of her coming. But April is determined to act normal, so she sends Beth to the audience and goes into the press line.

At Casa de Carver, Greer is bonding with Sara. Brenna once again watches Greer work a grown-up like some kind of snake charmer. Sara tells Greer that Brenna isn’t bad at tennis, and Greer says she learned that the hard way, sending a little wink back to that first moment of TenniS Love. Sara is impressed with Greer’s presidencies, hobbies, and sense of humor and tells Brenna she’s a keeper. The doorbell rings and Brenna goes to get what she thinks is the food, leaving Greer and Sara alone for a moment. Greer had offered to pay, since her parents left her money when they went Out of Town, but Sara wouldn’t accept. Sara asks how often her parents are gone, and Greer tells her they’re only gone a few days this time, though they’re not around a lot. (Though she says it all with her classic dimpled smile.) Sara tells Greer she should spend the night, and Greer smiles a mischievous smile, because it’s suddenly very clear that Sara has no idea they’re dating. It wasn’t food at the door, just Ford. Apparently some teenagers still show up at each other’s houses without texting first. Brenna tells her Greer is over and Ford makes me like her for a fraction of a second when she says, “Are the dolphins okay?” with her voice dripping in sarcasm. Brenna tells Ford to get over herself and join them for dinner; she thinks they could like each other if they tried. The trick will be getting Ford to try.

Behind the scenes of the debate, Leo is talking about his father’s campaign when he starts having irregular speech patterns. Everyone looks at him like he’s being a brat, but April looks worried. Finally everyone starts to realize there’s actually something wrong and they call an ambulance. Beth hears the ambulance from the audience and freaks the freak out and runs backstage. She sees April is fine, but April’s afraid Leo isn’t. Leo’s speech is back to normal but his parents insist on taking him to the hospital. Leo’s father’s publicist won’t let him leave the debate, but Leo waves him off and says it’s fine.

At dinner, Greer and Uncle George are talking about Nicaragua, and Ford looks like she wants Greer to fall into one of the volcanos she’s talking about. Greer says her next trip is to Guatemala and says maybe Brenna could come with. Ford snaps at Greer and very rudely says that they don’t like to go places where the main attraction is poor people, which is a horrible thing to say in the first place, made worse by her grouping Brenna into it. But Brenna says it actually sounds interesting. And is hopefully realizing that Ford is the actual worst.

And Ford’s like, “Crap, I think she’s in love.”

Ford, totally over everyone fawning over Greer in a way no parent ever fawned over her, starts to clean up, saying that SHE knows where everything is already. Basically peeing all over everything to remind Greer who was here first. Brenna looks understandably uncomfortable.

At the debate, Leo’s dad is talking about the future of the children but has to stop mid-sentence; before he can focus on the children of Boston (Massachusetts? I don’t remember/care what he’s running for) he needs to focus on his own child. April and Beth look equal parts sad, scared, and moved.

April’s bitchy boss Raquel is storming around the bathroom like a Pretty Little Liar looking for a snooper when Beth comes in, crying. Raquel asks if she was close with Leo, and Beth says she knew him but that’s not why she’s crying. She’s crying because her best friend is sick, too. Raquel, surprisingly, offers Beth a tissue and listens quietly while Beth has the breakdown she’s been fighting against for weeks now. Beth says she’s scared all the time. She used to be excited when April calls, but now every time she sees her friend’s name on the Caller ID, she assumes the worst. (Which is what I think any time anyone calls me. I have trained my parents to never call out of the blue. They know to text me and say “Call me when you can. No one died.”) Beth admits that she’s been keeping it together for her friend’s sake, but the thought of losing her best friend makes her feel like her heart is being slowly and painfully torn out of her chest by a giant magnet. She’s not sure she’d survive losing her best friend.

Beth tears hurt. They hurt real bad.

Raquel sees all this human emotion splashing all over the bathroom and does her best to avoid getting any of it on her. She then says the single most revealing thing about her character so far. She says, “Be your own best friend.” This, this breakdown Beth is having, this very feeling Beth is describing, is why Raquel is the way she is. She never lets anyone get close enough to hurt her. She leaves Beth to her breakdown, but later sees Beth hug April and suddenly, she knows.

April goes to the hospital to visit Leo and begs him to have the surgery, but Leo says that she doesn’t get to have a say over his body. And if that’s all she’s going to talk about, he doesn’t need that. April tells him that she’s about to spend a month actively fighting for her life, she can’t just watch him give up. She says goodbye, and they go their separate ways.

Before she can get out of the hospital, she runs into her doctor, who shows her what kind of room she’ll be living in for her month of chemo, gives her some advice on what to pack, and tells her that some people shave their head before they come to get a head start. April looks a little overwhelmed, but takes it all in.

Back at the Carver house, Bara knocks on Brenna’s door, but the music is too loud to hear it, so Sara lets herself in. And catches Breer and Grenna full-on making out, sprawled on the bed.

She closes the door quickly and hears the music shut off. She knocks again and this time, when she enters, they’re sitting on the bed, a solid foot apart, looking supremely and adorably guilty. Sara tells Greer that she should probably go downstairs and sleep on the couch, and tries to soften the request by talking about a blanket she can use, and Greer is probably feeling a mix of panic and embarrassment and relief that she didn’t just get kicked out of the house and that Sara isn’t yelling, so she rambles a bit, says goodnight, and RUNS downstairs. RUNS.

Sara sits next to Brenna and her eyes dart around the room maniacally, looking anywhere but at her mother, probably trying to melt like Alex Mack. Brenna begs her mother not to make this a thing, but Sara says she just wants to talk about it. She asks if she’s always had feelings for girls, but Brenna says she doesn’t know, this is the first time she’s noticed it. Sara asks if this means she broke up with Kieran, and Brenna says no, she’s seeing them both. Sara nods and says, “Hearts are tender.” That’s it! That’s her takeaway from this. Don’t hurt anyone. Not Kieran, not Greer, not herself. That’s all she cares about. Sara for the win!

Brenna lets all the built-up pressure from that terrifying real-talk with mom out into a pillow.

The next day, at work, April notices everyone being eerily nice. She is rightly suspicious, and realizes that the awkwardness is because they all found out she was sick. When she goes into Raquel’s office, she’s spouting off about how inconvenient this “vacation” April is taking is, and April asks her if she knows she’s sick. Raquel says yes but leaves it at that.

When Beth shows up to take April to lunch, she tells her best friend that her coworkers all know. Beth confesses that it was her, because she hadn’t known Raquel was one of her coworkers. April is not pleased, and feels like she’s been outed to her office against her will. Beth offers to do anything to make it up to her, but April says what’s done is done and storms off.

At school, Ford comes up to Greer and says hi, and Greer smiles and says that maybe there will be a day without war after all. Ford asks how Greer “turned” Brenna and Greer asks if she knows that’s now how gay works, but in a sweet careful way as if it’s entirely possible Ford thinks that’s how gay works. Greer isn’t fazed though, and says that she thinks they can be friends. Despite the fact that Ford has literally never been nice to her, despite the fact that she got drunk and threw up at her party while wearing her mother’s wedding dress, despite the fact that she was blatantly rude to her at Brenna’s house, Grenna tells Ford that she wants to be friends. For Brenna. Ford, selfishly, does not.

YOU DON’T DESERVE HER FRIENDSHIP ANYWAY, FORD.

When April is leaving work for her month of leave, Raquel accuses her of stealing a stapler, and April thanks her for not treating her different just because she’s sick. Raquel dishes some of her classic bitchiness and April almost looks grateful for it this time. She leaves her office, with one final glance back at this new life she was supposed to be starting.

At the Pre-Chemo Party, Sara is using puff paint to make a t-shirt, Brenna and Greer and doing arts and crafts, and Ford is skulking. Kieran shows up because he still feels bad about that stupid cancer joke he made, and Brenna tells him that she didn’t invite him to the party because she didn’t think it was his thing, and also Greer is here. Kieran, trying out this whole maturity thing Brenna exudes, says that he’s okay with Greer being there if Brenna doesn’t mind them both being in the same places. So Brenna lets him in.

When April comes home, she sees that her family has everything covered: new clothes, paper flowers, a photo album, a packed back, and a water gun, for annoying nurses. All she has to worry about tonight is having fun. To kick it off, Greer grabs the water gun and chases Brenna around the house with it.

Ford and Kieran watch this adorableness unfold and she asks him if he’s okay with the fact that they are cuter together than any other two humans in this entire fictional universe could hope to be. Kieran said he thought he was, but now he’s having second thoughts.

April makes up with Beth, telling her that she’s learning to see the good through the bad. Beth is grateful for April’s forgiveness, and says she has one more present for her: A bald cap. April gets a peek at what she’ll look like if she goes bald, and it isn’t half bad at all. Beth locks her arms around her and says, “We’re going to get you through this.”

Brenna goes upstairs to her room to change her wet shirt and walks in on Ford and Kieran making out on her bed. She is shocked but Ford snaps that she’s not allowed to be mad. She has a new best friend, and a new lover, so what does she care. Brenna tries to explain that she wasn’t replacing Ford with Greer, but Ford retorts that she doesn’t care that Brenna’s bi, but why did it have to be with Greer? A girl who represents sugar and spice and everything nice aka everything Ford stands against with every fiber of her being? Brenna mentions again that she’s not into labels, and Ford says she’s not into friend labels and storms off.

Kieran says he thought he was cool with this, but he doesn’t want to be just one of the people Brenna is seeing. He wants to be the only one. Greer walks in and Kieran tells her right there to choose. Brenna looks at him, appalled. She says that Greer never made her choose. Greer has been patient with her and has let her figure out things in her own time. She looks at Greer to see if she has anything to add, and Greer says what she was probably waiting for the right time to discuss with her, which is that she’s going to want a commitment if this is going to go on much further.

That makes Brenna’s decision for her, and she looks at Kieran and tells him that she’s sorry but bye. I wave and tell him not to let the door hit him in the ass on the way out. He and Ford deserve each other.

Greer takes Brenna’s hand, and I think we can all agree that Brenna made the right decision. April says goodnight to Grandma, who gives her special brownies, and then tries to call Dom for the hundredth time this episode. When she can’t get ahold of him again, she leaves him a message, telling him to read her article, and says she wish she could have told him herself, but this would have to do.

Meanwhile, Uncle George and Sara are cleaning up and reminiscing in the kitchen, and George kisses Sara before excusing himself and leaving her, looking confused and chugging wine.

She goes up to watch April sleep for a little while and crawls into bed with her for a little while. April is up long before her alarm, and as she heads to the hospital, the voiceover reads the last article April wrote. She says she sees thing differently now, because of this cancer. Cancer is a bitch, and it doesn’t care how rich you are or how loved you are. It’s like being thrown into a battle you didn’t ask to wage. But you put on your armor anyway, you fight anyway. And when you feel like you can’t fight anymore, when you feel like you couldn’t possibly muster any more strength, you see a strength in your loved ones you never knew was there, and you borrow it from them.

Dom reads the article along with the voiceover, and looks like he just got hit by the bus he’s been touring with.

What did you think of “What to Expect When You’re Expecting Chemo”?

Here are some of our favorite #ChasingLesbians tweets from this week:

Lesbian Apparel and Accessories Gay All Day sweatshirt -- AE exclusive

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