“Under the Dome” recap (2.5): Mob Justice

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It’s barely even worth mentioning the way Junior had been retconned from a menacing kidnapper to a clueless but good-intentioned young man, because at this point it’s just one more drop in an ocean of stupid. This week, he hunts for Lyle and more of his mom’s dumb paintings. Accompanying him is Uncle Sam, and like the more famous Uncle Sam, he wants something. In this case, he wants to identity of the other Dome Kids, so he can kill them and bring down the Dome, because Pauline finger-painted it once. Junior guilelessly is like “Oh yeah, it’s me and Norrie and Joe. Boy I sure am glad I can trust you, Uncle Sam, even though you’ve been living as a drunk hermit for my entire life.” And that declaration of familial love makes Sam stay his hand. Really, Junior and Sam are the perfect family, because we’re expected to forgive both of them for doing awful things to Angie.

dome25.5THE FAMILY THAT PREYS TOGETHER, STAYS TOGETHER.

And what of the other two Dome kids. Well, first of all, Norrie has shot to the top of my charts for refusing to deliver her lines in anything but a sullen deadpan. That is correct reaction to these scripts, Norrie, and America will not forget it. Joe, meanwhile is developing an intense desire to kiss Melanie, which makes me hate him by association. Because, remember when I said that Phil was tied for last place as my least favorite character? You probably thought he was tied with Joe, BUT NO. Melanie Cross is quite possibly the worst thing that has ever happened to Under The Dome, and that includes that infernal cow. It’s partly the fact that the introduction of her story to the already crowded mythology further complicates an already muddled plot, but mostly I think it is the actress herself. She delivers every line with the repellent sincerity of a 15-year-old rolling on molly.

dome25.6LET’S, LIKE, MAKE OUT AND LOOK AT THE STARS.

Come on, show. You’re so good at killing off female characters. Surely you have one more in you.

She and Joe spend the entire episode testing her blood to see if it’s different from normal human blood, which might be a good idea if EITHER OF THEM WERE SCIENTISTS.

Anyway, in the aftermath of the food bank explosion, Carolyn goes poking around the scene of the crime. There she discovers that: surprise! All the food was hidden in a secret back room. And who should be guarding it but disgruntled ex-Sheriff Phil, and a couple pro-Big Jim cronies. They kidnap Carolyn, though at least the holds her own in the fight. Predictably, Barbie comes in and saves the day, rescuing Carolyn and shooting Phil. I think he lives though, which is a shame.

Well, the episode is winding down so it’s time for the writers to do what they always do and tie the episode up in a tidy little bow. First up: the food crisis. It’s not like this is an ongoing issue or something that parallels real life resource shortages, or a chance to test the limits of Chester’s Mill. Nope, it’s just another catastrophe of the week. All episode long, Julia has noticed that the local hoarder seems to be giving out food and water to everyone who needs some, so she drives over to investigate. Sure enough, the lady has a whole houseful of canned goods, enough to feed the town for months. She also has newspapers stacked up to the ceilings, in case anyone needs to wipe their ass and there isn’t a copy of the script handy.

Next up: the Big Jim/Rebecca conundrum. Rather than staging a trial which, again, could be a compelling story arc, Julia just pardons Jim and Rebecca outright. No one seems so hold any grudges over the swine flu, and they all get together for a big dinner, doubtlessly running through half their food supply in the process. But who cares? Nothing in Chester’s Mill has any consequences.

The episode ends with Rebecca, Sam, and Junior returning to the locker where Angie was killed, and discovering a tunnel beneath it that leads, if that is even possible, deeper into hell.

dome25.7LAST ONE TO THE BOTTOM IS A ROTTEN EGG!

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