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“Crossbones” recap (1.7): Beggarman

Foiled again! While seriously lacking any sort of premise outside of Lowe wanting to kill Blackbeard and everyone else wanting to kill Lowe, NBC’s Crossbones had promise. Sure, having two-time Academy Award nominee John Malkovich was great and all, but by “promise,” I of course mean their having a ruthlessly headstrong lesbian pirate.

In their final three episodes, seems the powers that be might have picked up what I was putting down, seeing that said fierce pirate, Nenna, monopolized the entire episode. We were also finally afforded the opportunity to see Blackbeard with a black beard, finally giving legitimacy to the show’s title.

While strolling through the island, Lowe is approached by one of the brothel workers, Nelly (Marisé Alvarez), who asks him to follow her back to his quarters. Once there, Nelly explains that Rose is missing and that Rose had mentioned someone on the island wishing her ill. She tells him that Rose had given her a letter to give to the Commodore should something happen to her. Seeing that The Commodore is incapacitated after having a hole drilled in his head in last weeks episode, Nelly gives the letter to Lowe. “Damn, it’s Nenna,” he says, identifying Nenna as the threat.

Lowe looks out the window to see Nenna staring up at him. So much for her mourning the loss of her ladylove. “She knows,” he says, “I can’t think of a worse enemy to make on this island than Nenna.”

Lowe, Nelly and Fletch go down to the market where Nenna is waiting. She accuses Lowe of stealing from her. Lowe offers that three of them won’t say anything about the letter’s existence as long as they all stay safe. If Nenna tries to harm any of them, the letter will go to the Commodore, and she will hang. Nenna refuses saying, “I won’t be in your debt, Tom,” to which he responds, “This isn’t a debt; we’re in check.” Nenna explains that she doesn’t play chess. Lowe offers to teach her. “I didn’t say I can’t play chess, I said I don’t,” she hisses before going on to threaten to kill them all unless he gives her what she wants. Lowe dares her to try before the trio scatters.

Nenna follows Lowe into a forest where he digs a hole in the sand and puts a box into it. Once gone, Nenna digs it up and finds a note inside that says, “You’re looking in the wrong place.” She rushes off in another direction while Lowe returns to the box, puts the real letter in it and buries the box again.

Nenna then goes to see James, implicating Lowe in Rose’s disappearance. While The Commodore is still unconscious, she then sneaks into his throne room and steals jewels from one of his treasure boxes.

Lowe, Nelly and Fletch have regrouped at Rose’s place, Lowe explaining that he plans to create a crime scene and needs evidence that will implicate Nenna in Rose’s disappearance. Asking for something that is obviously Rose’s, Nelly gives him a necklace. He cuts his own hand and bloodies the rose necklace. He then gives Fletch and Nelly guns, instructing them to not hesitate to use them should Nenna come after them. He goes to Nenna’s beach house to plant the evidence just as Nenna shows up unexpectedly with her newly acquired treasure. Lowe hides under the floorboards.

James tells Charles that he thinks Nenna is in trouble. Charles goes to warn Nenna and finds that her quarters have been tossed, there is blood everywhere and her severed finger is lying on the floor.

Lowe returns to the market to find a mob waiting for him. Charles asks where “she” is. When Lowe asks to which “she” he is referring, Charles shows him the severed finger. Lowe laughs saying, “That’s very good. That’s outstanding. That’s commitment.” Lowe explains that Nenna is using him to conceal that she is leaving the island. He then explained the letter, telling the crowd that Nenna had been thieving from everyone, Rose included. He explained that Rose was blackmailing her, and Nenna killed her. Lowe asks that they first find proof of his guilt before he is killed. Charles tells him that, unless the Commodore wakes up, the mob will rule and Lowe won’t stand a chance.

James and Kate interrogate Fletch about Lowe’s involvement in Rose’s murder and the letter. To defend Lowe, Fletch goes to get the letter. Also on the hunt, Charles finds something unexpected in the woods. Fletch brings the letter to James right before the town bell tolls and everyone is brought to the square to see that Charles found Rose’s body, clutching Lowe’s pendant in her cold dead hand. Charles proclaims Lowe guilt and sentences him to death. Once Fletch is gone, James burns the letter getting rid of any evidence of Nenna’s involvement with Rose’s death.

In order to save Lowe, Fletch asks James to validate the existence of the letter and Nenna’s guilt but, instead, James claims it was a forgery. His conscience quickly gets the best of him and he stops Lowe’s execution. He explains the contents to the crowd as we are afforded a flashback to him conspiring with Nenna to counterfeit her own death so that she can leave the island, asking him to destroy the letter. Back in her beach house, Nenna cuts off her finger. Commitment for real!

Gone are the days of Nenna’s indecisiveness in the face of Rose’s sexual advances. Instead, she is becoming a brilliant, although manipulative, character, giving the little pirate show that could some swashbuckling legitimacy. Too bad NBC announced that the final two episodes will air back to back on a Saturday night, Aug. 2, instead of it’s regularly scheduled Friday. It’s a shame, but all we can hope for is more Nenna. Here’s hoping the final episodes will be a two-hour long explanation of where Nenna ran off to with her remaining nine fingers. Assuming she’s not gone for good.

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