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“The Amazing Race Canada” recap (2.3): Snakes and Liars

Word of the team’s upcoming journey to Hong Kong was greeted with squeals from nearly all of the remaining teams, siblings Sukhi and Jinder shouting the loudest as usual. Laura and Jackie were genuinely excited to return to Asia, seeing that is where they had gotten engaged.

The only team to outshine everyone this week was Rex and Bob Hope, as they pranced into the airport announcing their survival. “We’re baaaaack,” they shouted as Rex danced up to the rest of the teams. Narrowly avoiding elimination in last week’s second episode Rex explained, “We’re in loser last. Our goal is really to have redemption and move on.”

Once they touched down in Hong Kong, they were to first seek out a blessing from a group of monk at The Tian Tan Buddha. Having all arrived on the same flight, the playing field was leveled and the race was anyone’s game. My favorite married couple from Toronto, Laura and Jackie, found themselves quickly climbing up from 8th place, spending the first part of their trip navigating between the first three spots.

That was until the first Detour. Choosing between Master Chef and Kung Fu Master, the first challenge required teams to locate the restaurant Bo Innovation and its owner, MasterChef Canada“judge Alvin Leung. Leung would give the teams a 10-ingredient shopping list and send them off to the Wan Chai Wet Market to acquire the items.

The alternative challenge required teams to learn a “complicated” kung fu routine. Given that task, I would’ve have chosen the former but all but two teams knew better, and chose the latter. And this is why I’ll never be on The Amazing Race.

Having won two legs of the race so far, Mikkelson and Spooner used their Express Pass they had won on their first leg to, well, get a leg up on the competition.

First considering the Master Chef challenge, Rex and Bob eventually chose kung fu based again upon Rex’ dance prowess. Struggling for a bit, Rex explained, “I am Rex Harrington. I have a star on the Walk of Fame. I have an Order of Canada from my dance career. I should be able to do this.”

They weren’t the only team to express confidence. Montreal couple Alain and Audrey figured the kung fu challenge would be easy because Alain is an actor and a stunt performer. He also has a black belt in karate, so I drank the Kool-Aid and believed that they had this in the bag. In reality, the mother-son duo Cormac and Nicole conquered the challenge first, figuring they’d be successful if they just yelled a lot. Poor Alain noted, “Twenty years of martial arts, big 0,” as they were the last team to finish the challenge.

As it turns out, trying to find 10 items in a massive and foreign market isn’t as easy as it sounds. Aside from Laura and Jackie, Team Showboat Sukhi and Jinder attempted it. Having enlisted the assistance of an English-speaking local seemed like the key that’d bail out Laura and Jackie, but they’re first attempt was rejected by Leung. “He is definitely the Demon Chef,” said a defeated Laura. Both teams were eventually successful, but the challenge being more time-consuming than the other found both teams fighting for last place.

Now I’m going to get to the fact that Laura and Jackie spent the remainder of the episode struggling, but first I have to say that most of my attention was directed at which of Team Olympian I had a bigger crush on, especially after Meaghan dominated the Roadblock where competitors had to choose a snake, have its gall bladder removed and eat the bile that was extracted, followed by eating a bowl of snack meat soup.

I can’t even. I covered my eyes and watched most of the challenge through my fingers. Most of the competitors breezed through it, cracking jokes and laughing as their counterparts choked down all the gross. My love for Meaghan grew stronger as she burped proudly, running to the final challenge.

Jackie did initially look nauseated by the task. “It doesn’t say that I can’t throw-up,” she jokes. More seriously she explains, “I’m vegetarian. Anything that comes out of a snake, I don’t think I should eat.” That being said, she looks to accomplish the task without barfing.

The final challenge, which required absolutely no skill aside from looking ridiculous, required the teams to overact traditional Bruce Lee poses under the supervision of a local director.

Ultimately, Laura and Jackie were the third team to be eliminated during their tour of Hong Kong. Arriving to the final pit stop, they proved the only thing more nauseating than eating snake was their sickeningly sweet and tearful goodbye. Like true lesbians, Laura said that the competition “just really brought us closer and closer together,” which Jackie responded, “I’m extremely, extremely lucky. You’re the most beautiful girl in the world.”

So now that the ladies have been eliminated, there’s only one all-female group competing in the completion, Olympians Meaghen and Natalie. Seeing that they landed in first place again this week, there’s really no concern of them being eliminated any time soon. The only real question is which one of them is more crush-worthy. As of right now, I consider it a tie. Stay tuned!

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