“Orange is the New Black” recap (2.13): We Have Manners. We’re Polite.

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Healy finds Luschek and convinces him to lie and say that Suzanne was under his watch during the time of Red’s attack. Luschek agrees as long as Healy owes him a favor. Luschek fills out the paperwork that will spare Suzanne from being sent to max, giddy at the thought of Healy owing him one.

Vee reeks of desperation when she seeks out Taystee in her bunk. She zigs and zags, offering Taystee a place back in her heart, then accusing her of stealing the heroin. Poussey, Watson and Cindy all gather around their girl Taystee as she finally stands up to Vee. She even gets Vee to admit her responsibility in RJ’s death. Cindy and Watson let Vee know that they are planning to recant their testimony about Suzanne. Vee, in a last ditch effort to hold onto control turns to Taystee. “You broke my heart,” she says. “That might be true is you had one,” Taystee so perfectly retorts.

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On the way back from Miss Rosa’s doctor visit, Morello tries to lighten the heavy mood by suggesting that they request Toy Story 2 for movie night. Miss Rosa doesn’t reply, just sits slumped to the side. CO Ford tells Morello about Rosa’s bad news, and how royally screwed up it is to have to die in prison. As Morello silently deals with the awful news, CO Ford starts singing along to the radio.

As Soso and Piper are freshening up for bed, Soso laments not taking Piper’s advice when she arrived. She never found someone to look out for her and now she’s desperately lonely. Soso doesn’t think she will be the same when she leaves, and that right there, isn’t ok.

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As SIS prepares their case against Suzanne, it becomes quite clear that they just want to go home for the night. She’s unstable, and probably not guilty, but the paperwork is already filled out. When they go to leave Cindy, Watson, Poussey and Taystee, who are now all accusing Vee of the attack, confront them. The SIS agents get angry and call for security when the women become insistent. Mr. Healy shows up and gives the agents Luschek’s signed work order. Case not closed afterall, mofos!

As Caputo sets up his new office (more space to masturbate!) Bennett comes in to confess his relationship with Daya. He claims to be the father of the baby, and tells Caputo how they set Mendez up. Caputo silences him. He can’t have this sort of thing come to light on his watch. Caputo suggests that if Bennett loves Daya, that he should keep his pouty mouth shut, or he will send Daya away.

Piper puts in a call to Polly and Larry to ask a favor. She wants them to call Alex’s probation officer and inform him that she is planning to skip town. Larry is hesitant because he is unsure of Piper’s intentions. Polly however, agrees to do it right away.

Healy leads the SIS officers to Vee’s bunk, but she’s nowhere to be found. It turns out Vee used Red’s tunnel to make an escape and emerges somewhere in the middle of the woods.

Nicky leads Big Boo to the laundry room where she’s hidden Vee’s stash, so Boo can help her move it back to the supply room and nail Vee for it. Big Boo poses a different idea. What about keeping it for themselves? Their plans are interrupted by the alarm buzzers and they drop to the floor. Before they are ordered back to their bunks, Nicky finds that she can’t take her eyes off the stuff. In the kitchen, Bennett announces that Vee is missing, and Gloria and Norma shoot each other a knowing look. Morello and Miss Rosa pull in as the alarms ring, and CO Fors instructs them to stay in the car. The prison is officially on lockdown.

Alex is calmly reading, wrapped up in a blanket when there is a pounding at her door. She sees the lock being fiddled with so she runs and grabs her gun. She stands in the hallway, trembling and pointing the loaded gun at the door. When it opens, it’s the super and Davey Crocket, her probation officer. Alex is safe from Kubra’s cronies, but she is also royally fucked.

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Back at Litch, everyone is ordered to stay in their bunks. Finally alone, Piper reaches into her locker where she pulls out a fat stack of letters from Alex…letters she said she had thrown away. She opens one that says, “I know the situation in Chicago seemed fucked but I promise I was protecting you,” and proceeds to read it, a smile creeping across her face. There has been much debate about Piper’s intentions. Did she turn Alex in to protect her? Screw her over? I think it’s so much more than one thing. Being behind bars would make Alex harder to harm, but it also puts her closer to Piper. Was the thought of losing Alex for good simply more than Piper could face? Was this the act of a woman trying to save the life of her love? I guess we won’t really find out Piper’s motives until next season. Whatever they are, they are bound to cause maximum drama when Alex is once again in her reach. The camera pans to the women in the bunks. Sophia fixing someone’s hair, Watson exercising while Poussey reads, Taystee and Cindy talking about Vee. The final shot is of Suzanne, weeping alone on her bed, clutching the deck of Uno cards Vee gave her as a gift.

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Morello watches the action from the car and decides that she can’t sit by for another moment. She turns to Miss Rosa in the backseat. “Don’t die in here Miss Rosa. Go do it your own way.” Morello hops out of the car, leaving the keys in the ignition. Miss Rosa takes her place in the driver’s seat and peels out. She tears down the driveway as Caputo is coaching Sr. Ingalls on what to say to the protesters. Rosa also happens to be careening towards all the nuns at the blockade. “O’Neill! Scatter the nuns!” he screams as Rosa flies past him. Rosa busts through the blockade with a self satisfied smile. She rolls down the window and turns the radio up, which is playing “Don’t Fear the Reaper.”  Just then, Vee makes her way to through the woods to the street where she tries to flag down a car. Rosa’s car. Rosa sees Vee and turns the car in her direction, mowing the woman down dead. “Always so rude, that one,” Rosa says to herself. With the open road in front of her and the sound of approaching sirens behind her, Rosa is finally getting the ending she imagined. Her face flashes to her younger self as she prepares to go out in a blaze of glory.

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Thus ends the second amazing season of Orange is the New Black. No word on whether the chicken ever resurfaced. Thank you for joining me in these recaps. It’s been a true pleasure to cover this show and see all your comments and thoughts about the characters and stories.

Follow Dana on Twitter @danapiccoli

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