“Defiance” recap (2.5): Everybody’s Gayliens, Deal With It

I’m sorry I missed recapping last week’s Defiance; if only I had Hermione’s Time-Turner I could write about every awesome TV show in the world. Alas, I do not. But there are only a couple of things you need to know before we hop into last night’s Gayest Episode of Television Possibly Ever.

Last week, Rafe McCawley’s godson and a couple of his Badlands buddies hijacked Mayor Pottinger’s transport and killed everyone but Pottinger and Berlin, a thing that led Rafe to acknowledging how his godson had gone to the Dark Side something fierce, and so he shot him in the back and was kicked out of his house by the E-Rep as a reward. While Pottinger was melting down about getting pissed on by the Badlander and possibly molested by Votans when he was at boarding school, Amanda comforted him with a confession that she, too, had been raped — something that led to her getting pregnant, having an abortion, and never telling her fiance, British Connor who died last season. Datak went full Castithan Old Testament when Stahma asked him to make her his partner in literal crime, and so she had him berated and beaten, publicly, twice. While he was lying on the ground out in the mud after his second walloping, she leaned down and whispered in his ear: “Fives need to listen when a ten is talking.”

Amanda is tripping balls on Blue Devil in the bathtub when the candles go out and creeper noises start echoing in her apartment. She is assailed by a man in a ski mask telling her she’s his and trying to rape her again, but she pushes her attacker out the window. She is fucked up real bad, emotionally, so Nolan promises to find the guy who did this to her and let her push him out a taller window. Amanda doesn’t want any supervision from Tommy or Irisa, but the next day she finally returns to wearing her Braid of Justice because she’s ready to start fighting again.

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(It’s loose, though, the Braid; she’s still very undone about Kenya’s death and also drug-addled from all the alien meth.)

Datak’s only friend on earth, Doc Yewll, patches him up after his own thugs beat the shtako out of him. The whole time she’s bandaging his leg he’s reading the Castithan Crazy Scrolls* and talking about how he ought to cut out Stahma’s organs and serve them for supper. Yewll is like, “The patriarchy of your planet makes the patriarchy of this planet — before we destroyed it, obviously — look like fully realized third-wave feminism.” Datak says he’s murdered people for saying the word “feminism” out loud in his presence before and Yewll pats him on the head and goes, “Good, the first step is admitting you have a problem. Now burn your stupid holy book and fix your shit.”

(*TM Meh Yewll)

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On her way home, somebody calls out to Yewll, first name-checking her and everything, all, “Meh!” (Which is pronounced “May” and not like the word that means “eh, whatever.”) Who it is is Yewll’s former lady love, Lev, a thing that throws our favorite misanthropic Indogene off her game like we’ve never seen before. She says Lev isn’t welcome and Lev says it’s cool, she won’t stay long, she just dropped by to say she’s dying.

The next day in the market, Amanda is looking ratchet as hell (but still better than me or you on our prettiest days, to be honest), but she spares a minute of time for Nolan, who just wanted to say that he thinks she’s basically the worst and pales in comparison to loving, fiery Kenya in every way. He roughs her up and tells her she’s his and obviously she is hallucinating hardcore, so she hits up Pottinger to ask if maybe his last batch of adreno was laced with magic mushrooms or something. He says nope, she’s just having bad dreams because of the heat. The E-Reppers take her to Rafe’s, which they’re now using as some kind of home base for their Evil Empire shenanigans. Nolan meets her there and says there’s no sign of a struggle or break-in at her apartment, but there’s drug paraphernalia all over the place.

Whoops. Busted.

For the best, though, really.

Tommy and Irisa babysit Amanda while Nolan goes off to do sheriff stuff, but of course Tommy gives her a gun when another one of her hallucinations flares up and she shoots them both. Irisa heals herself on the sly, but lets Tommy bleed for being dumb enough to equip a crazy person with a firearm and also for the petulant little tantrums he keeps throwing about how she left him.

Amanda escapes into the night once she realizes she’s gone on a shooting spree. Nolan blames Pottinger on account of he thinks there’s alien roofies in the Blue Devil he keeps snorting with her.

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So Rafe has definitely moved in over at the Tarr’s place and the bathtub is freaking him out, and that’s before Stahma climbs on in there with him giggling about how fast he gets sprung. She’s all coy and head-dippy and our home is your home and Casti women wear clothes in the bath because only men are permitted by Reyatso to be naked (which, sidebar, is ridiculous and makes me think Reyatso must be the blindest god to ever god) and if you lay your grimy hands on my son again, I strangle you with your own cock. That kind of stuff. Martha Stewart hospitality stuff.

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