One of ABC Family’s newest comedies, Young & Hungry, is about a 20-something aspiring chef (Gabi) who works for a rich internet mogul (Josh). It’s cute and fun and Disney alum Emily Osment is one of the most adorable humans on the face of the planet. Every episode is titled “Young &” something, and this week’s episode is called “Young & Lesbian.” The lesbian in this instance is played by yet another Disney alum: Ashley Tisdale.
I’ve basically been waiting for this moment my whole life. And by my whole life I mean since the summers in college I spent at home watching the Disney channel and pretending I totally wasn’t.
Anyway, this episode begins with Gabi trying to cook despite the hungry eyes of her boss’s publicist, Elliot. Logan, the editor of a magazine that produces the “30 under 30″ list every year, is coming over and needs to be impressed enough to include Josh in this year’s issue: Josh is 29, so it’s his last chance. Elliot makes it sound like Josh’s heart will break if he’s not on the list, but Josh is under the impression that it’s Elliot who would be devastated by the omission.
Gabi tells them both to calm down and let her handle the food. When the editor shows up, she lays it right down: Her name is Logan and she is not in the mood to explain her tattoos.
I don’t think we’re at East High anymore, Sharpay.
Yolanda, Josh’s housekeeper, sasses her right back and lets her in. Logan is no-nonsense and critiques everything she sees. Josh is charming but Elliot is following behind him like a yappy puppy, laughing too loud and being ridiculous. Gabi steps in to save the day, with what she calls “store d’oeuvres” modeled after the free samples at Costco, because she’s adorable.
After a very successful meeting, Elliot walks Logan out to the elevator, where she tells him that Josh isn’t going to make the list—unless he can get her a date. At first Elliot thinks she means with Josh, but she is actually talking about Gabi. She asks if the chef is single and gay, and Elliot says she is, and will get Gabi on Logan’s “girl under girl” list in exchange for getting Josh on the “30 under 30″ list. It was the first in many hilariously bad lesbian puns scattered throughout the episode.
When Elliot goes inside to tell Gabi what she has to do, he decides to spin it and makes her think that Logan just wants a woman’s opinion of Josh and his work, which Gabi is simply delighted to provide.
Gabi meets Logan at a bar, and when Logan interrupts her spiel about Josh, it suddenly becomes clear that she’s actually here on a date.
The leering was the first clue.
Gabi tries to stall by saying they should get a drink, and Logan comes out with the best pun of the episode, in my opinion, saying that she loves a good hard liquor. Say it out loud. I’ll wait.
Get it? I may or may not have spit my drink all over the place. So wrong but so right.
While Logan is getting drinks, Gabi calls Elliot and yells at him for lying to her and setting her up on a date with Logan, seeing as she’s not gay. He tells her that she’s Josh’s only chance to get on the “30 under 30″ list, so to just play along for now. Gabi reluctantly agrees, but the first thing she says to Logan when she comes back is that they should definitely take things slow. Logan takes sex off the table, but leans in for a kiss, causing Gabi to squirm her way right off the couch they’re sitting on.
Shhh, just go with it, Gabi.
Realizing there’s no other way around this, Gabi comes out to Logan as straight and tells her about Elliot’s lies. Logan is super embarrassed—she only asked because her therapist told her to get back out there after a bad breakup.
Gabi feels bad about everything and offers a shoulder and a comforting pat.
Which was a nice reaction post-kiss-running.
After hearing Logan’s story, and learning that her ex left all of her stuff, including her cat, at Logan’s place, Gabi says that it’s obvious Logan’s ex wants to come back. No lesbian just abandons an animal like that. She then devises a plan to make the ex jealous, because those schemes always work and never backfire.