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“Rookie Blue” recap (5.01 & 5.02): This is Happening

Welcome back, Rookies! I’ve missed you guys! And I’ve missed Gail and Holly. Last we left them, they were holding hands in the hospital waiting room, newly outed as a couple, waiting for news of their injured coworkers and friends.

What we don’t have to wait for is a little skin. 15 Division welcomes us back with a half-naked Andy right off the bat. As it turns out, Swarek is still in surgery, and Chloe is awake but has a blood clot. She is not particularly pleased to learn who has been making medical decisions for her. Speak of the devil, Chloe’s legal husband, Wes, and Dov are in the elevator, having a pissing contest of sorts. But with roses and teddy bears. Unfortunately for Dov, Chloe asks to talk to Wes alone first.

Gail shows up at Holly’s house and immediately starts foraging for alcohol. Holly isn’t really fazed, but she suggests that Gail might want to eat before hitting the bourbon. Gail isn’t interested in anything that doesn’t involve booze, though.

Holly wonders aloud if they should have left the hospital, but Gail says there was no point in them being there. She said maybe they can go back later as the “big gay distraction,” her eyes wide and almost manic. She says now that her brother knows, everyone will, and she doesn’t sound like this is her favorite thing in the world. But she says there’s no going back now.

After being sent to a diner to relax and let off a little steam, Andy and Dov find themselves in the middle of a heist, led by the tiny and fearsome Ellie Nash. I guess all those Degrassi kids have a little baggage.

Back at Holly’s, Gail is hiding in the bathroom with music blaring. Holly goes upstairs to check on her girl, and when Gail doesn’t answer her knocking, she lets herself in. What she finds is Gail…with significantly less hair than she had a few minutes ago. Holly lowers the music and says, very matter-of-factly, “This is happening” and watches the scene unfold around her. Gail holds up her severed ponytail and names every inch; the academy, Chris, Jerry’s death, Nick x2…all of it gone, now. (Which is probably for the best, that’s a long time to go without a haircut.) Holly just says, “Honey,” her voice dripping with empathy.

The sound of Holly’s voice seems to pull Gail back towards reality and she realizes what she’s done, and Holly is calm and patient while Gail starts to freak out. A lighthouse in the storm, a tether to solid ground. At the diner, Ellie is pacing around, waiting for a timed safe to be ready to be opened. A pregnant lady bosses her way into the diner and orders a milkshake, totally unaware that everyone else in the diner is tense and silent. After getting her milkshake, the owner tries to give her a receipt imploring her to call 911 but the Clyde to Ellie’s Bonnie intercepts it. This earns the diner owner a bash to the head with Ellie’s gun. Ellie resumes pacing around, chanting the combination to the safe instead of just writing it down and enjoying a milkshake of her own.

In the hospital, Oliver sneaks into Chloe’s room and they adorably show off their battle wounds to one another. When Oliver finds out Dov hasn’t come in to see her yet, he grabs the phone and dials immediately. (Do cops have to know each other’s cell phone numbers by heart? Because I’m lucky I know my own cell phone number.) Oliver starts to leave Dov a stern message about having to get there ASAP to clean his head wound, but Chloe grabs it and hangs up. She decides to give it a shot herself and leaves a message, putting on her best sick-voice and begging him to come kiss her because she’s dying; I mean, she got shot in the NECK. Oliver grabs the phone and starts singing into it that Dov “gives love a bad name.” It’s one of those really sweet scenes that shows how much heart this show has.

However, their adorable antics set off a chain of unfortunate events. Dov’s cell phone goes off in the diner, causing Ellie to start rooting around in the bag of loot for the source. What she finds is a police badge. Well this sends the little ball of anxiety off the deep end, and her and Clyde start shouting, and Dov and Andy start explaining all at once. In the chaos, a woman finds a rifle and shoots Clyde right in the chest. Despite Ellie’s tears and Andy’s soothing words, Clyde dies. At the hospital, Chloe starts looking weird, like she’s sick to her stomach, and asks Oliver to sing. Oliver asks her what she wants him to sing, but she repeats herself, and starts to look even worse. Suddenly, she starts to code, and Oliver calls in every medical professional within earshot.

When Dov finally gets his phone back, he sees all the messages from the hospital and RUNS LIKE THE WIND through Toronto to be by his girl’s side. He gets there in time to see Chloe in full cardiac arrest. She flatlines, but they eventually get her back, much to everyone’s relief.

Dov is sitting by Chloe’s side when she wakes up, and Chloe wastes no time before telling him that he’s the one she chooses, always. Not Wes, not anyone else. She’s only technically married, and she only didn’t tell him because she was ashamed. Chloe asks what happened, and Dov tells her she had a heart attack and died for a second. Her eyes grow wide and she asks if he was scared. He sort of gives a non-answer and she asks if SHE was scared. Dov gives the most Dov response possible, “Well, you were dead.” Which makes Chloe smile.

In Holly’s bathroom, the two women are sitting in the tub while Holly cuts Gail’s hair into a neat little pixie. Gail is coming to terms with the reality of her situation. Cons: She doesn’t know if her friends are going to die or not (FRIENDS! She’s come so far), she just chopped off all her hair in a fit, she’s sitting in a bathtub. Pros: She’s drinking bourbon with the “coolest chick” ever. Holly smiles at her and says it might not be perfect, but it’s still beautiful in its way. She’s still beautiful.

Holly kisses her, reminding Gail that not everything in her life is a total mess right now. Reminding her of what’s beautiful. Holly says it’s time to wash it all down the drain. They kiss a little more… …but before Gail knows what hit her, Holly turns the water on. Gail squeals that it’s freezing, but Holly has an idea that will warm her up. They keep kissing, fully clothed, Holly’s glasses still on, letting the freezing water wash away everything that hurts. All the while, the hauntingly beautiful song in the background croons, “Baby, you should stick around.”

Nick, feeling useless at the hospital, decides to make it his mission to find Swarek’s sister. He finds her, but she’s reluctant to come with him. She eventually agrees, though she almost books it as soon as she gets to the hospital. After convincing Sister Swarek to stay, Nick runs into Andy. Andy has a confession to make: When she was in the ambulance with Swarek, she told him she loved him. Nick’s expression doesn’t change much, he just asks if she meant it. When Andy confirms that she did, he just turns and leaves without another word. Andy looks like maybe it’s a good thing she’s already in a hospital because her heart might literally be breaking.

While all this is going on, Detective Nash’s baby daddy is accusing her of being a bad parent since she’s so busy all the time, but Nash isn’t about to give up custody that easily. Brother Peck offers to help her out; he wants her, including all her baggage. Even her tween-boy-shaped baggage. Heck, even her paperwork baggage. She’s very grateful, but as soon as she’s out of earshot, Brother Peck calls for a full background check on her baby daddy, so I’m not sure she’ll be all that grateful for too long.

Presumably the next night, 15 Division goes out for a drink that, quite frankly, they have earned. Sadly Gail is already there, so we don’t get to see everyone’s reactions to her new ‘do. Even more sadly, Holly isn’t there. Some big boss comes strolling in like a buzzkill and tells Oliver that he’s going to be the new acting staff sergeant, much to Oliver’s dismay. He just wants to be on the streets, not behind a desk. But it is not presented to him as an option.

Drunk Andy decides to stumble back to the hospital to visit Swarek, and it’s kind of the cutest thing. She bounces around and offers to drive his sister home the next day and somehow gets convinced that she should be the one who should train the new rookie that’s starting the next day.

The next morning, Andy finds the new rookie cleaning up the spilled contents of his Go Bag, and casually welcomes him, as if this has always been her home, and that she hadn’t been the awkward, nervous rookie just a few years ago. It’s a small moment, but it made my heart smile.

Oliver leads his first team meeting and introduces the rookie, Duncan. He tells them that he’s family, which means they can be as mean as they want, and they don’t even have to like him, but they’ll always have his back.

Andy convinces Oliver and the commissioner that she is ready to train a rookie, but realizes she is not in for an easy ride when the first thing he does is take a selfie. In the squad car, it almost feels like a third grader showing a kindergartner the ropes and I’m suddenly really nervous for both of their safety.

They arrive at a potential robbery and find a drunk, homeless man camping out. After making sure he hasn’t stolen anything, Andy tells Duncan to let him go while she checks out the rest of the store. Down in the creepy basement, she finds a man tied to a chair. A dead man.

And while I wouldn’t say I’m GLAD the store owner is dead, I have a really hard time being too upset about it, because the forensic pathologist assigned to the case is our very own Holly. She sciences all over the place and tells Nash that the man essentially died of a heart attack about 5 hours ago, but she’ll know more later. And just like that, Holly had a scene without Gail. She’s legit! She’s her own character! QUICK, SOMEONE GET A SERIAL KILLER TO TORONTO, WE NEED TO MAKE SURE HOLLY STAYS FOREVER.

Eh hem. I mean. RIP Pawn Shop Owner.

Andy is really great with the Rookie, considering he’s the actual worst. He royally screws up a death notification, he got his grubby hands all over evidence…oh and also his stepfather is the commissioner. Nepotism, man.

Dov and Diaz interview a coke princess and find out that the pawn shop owner was a little dirty. The girl is also a little dirty, and gives Diaz her number on a bag of chips before leaving. Later, when Gail is eating the coke chips, Dov warns her that they might be roofied. Gail doesn’t care, because she’s Gail, and as long as they’re not toilet chips, she’ll be eating them thank you very much. The Rookie goes to the shop owner’s wife’s house to apologize for being a dillweed earlier, but runs into a shady looking fella instead. He talks to him for a minute, shoving both of his own feet, and also some stray doll feet, into his mouth by saying things without thinking about them. Luck is on his side, though, because out in the squad car, a BOLO goes out for a suspect’s car and Andy notices it next to her in the driveway. She goes in and uses Oliver’s advice to calm the Rookie down, sending him to find the pawned ring the man is looking for, talking the man down. In this moment, I am weirdly proud of Andy. She used to be the mess. She used to be the one accidentally ruining everything. She was the one getting scolded by her TOs at every turn. But now here she is, being strong, being a leader, being a mentor. They just grow up so fast. The Rookie, still high off the buzz of his first day, asks everyone if they want to go for drinks, but they all have their own lives to live. Andy has had enough action in one day to last a lifetime, Dov is going to see Chloe, and Diaz has a date with the coke princess.

Meanwhile, Nash successfully finished her day in 8 hours, meaning she got to keep her promise and take her son to his hockey game. She might just be getting the hang of things, with Brother Peck on her side.

At the hospital, Chloe and Dov have a little heart to heart about marriage and love and other mushy stuff, all while Chloe is in the cutest pjs I’ve ever seen. Eventually Chloe just says, “Shut up and kiss me before I die.” Which she really needs to stop saying. Because listen, she might have been the biggest pain in the ass in the beginning, but she has really grown on me. The fact that not even Gail Peck can put a bushel over her chipper candle has really earned her my respect and I would really appreciate it if she would do me the favor of not dying. Thanks.

After dropping her off at the train, Sister Swarek warns Andy about her brother, saying that he’s only going to keep hurting her. Remembering all the times she’s already been hurt, Andy texts Swarek and asks for a little time. Swarek says he’s not going anywhere, which probably means he’ll have to go back undercover by next week.

What did you think of “Blink”/”All By Her Selfie”?

(Friendly reminder to Canadian viewers that we’re a few episodes behind in the U.S. Please don’t post any spoilers, only chat about 501 and 502 for now!)

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