“Orange is the New Black” recap (2.4): A Whole Other Hole

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In Poussey’s bunk, she’s painting Taystee’s toenails, and they are giggling like two schoolgirls. Not impressed by Poussey’s abstract toe painting, Taystee starts to tickle her. You know where tickling on a bed leads, amiright ladies? Poussey catches her breath and kisses Taystee, who kindly turns her down. They’ve been here before, and Taystee loves Poussey as a friend. However, Taystee likes to get her cuddle on which just makes the whole thing all the more confusing and difficult to Poussey. Vee walks by to witness them snuggling.

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Not surprisingly, Morello has gone and made a break for it, all the while telling herself to go back. She speeds off in the direction of Christafuh. In the chemo treatment room, Rosa sits next to a punk ass kid, who dismisses her attempts to chat. When his iPhone dies moments later, he finds himself reluctantly talking with her. When he finds out the she’s an inmate, and a bank robber at that, he’s all in.

At first Morello just parks across the street from Christafuh’s house, but curiosity and a definite lack of impulse control get the better of her. She walks up the steps, and tries to get in, eventually breaking the glass of a back door and letting herself in. She wanders through the house, tears in her eyes as she sees pictures of Christafuh and his fiancé. She goes upstairs and even tries on the fiancé’s veil.

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Flashback to Morello’s room, where she’s packing for a weekend trip with Christafuh and talking with her sister about how lucky she is to have met a guy like him. Her sister asks her to bring him to meet the family, but Morello doesn’t want to scare him off. After all, he’s her destiny.

In Red and Piper’s bunk, they discuss the wonders of being a woman. For example, chin hair. Red’s feverishly plucking, while Piper reminisces how Larry named her chin hair “Spike.” When Red asks about Larry, Piper tells her that they haven’t spoken, and in fact, none of her friends have made contact since the whole Alex thing came to light. “People are fickle fucks,” Red announces. Piper laments her selfish decisions, but Red tells her that being selfish is how you survive in prison. When Piper asks if Red’s been dumped by her crew, Red says that she is no longer useful to them and so they can easily turn their backs. In a rare act of friendship, Red hands Piper her tweezers to pluck Spike.

In the outside world, Larry and Polly are grabbing bagels with the baby. Polly is struggling with the baby on her own, while Pete is off in the Alaskan tundra finding himself.  An older couple sitting next to them, compliments them on what a fine looking family they make. Larry and Polly decide to play along, and their “love story” comes surprisingly easily. The older woman tells them that it’s clear that they are perfect together. Now, wouldn’t that be convenient?

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