In the previous episode we caught up with Piper and Alex, and used a little of Lori Petty’s Vaseline. Ah, it was nice, wasn’t it? But episode two brings us right back home to Litchfield, where we belong. Well, maybe some of us, but you get my drift.
Let’s start with a flashback, shall we? At an adoption fair, a little girl named Tasha is bringing Christina Aguilera realness to a prospective adoptive couple. When another little girl tries to get their attention, little Tasha plays dirrrrrty and tells her to fuck right off and scamper away. This somehow does not impress the couple. Later, a dejected Tasha sits alone on a park bench sipping on what remains of a blue shaved ice. A strange, well-put together woman sits down beside her, and has a little talk with Tasha. The woman cases Tasha pretty quickly, determining that she’s a group home kid. Just then, a young man walks over and hands the woman a roll of money. Turns out the young man lives with her, but only if he continues to bring in the dough. Tasha calls her out right away as a drug dealer. The woman is impressed with Tasha’s keen street smarts and head for numbers. She asks Tasha to join her little army of runners, but Tasha declines. Before the woman leaves, she bestows upon Tasha a nickname that will come into play years later. Taystee. Just like Tasha’s shaved ice that is blue but tastes red.
Back at Litchfield, it’s career day. Dress for Success (which is actually a real and wonderful organization started by Nancy Lublin) has come to give the women some interview prep lessons and aptitude tests. When Flacca brings up the fact that most ex-cons don’t exactly get to launch careers in the corporate world, the DFS woman encourages them to think big.
In the kitchen, the inmates are jealous that Flacca is at the job fair and they are stuck in the kitchen with Luschek, and Luschek’s asscrack. He’s attempting to fix the radiator, while the women tell him about the frozen pipes in the bathroom. Speaking of blocked pipes, Gloria has made a special herbal drink to help Daya, who is constipated as hell. Daya’s mother Aleida buts in, and is upset to find out that Daya turned to Gloria and not her.
Most of Litchfield has assembled to watch the Dress for Success fashion show, as Asst Warden Figueroa gives one of her shellacked smile introductions. The women come out, some looking more appropriate than others. Taystee is confident that she will walk away as the clear winner, but it’s Flacca who gets the seal of approval. Taystee is not pleased.
Flashback to Taystee as a teenager, running off to her shift at Storky’s Bugers. While stopping to chat with a fellow group home kid, Taystee is set upon by Vee and her crew. Vee invites Taystee to dinner, for a price to be paid later, of course. Taystee stands tall, which both intrigues and infuriates Vee. Taystee watches as her friend walks off with Vee to become yet another of her Dickensian troupe of child drug runners.
At the commissary, Red is stocking up on Cup O’ Noodle since she’s still being frozen out of the cafeteria. She looks frazzled and exhausted, her grey roots bursting forth from fading red hair. Unfortunately, her commissary account is bare. Red’s family hasn’t been keeping track and now Red’s about to get very hungry.
In Caputo’s office, he’s feeling the chill of a crumbling infrastructure too. His succulent has frost on it! Luschek bangs around a bit, and Caputo asks what Fig plans to do about the cold. Apparently, buy a space heater for her office and let everyone else freeze.
In the cafeteria line, Red stands defeated near the end. Also in line is Big Boo (hey gurl!!). When Maritza sees Boo, she asks about Little Boo, who is notably absent. Apparently there was an incident with some peanut butter and we shall never speak of it again. When the women on the line see Red, they comment on her fall from grace. She’s so pitiful, the old Red Bear, that they hand her a tray. Red finds her way to a table in the back where she catches the eye of a group of older prisoners. They invite her to join them but she refuses. She’s not ready to come out of hibernation yet, apparently.