It’s that time of year again, when queers of all kinds take to the streets of the closest big city and celebrate ourselves because, dammit, we’re beautiful. If you’ve never been to Pride, or want some pointers from the pros, perhaps the Lesbians of TV Prides Past (The L Word, Queer as Folk, South of Nowhere) can help you figure out exactly what to do, what to wear, and who you might encounter when the LGBTs take over the streets all June long for “the high homo holidays.”
You can invite your mother, but she might not want to come.
But she may change her mind and show up with your girlfriend.
It could be she’s marching with PFLAG, though.
And you are possibly more interested in riding with the Dykes on Bikes.
There’s always a chance you might run into someone you didn’t know was gay. Be kind!
Or even an ex-girlfriend or two.
If you are a virgin to Pride, or have only watched from “parties or rented rooftops” like a Peabody….
You might find the most joy in just taking it all in by yourself, kissing a much older woman and then ending your night crying in a sex dungeon.
Mostly you’ll see a lot of normal people just like yourself.
And a lot of drag queens and shirtless dudes. But if some rude woman doesn’t have you on her list…
And your dad isn’t down with hanging out…
You’ll easily find some new friends to celebrate with because we’re all there for the same damn reason.
Now it may not be advisable to choose Pride as the time to 1. tell your girlfriend you love her for the first time (Dana!), 2. discuss your pet and family history with your crush (Shane!) or 3. ditch your partner for your motorcycle (Mel!), but you’re a big girl and you can make your own decisions, dammit. Even if that means making statements like, “Polish up the old bitch and we’re there” or “I love to punish a tease.” Try your best not to wake up the next day like this.