It’s a certain kind of sadness to realize you are lonely while surrounded by people. It’s a thing that happens to every New Yorker at some point, and today, it’s Kurt’s turn. The gang is all out for brunch, and he wants someone to hang out with, but all of his friends have people to be and places to do…or something. Kurt has little time to wallow however, because in rushes Rachel Berry, having a new emergency. They all turn their focus to Rachel because they are contractually obligated to care. There’s a blind item in the paper about an up and coming actress who is managing to burn bridges wherever she goes. Rachel knows if she’s branded a problem this early on, she’ll never really have the career she wants. Santana assures her that if Angelina Jolie can completely change her image, than so can Rachel Berry. She simply needs to find the right cause. As fate would have it, an encounter with a woman and her lap dog at the restaurant convinces Rachel that her philanthropic focus should saving the animals! All of them. Except ferrets—those guys are shifty. I once made eye contact with a ferret at PetCo and I went out to my car, and there were tiny scratches on the side of my car door. Coincidence? Hmmm.
At the diner, Kurt is working his shift when a little old lady (played by the wonderful June Squibb) comes in to drop off flyers from her retirement home’s production of Peter Pan. A bold choice. The woman, Maggie, calls Kurt “Doughboy” which is a step above Porcelain apparently, and asks what seems to be troubling him. He pours his heart out and she invites him to stop by and watch one of their rehearsals.
Rachel, Mercedes, Sam and Artie all head to the dog pound where Rachel dazzles the staff with her idea for a benefit concert. A dog catches Sam’s eye, and before Mercedes can say, “Hell to the no,” his heart is melted. Speaking of melting, Sam whips out his guitar and starts playing “Melt With You” by Modern English. Surely the mesh an lace he refers to will be found in the embarrassing outfits the adopted dogs will one day be wearing during their evening strolls on the Upper West Side. The arrangement is terrific and seeing Sam roll around in a dog pen is pretty adorable.
Rachel comes up with a name for the benefit: Broadway Bitches. (Wait until Bernadette Peters finds out about this!) Santana, who is being incredibly helpful, comes up with a plan to generate buzz. Rachel will go out and walk a pack of dogs, while the paparazzi snap away. When Kurt coms home, Rachel tells him about the show, and his eyes light up. He asks to be a part of it, and she has the audacity to say no. Rachel swears it’s not personal, but Kurt walks away to lick his wounds nonetheless.