(Howdy! I’ll be taking over the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. recaps for a few weeks. I promised Heather I would actually recap the show and not just write Skimmons fanfic, but IT WON’T BE EASY.)
Previously on Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., Hydra slithered out of the woodwork and took over, and Ward shot Agent Hand because Hollywood loves to kill lesbians and also HE’S EVIL.
We open on the Girl in the Flower Dress in boring blue flowerless prison outfit. She’s making origami when she hears a commotion. Ward shows up and gives her a present: a brand new flower dress. Looks like he’s springing her. (See what I did there?)
She REALLY likes her floral patterns.
Meanwhile, on the Bus, Skye reports that she has located some secure S.H.I.E.L.D. locations. Coulson asks, a hopeful lilt to his voice, if there are seven, but alas, there are three. Including the Hub. Coulson’s not ready to give up just yet, though. Even if Fury IS dead.
In Cuba, Ward takes the Girl in the Flower Dress to a barber shop to introduce her to The Clairvoyant aka Garrett. She looks a little shaken to be meeting him in real life, but he tells her that he doesn’t actually have any super powers at all; just really high level of security and a really low level of morality. He puts the artist in con artist, and she is far less than pleased. He asks if she remembers what their goal is, and she responds like a well-seasoned cult member: “To change the world.” He sits her in a barber’s chair and it sinks into the ground, apparently to a Hydra headquarters of some kind.
On the Bus, FitzSimmons are having their adorable banter, Simmons worried that she doesn’t know who to take orders from anymore. They seem to be a little more out of sync than they usually are, and I blame Triplett, who is lurking around Simmons like he’d rather have people calling for TripSimmons or Simlet instead.
“No, I don’t know why he’s always around either.”
The government calls Coulson and tells him that they’re sending in some Peacekeepers and he thanks them politely and says goodbye, but he read The Hunger Games trilogy, and he’s not about to stick around until they show up. He tells his team to get ready to go, because they’re getting the hell up out of there.
Triplett skips up and is ready to board, when Coulson is like, “Yeah, no, you’ve been up Garrett’s butt for goodness knows how long, there’s no way we can just blindly trust you.” But Simmons gives Coulson her big innocent puppy dog eyes and says, “But I blindly trust him, can’t you? Please? I swear my trust isn’t TOTALLY blind. Just, like, legally blind.” And no one can resist Jemma’s face, so he relents. But Triplett is her responsibility, and if he pees on the carpet, she’s cleaning it up.
I don’t know what’s better, Coulson treating Simmons like she’s asking to keep a stray dog