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“Grey’s Anatomy” recap (10.17): Slip and Slide

At the beginning of this week’s episode of Grey’s Anatomy, Cristina delivers her own voiceover. As in all important, life changing episodes, someone other than Meredith delivers the overarching opening monologue. It makes perfect sense that Cristina would speak for herself, as this episode is focused on her journey, one that is winding down after ten seasons of Grey‘s. This episode is Cristina’s own Sliding Doors, where she considers two parallel paths for herself. One where she bends to fit the life that Owen wants, and the other, where she stays true to her own dreams.

“Do you know who you are? Do you know what’s happened to you?” Cristina asks herself and us. “Do you want to live this way?”

Cristina and Shane are in surgery, repairing a man’s heart after a near fatal car accident. Cristina is totally geeked out because she is repairing a very delicate part of the patient heart she calls “The Black Mamba.” She explains if they make one mistake, then the patient is dead. She’s Cristina Yang though, and she doesn’t make mistakes. Derek comes in to consult and can see from the x-rays that the patient’s spine has been crushed and is impossible to repair. He will be paralyzed from the neck down.

After surgery, Cristina notifies the patient’s wife of his injuries. The wife, Elise, asks if he can breathe on his own. Cristina says no. Elise requests that her husband Jason be woken up and asked if he wants to continue life on the ventilator. She knows her husband well, and does not think that he would not want to live this way. She wants to give Jason the right to decline his treatment, so Cristina agrees to let her know when Jason regains consciousness.

Cristina walks in to the attending’s lounge and overhears Meredith and Alex talking about his relationship with Jo. He’s worried that because she doesn’t want to get married now, she never will. Meredith doesn’t think that marriage necessarily matters. I mean, she and Derek were married by Post -It note for years, so why stress? Cristina listens in.

Jason is awake and lucid, yet unable to talk. Cristina asks him the same questions she asks us in the beginning of the episode. “Do you know who you are? Do you know what’s happened to you?” She explains what happened to him and what will happen if the breathing vent is removed. He will die, and he understands that. Elise tells him she loves him and will stand by his decision. He requests that the vent be removed.

“All it takes is one person, one patient, one moment to change your life forever. It can change your perspective, color your thinking,” Cristina says via voiceover. For Cristina, it’s Jason who changes everything.

After her experience with Jason, Cristina looks particularly beat up as she walks into the main hallway. She sees Owen by the elevator banks. As she goes to him, she passes Jackson who proceeds to accidentally smash his hand in some equipment. She runs up to Owen and confesses that he is the love of her life, and iit would be stupid to throw away all this love. She wants to be with him forever and he agrees. So begins our journey into Cristina’s parallel lives.

Flash to the nearish future:

Cristina and Owen have a new home together and have managed to christen each room with their love. Owen feels the house is too big for just the two of them, so it’s off to the pound to find the perfect pup. Owen’s all about the labs and big, goofy dogs, but Cristina nixes all his picks. She sets her eyes on a mean little mutt, and it’s love (or at least simpatico) at first site.

A few weeks or maybe months later, Cristina and Shane are in a heart conduit surgery. Owen pops in to tell her about his surgery and they argue about who will let the dog out. The dog’s name is Mrs. Rodriguez, for reasons that defy logic but make perfect sense to Cristina. Alex fears for the longevity of Mrs. Rodriguez’s life with these two as pet parents.

At the Mer/Der Mansion, we skip ahead a year or so. We know this because little Zola is not so little anymore. Still adorable however. Meredith teases Cristina about loving the dog, and Cristina balks. She and the dog get each other. Neither of them wants to talk about their feelings and it’s the perfect arrangement. Meredith calls Mrs. R Cristina’s dog baby and Cristina winces.

It’s been two years since that fateful day, and the board has called a meeting. Jackson’s hand never fully healed correctly and the board has voted to pull him off of surgeries and stick him with an administrative role. Jackson is furious and crushed. After he storms out, Owen decides to tell the board something big.

At the Crowen residence, we find out that his big news is that Teddy (remember Teddy?!) has offered Owen a job running a military medical unit in Germany. When Cristina expresses her disapproval of the move for the two of them, Owen comes back at her saying that his wishes never come first. His dreams have to die because hers always come first. Mrs. R barks at them while they fight, and Owen points out that the dog only likes Cristina. Another day, another dream extinguished.

A year or so later, Shane and Cristina are at the hospital. He tells her about how one of their patients, little Jasper is now thriving and playing ice hockey. Cristina runs into a very pregnant April, who refers to Cristina as her belly buddy. Yes, you guessed it. Cristina is preggers.

Not long after, Cristina is in labor with Owen and Meredith by her side. She calls out, mid push, that this was a mistake. Owen flashes Meredith a concerned look, but Meredith diffuses it saying all women say that. However, since Cristina is her person, Meredith knows that she actually means it. The baby is born and Owen is thrilled. Cristina turns to Meredith and whispers that she really screwed this up.

Back at home, the baby cries, waking Cristina and Owen. Cristina tells Owen to go back to bed. She sits on the edge of the bed, staring off into space, before picking up her screaming baby. She holds him, but not tenderly. She’s not connecting with this child. The baby continues crying into the next scene, where Cristina has taken him to the hospital for a bump on the head sustained at the playground. She’s frazzled and inconsolable about it, and when Shane pops his head in to say that Phase Three of the trial is ready to begin, she inexplicably hands him over control of it. This is not the Yang we know.

Flashing even further forward, it’s Bailey Jr’s 7th birthday party and the gang is all there. (Blink and you’ll miss Calzona and Sofia.) Cristina is there as well, sporting a new baby bump and an unfortunate bob. She confides in Meredith that she feels like she’s sleepwalking through life, but when Meredith tries to dig deeper, Cristiana just comments on how happy Owen is.

It’s now 13 years from the present, and it’s the night of the Harper Avery Awards. Cristina stands looking at herself in the mirror, holding her dress in her hands. Her hair has begun to gray. Meredith stops in to hurry her along and ask if she’s nervous. We next see Cristina giving a speech at the award ceremony. It’s not an acceptance speech though. She is introducing the actual winner, Dr. Shane Ross. He of course, thanks her for her mentoring. In the audience is the hockey playing miracle child; the patient that changed Shane’s life. After the ceremony, Meredith is looking for Cristina, who is sitting in a bathroom stall, crying her eyes out about the dreams she sacrificed for Owen.

Back to the present, and Cristina and Elise once again stand over Jason’s bedside. Cristina asks what his wishes are, and this time, he chooses to live. Instead of being devastated, Cristina is all smiles. (Avery once again injures his hand.) When she sees Owen this time, she tells him about he Black Mamba and how incredible she feels. She wants to celebrate with some sexy times and Owen is down. Time to slide again.

They head back to his trailer to bone, and afterwards Cristina wants to make sure they are on the same page. Owen says he’s totally cool, but we all know that that isn’t really going to last. Cue the next time hop. It’s a few months later and Owen is of course, wanting more than Cristina can give. She tells him she simply can’t give him more and suggests he get it elsewhere. He says fine, and walks out.

In bed with Meredith…don’t get excited, it’s a Twisted Sisters thing…Cristina laments that she and Owen are over. Meredith is drifting off to sleep because she’s heard this tune already a million times. She sleep mumbles in agreement.

A few months later, Jason and Elise meet with Derek and Callie. Their sensor research is still going strong and they ask Jason if he wants to participate. Jason is pretty beaten down and angry, so he says he doesn’t care. Elise is relived and hopeful though. When she sees Cristiana in the hallway, Elise thanks her for getting Jason into the study. Turns out, it was actually Owen’s doing.

Once again, history repeats itself for Crowen and while in bed, talk turns to children. Cristiana asks Owen not to give up things for her. Owen tells her that he isn’t giving up anything. Poor Owen, just because you tell your heart something a million times doesn’t make it true.

Some time later, we are back with Callie and Derek who are working with Jason. Jason is inside a special suit that looks not unlike Iron Man’s. Jason is controlling it, and it is actually letting him walk for the first time since the accident.

Unfortunately, he passes out and needs emergency surgery. Owen runs to find Cristina who is working now on Phase Three of her conduit research. Elise has asked that Cristina operate on Jason. Cristina is like, “Jason… doesn’t ring a bell.” He refreshes her memory, but she says no because she doesn’t want to walk away from her research. The time for patient hand-holding is over. It’s up to Owen to comfort Elise, who is exhausted and emotionally broken. Jason is angry and blames her for his suffering. She knows that after this setback he won’t want to continue with the study. Elise never expected her life would turn out this way, and what she always really wanted was children. A dream she sees disappearing everyday before her eyes. Elise and Owen lock eyes and for a moment they exchange something unspoken: a connection in their pain. She kisses him. He is shocked and pulls away.

Later that night (or a few nights later) at Joe’s, Owen sits drinking whiskey after whiskey, while the television plays Dr. Bailey’s freaking television program. In the future, Dr. Bailey is the new Dr. Oz. Hurray! Cristina arrives and tries to talk to Owen, but he’s distant and drunk. He tersely tells her that he needs more from her. She tries to get him home (he’s still living in the trailer, she’s still at Alex’s) but he refuses and orders himself another round.

Instead of spending the night with Owen, the Twisted Sisters are once again talking in bed. Meredith is exhausted because she and Derek have adopted a third child, but she still manages to be Cristina’s sounding board. This time, Cristina asks Meredith to help her. “Don’t let me go back to him,” she pleads. Cristina knows and has always known that what Owen is giving up, would end up haunting him.

A couple of years later…or a year…or who the hell knows…Owen and Jackson are having a screaming match at the nurse’s station. Jackson’s hand is still messed up and Owen orders him off the surgical floor. Bailey shows up just in time to tell Owen to chill the fuck out.

More time passes and Cristina and her unfortunate bob are at the hospital preparing for surgery. Stephanie pages her with an emergency. The emergency is a drunken Owen. They have pulled him off the floor and he’s asking for Cristina. When she arrives, he breaks down saying that he loves her and can’t handle seeing her everyday. He begs her to marry him. She cradles his head, but the look on her face tells her that Owen’s pleas well go unanswered.

When we next see Cristina, she is wearing a white gown. I know I’m not the only one who panicked at this. Meredith comes in to let Cristina know that there is “no sign of him yet” but not to worry. Is the “he” Owen? Owen is accounted for and running the ER that evening. A young patient comes in and he orders a test that requires iodine, but the mother informs him that she herself is allergic to iodine. He tells her that he will order a test to be safe. In an unsurprising but sad turn of events. Owen forgets to run the test and the young patient has an allergic reaction. Arizona, looking gorgeous and in control in her sci-fi-esque scrubs, steps in to help. She also meets with Derek to express her desire to have Owen removed from duty. Owen takes a breathalyzer while the board meets to decide his fate.

The “he” who Cristina was waiting for is actually Shane. He was stuck in traffic, but he’s by her side now. It’s not said, but one gets the impression that she and Shane are partners in more than medicine. Shane will be giving the speech to honor Cristina in receiving her fourth Harper Avery Award. He notes that it has been fifteen years since they began their journey.

At the same time, the board is meeting about Owen. They call in April who is crying about the fact that she has to speak against her mentor. She admits that she no longer trusts Owen as a doctor, and Arizona moves to terminate his employment.

Cristina stands in front of the podium, beaming and delivering her acceptance speech. She speaks about that one patient that can change everything for you. The audience gives her a standing ovation.

Back in the present, Cristina stands with Elise above Jason’s bed. This time, the real time, he asks to be removed from the breathing tube. Cristina walks away, dazed once again. This time though, when she sees Owen, she doesn’t go to him. She leans back against a door, and actually warns Jackson about his hand. He does not injure it after all. When Cristina feels pulled to Owen, she is stopped by Meredith, who wants to discuss doctory things. Cristina pauses, then heads off with Meredith, breaking the cycle once and for all.

She now knows what she must do. She can’t have a future with Owen.

A huge thank you to my screencapper Chen Drachman who you should totally follow on Twitter (@shokoshik) and Tumblr.

Here are some of our favorite #GreysGays tweets from this week’s episode.

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