Previously on Chicago Fire, Benny Severide took Vince Keeler ice fishing and Keeler actually died of boredom. Dawson found out Ichabod Crane was stalking her. Firehouse 51 found out that Jones is a pain in the ass but a pretty decent firefighter when she’s not yapping. Jones’ dad asked Boden and Casey to send Jones packing so he could tuck her up behind a desk where ladies belong. Herrmann got a vasectomy and Shay got her first taste of penis (thankfully in the form of a cake).
Poor Mouch can’t catch a break. Mari, his Japanese girlfriend, broke up with him so she could date a gameshow host. For some unknown reason, the guys look to Casey to offer a rousing speech. He tells Mouch that he’ll “rally.” Right, so Casey’s not exactly Ann Landers.
Shay and Severide stroll in and someone’s phone starts ringing. It’s Detective Hairporn calling for Severide. Shay asks why the hell wouldn’t he answer? Lindsay’s got swagger and that incredibly husky voice. Oh you noticed all of that Shay? Weird. It’s not like she’s lesbian catnip or anything. Anyway, Shay tells Severide to go for it but if he won’t she’d love to play a little Cagney and Lacey with Erin.
Did she mention me? Did she say I look pretty?
In the common room, Dawson is howling at Pouch. No, really. Jones walks by, grabs some coffee and asks if Dawson’s going to retake the firefighter test. Dawson says, “Yep, and then I’m going to take your spot.” Jones wishes her good luck. Dawson can’t believe that Jones is going to get screwed out her job but Casey reminds her that he’s terrified of the tiny little man behind the desk bellowing, “I am the great and powerful Oz!” Dawson is like, “Buddy, I took on a snake last season, you can handle Mr. McFeelely.”
Jones asks Mills where Clarke is, so it’s obviously common knowledge that Milke is a thing. He says Clarke is off scouting out wedding sites for their upcoming nuptials. Fine, Clarke is at a buddy’s wedding. Jones seems a little more interested in where Clarke is than Mills would like so he warns her off of dating within the house. Yeah, judging by the amount of action those showers get, dating in the house is clearly a no-no.
They get called out and while on the way Ramsey, the overly friendly stalker type dispatcher, asks Dawson what she’s wearing and if he can come over later. When they get to the fire a neighbor says that there are three kids and their parents in the upstairs apartment. When they get into the apartment Casey finds the father and under him is his wife and their three kids. The dad is burned badly but the rest of the family is moving. The dad isn’t moving when they bring him out and Shay and Dawson know he won’t make it but Casey runs over and yells “I saw this on House!” and starts doing chest compressions. The dad dies but saved his whole family.
Back at the firehouse, Severide would like a beer, Casey would like some scotch, and the rest of the guys are dealing with the call however works for them. Herrmann wants to play cards, Mouch is in mourning because there is an Asian lady on the television and he’s too broken-hearted to deal with it. Jones stalks off but tells Mills she’s fine. Casey has found the perfect apartment and shows it to Dawson. Cruz starts hen pecking Otis over when they are going to get their place together. Otis muses that it sure must be nice to have a two bedroom and Cruz is like, “You thought we were going to share a room?” Cruz, it’s sweet that you’re so old fashioned. Separate bedrooms is very Downton Abbey.
Mouch runs over and wants Shay to tell him everything she knows about women. He needs dating advice and who better to give it than the woman with the worst dating track record in the house? Although if Mouch wants to know stuff about the ladies, asking a lesbian is always the right answer. Shay isn’t in the chatting mood and says “you know, I think I left the iron on in the rig or there’s some of Pouch’s poop to pick up, or literally anything to keep me from having this conversation with you.”