Rewind is a weekly mini-recap following the Syfy broadcast of “Lost Girl.” Read the full episode recap here.
Oh, hey, it’s the one with Zoie Palmer in a swimsuit. Gird your loins appropriately, my friends.
There’s a pool monster with an appetite for legs and thighs on the loose so who ya gonna call? Not Bo, she’s busy playing bloody house with her destiny. This leaves Lauren, Dyson and Kenzi time to take a case to fill the time. Aw, the gang is almost all back together.
The show finds another reason to get Rainer shirtless and a flashback to explain why The Wanderer is so great. Spoiler: He isn’t. He’s like The Bachelor but on a Death Train instead of a tropical island and he is grumpy about not having found The One to give the final rose.
Much to every lesbian’s chagrin, the Syfy broadcast cuts Kenzi’s triumphant display of her shadow thief skills on Lauren’s panties. This means you don’t get to see Lauren’s pink lacey G-string. FOR SHAME, SYFY, FOR SHAME. But the caper is at least a fun distraction from all the full talk (and look) of Destiny.
Kenzi and Dyson go undercover at the victim’s company. What they find is legs, gams, stems–a bunch of them suspended in jars. There is also playful banter between dueling exes. And pearls in the filtration system. All I’ve ever found in pool filters is old bandages and drowned beetles. But wait, it’s not a pearl. It’s a crystalized salt deposit. Which sends Dyson into a panic. Because it is (cue dun-dun-dun noise) MERMAIDS!
Yes, you’re allowed to laugh.
So, turns out the company they’re investigating is run by a Merman. Oh, did I mention, Mermaids need human legs to be able to walk on land. They are all granted a magical pair for their fishy Rumspringa year. But some mermaids want to stay where the people are after the year is over. Hence the legnappery. The Merman swears the leg thief is his still fishy sister.
Guess who they decide to use as bait? I’d be appalled, but then we also get to see Zoie in a bathing suit so chum the waters all you want, folks.
They catch their fish, but she can’t stop talking about Lauren’s legs. I don’t blame her. She says she was betrayed by her Merman brother. Hey, did you know she also has a Mermaid sister? A Mermaid sister who is currently missing a good pair of legs? And do you know who has a perfectly good pair of legs? Kenzi. Bad fishy, bad bad. In fact, the siblings decide they all want to upgrade and will take the whole room’s human walking sticks as a parting gift.
I’d be worried, but we all know Dr. Lauren Lewis is a genius, so she dispatches our murderous Merpeople with a quick dousing of the garden hose. They can’t handle tap water. So now it’s all over but the clean up.
Back to the Love/Death Train, Bo and Rainer have bonded over her blue/brown eyes and a butterfly. Yeah, it’s just as random as it sounds. So they naturally sleep together. And then Bo sets up the breadcrumbs to bring her back to him–the singer, the crows, the contract with the Dark. It’s more than mildly disappointing that the entire mystery of the first season was about a dumb boy.
But it is. So that’s how we go here, folks. Do I understand the destiny stuff? Still no. But, hey, at least now we don’t have the Una Mens to worry about anymore. Bo and Rainer took care of them. But not their pesky Origin Seed. See, this is why their ship name is BoNer.
#FAEBIANS TWEETS OF THE WEEK:
BONUS BOOBS O’CLOCK OF THE WEEK:
You knew it would be Lauren, you just knew.
READ THE FULL LOST GIRL EPISODE 4.10 RECAP HERE.