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“Grey’s Anatomy” recap (10.13): Cat’s Outta the Bag

It feels like forever since Grey’s Anatomy went on hiatus. So good thing that the returning episode picks up, right where they left off. If you recall, April forced Meredith and Cristina to bury the hatchet, Arizona spilled with tears and fears about her future with Callie, Ross turned Alex’s dad’s heart into hamburger and Derek got a call from the President of the United States. (Maybe he wants Derek to be the new VP. Sorry, Scandal tie in.) Oh what else happened? Oh yeah, Jackson went all The Graduate on April’s wedding and professed his love in front of all their friends, families and respective love interests. Just another Saturday in Seattle.

The barn doors slide open to reveal April, happily running with a man in a suit. That man is not her betrothed, but rather Jackson, who is beaming. April too is all smiles until they get into Jackson’s car, where she promptly freaks the hell out. I love character continuity. Of course April would pick Jackson Avery, and of course she would flip her biscuit once the realization of her enormous decision set in. If April had a spin off, it would be called, That’s So Kepler. Jackson manages to calm her for a second, which is enough time to make out, and drive off like a heartbreaking Bonnie and Clyde.

Back at the Barn, dealing with the carnage are Meredith, Derek and Cristina. Meredith is slamming things about because Derek has just revealed he’s been called upon by POTUS to save the world’s brains, which means she will have to once again sacrifice her time and research. Cristina is so impressed with April’s chutzpah that she is the new acting president of the April Kepler Fan Club.

At the hospital, Alex finds out about Ross’s disastrous surgery on his father and demands that he be fired. Or murdered. Or both. Leah spills the beans about the fudging hours trick that an overtired Shane has been using. Later, Shane collapses outside, still covered in Jimmy’s blood.

Still donning her blush and bashful bridesmaid gown, Arizona is in tears as she tries to shove all of April’s wedding presents into the back of her car. Callie tries to calm and reassure her that she will fix it, but a dam has busted inside Arizona. She finally tells Callie that she doesn’t want to be fixed and she isn’t the same person she was before the crash. Callie stands there, trying to absorb this flood of honesty and emotion. Then Arizona releases the three words that we’ve all been dreading, but knew were coming. “This isn’t working.” Callie suggests they go home and talk this through, but their house no longer feels like a home to Arizona. Oh Calzona, how you manage to break my heart every damn time.

Also on a Truth Tour to BreakUpVille are Ben and Bailey. Bailey screams that she doesn’t want a marriage like her first one, full of impossible expectations and inevitable disappointment. She can’t believe Ben would walk away from surgery, something that her own heart is tied to. He finally admits that he didn’t leave because he didn’t love surgery. In fact, he was a freaking rock star at it. He left because he couldn’t stand being away from his family. Bailey lets that truth bomb sink in.

As April and Jackson drive away, April demands that he pull over in the middle of the woods. She asks if this was his plan along and gets out. Even April’s cold feet, have cold feet.

Flash forward to three weeks later.

Grey’s, you do love a good flash forward dontcha? Arizona stands outside a house with a realtor, who comments that she acts fast. Arizona says she needed a fresh start. Right then, just as our Calzona hearts were sinking like stones, Callie emerges from the house! She’s convinced a suspicious rust stain in the bathroom is actually blood. The McDreamy’s might have the MerDer Mansion, but now Calzona have The Murder House! Yes, it’s a new home, for both of them and Sofia! A new start. They kiss and it’s magical. Sweet, and hopeful and finally free from angst. (My invitation to their housewarming must have gotten lost in the mail.)

Back at the hospital, the second years are gossiping, like they do, but this time they have a new recruit. Ben is a resident now. Leah and Jo talk about how they can’t believe that Shane is back, and Ben tries to be the calm, mature voice of reason. For his insolence, Leah calls him Pops. Stephanie has finally decided to join the living as well, after her recent public humiliation a la Avery.

Alex’s dad Jimmy is still holding on, but barely, so Alex reaches out to his father’s ex and mother of his son, Naomi. When she arrives, Alex introduces Jo to her as his fiancĂ©, which is kind of news to Jo. Naomi is also surprised (and pissed) when Alex reveals that Jimmy isn’t dead like he told her on the phone. Instead of staying to let Jimmy make his amends and try to connect with his son, Naomi takes his guitar (which belonged to her father and Jimmy stole) and gets the hell out of there. Before she leaves, she compares Alex to his father, which cuts like a scalpel.

The POTW (Patient of the Week) is the victim of a car accident. He also happens to look like a cat. His altered visage was enough to distract a driver who plowed into him and a little girl on the sidewalk.

Derek’s hair is perfectly tousled, and his suit is finely pressed, because today the White House is vetting him. I hope Derek doesn’t watch House of Cards, because that shit is terrifying. The vetters (is that a word?) let him know that this will be a nice, easy, incredibly invasive process. So they start with his wife. The one he slept with when he was her superior. You can almost hear Derek gulp.

In happy news, Meredith and Cristina are talking again. It’s a little bit cautious, but they exchange words that aren’t antagonistic or laced with double meaning. So progress! In fact, Cristina offers to share a surgery with Meredith. Nothing says “we’ve made up” like an aortic aneurism. They later lesbian process even better than Calzona, when Meredith asks Cristina about Shane. Cristina admits to being furious with him. Like limb-tearing furious. Meredith confesses her frustration at Derek’s success. She’s killing him with kindness though, because the nicer she is, the guiltier he feels. Ah yes, a skill passed down from generations of our passive aggressive foremothers.

Shane is indeed back, and watching over him like a bearded, angry hawk, is Owen. He chides and belittles Shane while doing a simple intubation, and Shane’s nerves get the best of him. Richard, who is also there, suggests that Owen back off his attack a little, but Owen is resolute. If he had it his way, Shane would never step foot in his hospital again.

Jo is still taken aback by her new title of fiancĂ©, a position that she was neither offered nor accepted. She thinks. She talks it out with Leah, and then remembers her make out sesh with a distraught Alex against the barn. Maybe that’s when it happened. April pops her head into the room and things get awkward real quick.

Callie, who looks pleased as punch, and Stephanie, who is desperately trying to avoid Jackson, are attending to the Catman. The Catman tells the docs that he didn’t like who he was, so he changed it. He’s also worried about the little girl that was also involved in the accident. Callie is impressed with his “all in” attitude, because of course she is. It’s one of the things that’s so amazing about Calliope Torres. If you are going to love, go all in. If you are going to rage, go all in. Except for Murder House…she seems a little hesitant.

She runs into Arizona, who is super excited about the house. They are signing the papers that day, and even have a notary who will come to them. Yea! April joins them, and it’s a role reversal of the earlier part of the season for her and Arizona. Now it’s Arizona offering comfort to April, who feels like everyone is giving her “cheater eyes.” Arizona knows that feeling well. When April hears the great Calzona news, she re-gifts them an ice cream maker that she’s been stuck with and hasn’t been able to return since the un-wedding. A house is not a home without a large, mostly useless appliance that makes frosty goodness. Bailey, who feels out of the loop, goes to Callie for all the gossip, but Stephanie interrupts them with words that strike fear into every lesbian’s heart. “The Cat got out.” Catman is missing.

Jackson and Leah are performing a surgery together, because Leah is a bro who took one so Stephanie didn’t have to. While she’s in close quarters with Jackson, she takes the opportunity to read him the riot act in front of the entire operating room. He explains that he’s been trying to apologize to Stephanie, and he had no idea he was going to do what he did. Leah, a true honey badger, doesn’t care. She asks what the point was. They are all alone now anyway. Jackson, April, and Stephanie. The carnage served no purpose.

The Catman isn’t missing after all. He went to find the injured little girl and check in on her. He stands above her bed, apologizing, when she stirs. When their eyes meet, she beings to scream. He begins to scream. Arizona runs in, sees him and begins to scream. If you thought Arizona’s happy face was adorable, her screaming face is almost as grand.

Jo decides to confront Alex about the whole engagement deal, which could only end one way. Badly. Of course Alex gets defensive and angry, because those are his default emotions. She tells him that she’s not ready to get married and perhaps all of this is just Alex’s grief rising to the surface. Alex is like, “fuck all” so Jo uses her Lara Croftiness to break a vending machine. I’ve never been more impressed with her.

Things are going swimmingly at Derek’s vetting, until they bring up Michael Betcher. Apparently Derek sends his mother $3500 a month, and they want to know why. So do I! Also, how much bank is Derek bringing home a month that $3500 isn’t even a noticeable amount to Meredith. Can I move to the MerDer Mansion? I have some student loans that Derek can tackle.

Alex checks in on Jimmy, who is fading fast and really suffering. Alex lies and says that Naomi and Nicky are on their way. When Jimmy notices that the guitar is missing, he panics. Alex lies again and tells him that he put it in storage. Jimmy makes him promise to get it, and give it back to Naomi. He stole it, and needs return it. Oh Jimmy.

The Catman feels really awful about scaring half the hospital. He also feels kind of shitty about his life in general. The walk he took today that started this chain reaction of badness, was the first time he’d left his house in over a year. Being a cat person is apparently quite isolating. Now he just wants to go home.

Owen, Shane, Ben and Richard are all in surgery together. Shane is asked to step in and do a procedure, but Owen continues on his quest to destroy whatever is left of his confidence. Owen grills him over rudimentary med school training, and Shane’s nerves get the best of him. Owen orders Shane to leave the OR.

Stephanie finally gathers the nerve to be in the same room as Jackson. He fumbles and tries to apologize, but she doesn’t want that. What she wants is for him to fix the Catman pro bono. Be useful, she tells him. Damn. Four for you Stephanie.

Shane, who has apparently not suffered enough abuse at Owen’s hand, seeks out Alex to apologize. Alex warns him to stay away, but when Shane pushes, Alex pushes back. Literally. He knocks Shane to the ground and punches him repeatedly in the face. Shane just takes it, until Cristina and Meredith manage to break it up. As Cristina rushes Shane away, Meredith holds Alex, until he finally holds her back.

Cristina tends to Shane’s lacerations, and listens as he unloads. He thought that by coming back, maybe he could make up for all the damage he caused. Shane has been punishing himself since Brooks’s death, so he is no stranger to emotional self-flagellation. Cristina agrees that he deserves what he got, but also shines some mercy on him. She shows him pictures of a thriving baby Nathan, who Shane’s innovation and determination helped save. We all make bad choices and good ones, she tells him. “Make more good ones” is her sage advice. Cristina doesn’t mess around with ornamental language or needless stories. She tells the simply truth, even when it hurts.

The time has come to seal the deal on the The Calzona Murder House, and Arizona is tickled pink. She’s so ready to sign, but Callie raises her concern. She comes with the house. What if that isn’t what Arizona wants? Three weeks ago, Arizona thought they were through. What if this is merely a Band-Aid for a sucking chest wound? Arizona looks at Callie with more love in her eyes then we’ve seen in a long time. For her, this house represents all the new things about herself and her relationship with Callie. There is no sickness and despair etched into the tiles, or permeating the sheets. There is no loss and daily reminder of who Arizona used to be. This house is who they are now. A couple that has faced everything, and come out of the darkness holding hands. This is where they can grow their family and start again. Arizona can’t make any promises that this will all work out, but none one can. All she knows is that her face is ouchy from smiling and dreaming about the thought of a beautiful life. Callie smiles. I smile. EVERYONE SMILES! They kiss again and the clouds lift and rainbows shoot out of every angle. Halleluiah.

Stephanie finally breaks down in the stairwell with Leah, after confronting Jackson. Her heart just hurts so much, and seeing him and April around the hospital is just too painful. Leah understands that pain all too well, and something shifts in her. Stephanie wants to leave, but Leah tells her that isn’t the way to rise above this. Leah reminds Stephanie that Jackson is her boss, and this is something of an epidemic at the hospital: bosses sleeping with their students. They’ve both been screwed with and tossed aside. Leah tells her maybe it’s time to do something about it. Oh shit.

Richard confronts Owen about his treatment of Shane. Owen hems and haws but Richard cuts him to the quick. He thinks Owen is reacting this way because Shane was sleeping with Cristina. Before Owen can even growl out a response, he’s interrupted. The HR department wants to speak with him. I didn’t even think this hospital had an HR department.

Jimmy is struggling to breathe and Alex knows he is close to death. He tells his father that Naomi and Nicky’s plane was delayed, but they are coming, and know that Jimmy loves them. Jimmy can’t hold on much longer, so Alex tells him to go ahead and let go. Jimmy does, and slips away. For all of Alex’s gruffness, all the anger he carries around like a precious diamond, he extends the ultimate kindness to a man who brutalized and abandoned him. Alex is nothing like his father. He’s 10 times the man his father was.

Bailey is feeling left out, and tries to get the gossip from Ben. He refuses, saying that he’s the odd man out and needs his fellow residents to trust him. Bailey pouts and gets all motherly with Ben. She really needs to cut that out. Also, stop with the bagged lunches. Let the man have a hamburger!

Derek finds Meredith to tell her about the vetting and more importantly, about Betcher. Derek shares an intimate part of his backstory. When he was young, and playing hockey (probably with a glorious mullet) he crosschecked Betcher, and caused a serious brain injury. It’s what inspired him to be a brain surgeon. He tells her that he’s been paying for his care ever since. Meredith takes this bombshell pretty well, mostly because she’s still really stuck on the Presidential thing. She wants him to admit that he wants it, which he does. When his phone rings she answers. It’s not the White House though; it’s an emergency board meeting.

The board gathers and Owen comes in all stern faced, which is what his resting face looks like, but that’s beside the point. One of the residents has filed a complaint against an attending for all sorts of misconduct. All the attendings start to freak (except Callie) thinking it was their respective resident. Owen has had just about enough of everyone’s personal lives affecting their work. “Here, here” said all the patients in unison. From now on, there is a zero tolerance policy instated. No more banging residents. Sloan Grey might as well just sink into the ground, right now.

For someone who may have just had a complaint filed against them, Jackson is pretty calm, and cooking dinner at home. He calls out to someone, and April wraps her arms around him. There are secretly together after all! On her finger, we notice a wedding band. We flash back to that fateful night three weeks ago, when April left her own wedding. She’s crying in the woods in her wedding dress. Watch out for bears April! She questions what the hell all this was for, and Jackson says he wants to whole big package with her. He asks her to marry him, and they ride off to Lake Tahoe to make it official.

Here are some of our favorite #GreysGays tweets.

I would not be opposed to a spinoff where Leah is like Mary Tyler Moore except that actually she just sleeps with married women. #greysgays

– dufrau (@dufrau) February 28, 2014

Could these interns be anymore annoying? Shonda you know what you need to do, what you do best.. #GreysAnatomy #GreysGays – xo (@Queen_EvilRegal) February 28, 2014

Hey Shane, when Alex tells you to walk away, it’s a good idea to listen to him. #greysgays #GreysAnatomy – Catherine (@CMeushaw) February 28, 2014

I’m actually surprised it’s taken this long for a sexual harassment storyline on this show. #GreysAnatomy #greysgays

– Tabatha (@DanceUponMyToes) February 28, 2014

HAHA! If they actually pursue this, very single doctor should be fired. Literally, all of them. #GreysAnatomy #greysgays

– Emmalee (@Shipper648) February 28, 2014

Doesn’t it seem like bad luck to get married in a dress you picked out to marry someone else? #GreysGays – Amy Allen (@Amy_Allen1976) February 28, 2014

Grey’s, you brought it tonight. I approve. But I swear to god. If Leah filed that complaint agst Arizona, I will BURN IT DOWN. #greysgays – Marieill Hill (@marieillhill) February 28, 2014

When will they learn to not smash their expensive surgeon hands into glass? #GreysGays

– Chen Drachman (@shokoshik) February 28, 2014

Arizona forget the cards you’re getting a sweet ice cream machine. #GreysGays

– Lady Liberty (@CindyLMarshall) February 28, 2014

Ok, not technically a #GreysGays tweet but still…
Ok wait. The lady doctors are together and buying a house?

– I. Marlene King (@imarleneking) February 28, 2014

What did you think of this week’s Grey’s Anatomy?

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