“Lost Girl” Rewind Mini-Cap (4.04): Turn To Stone

Rewind is a weekly mini-recap following the Syfy broadcast of “Lost Girl.” Read the full episode recap here.

Right, so this is the one where Bo and Dyson do it a lot. We’re going to skip over her smelling like sweaty gym dude because it’s my mini-cap and I can have selective memory if I want to.

Instead, let’s enjoy the nerdiness of teenage/two-week-old Tamsin. Kenzi is acting all cool mom with her, teaching her the important things like how to twerk in your living room and marathon X-Files when nobody is looking.

While Bo and Kenzi go off to have some adult time, in Bo’s case very adult, at the Dal, Teen Tan experiences some unusual growing pains. If only all of our growth spurts ended up with us looking like Rachel Skarsten.

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Oh, also their house has been totally looted. Who could have done it? (Massimo, the answer is always Massimo.)

Sung to B.B. King’s “The Thrill is Gone”: The wig is gone. The wig is gone away The wig is gone baby The wig is gone away You know you done me wrong baby And the wig will be sorry someday.

Good news, the wig is gone. Bad news, Lauren is imprisoned in some dank basement utility room with Crystal.

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A creepy voice comes over the intercom talking to Lauren/Karen and for a moment we all panic that Dr. Hotpants is going to have to saw off her own foot to escape. She is being watched, but instead her captors want her to analyze from Fae blood. I can see the LIfetime movie now. Dr. Lauren Lewis: Kidnapped for Science.

Crystal, who isn’t doing so hot, apologizes to Lauren for spybanging her–except they cut the “spybanged” part of Syfy because they hate continuity. Lauren can only smile because, hello, karma. But instead of being angry she tells Crystal about how she accidentally killed 11 people while blowing up a pipeline. Her and her brother were eco warriors, with emphasis on the “warrior” part on his part.

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So the ladies go visit Massimo the Druid, who has heisted their possessions in payment for Kenzi’s Sparkle Cream. He sends them to Lauren’s apartment for some rare herb. While there, Bo does some major processing about their relationship. She never really knew her. Who the hell is Karen Beattie anyway?

But as they go to leave they realize they’re trapped by an invisible Fae-repellant barrier. Never trust a Druid. I mean, just look at the man’s shirts. Tacky. After dousing Kenz to get rid of the last of her Sparkle Motion, Bo stays behind and find a gift Lauren had hidden. Its card to Bo reads: “For giving me the freedom to love. And I do. Forever.”

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Doccubus heart melting gets interrupted by some creepy gargoyle who takes a bite out of Bo. Once Kenzi returns, she confesses to owing Massimo big-time for her sparkler hands. She also confesses her insecurity at being a human in a Fae world. And kissing Dyson. Oh, please, like a wolf would come between these besties.

Instead, a Valkyrie unites them – sorta. They learn Tamsin has been kidnapped my Massimo and the whole herb mission was a ruse to kidnap her. So much kidnapping this season. So Bo storms off to make Valkubus hearts flutter as well. Equal opportunity fandom baiting, thy name is Lost Girl.

Back in another kidnapping plot, Lauren has easily diagnosed the vial of Fae blood given to her (gross Fae incest cannibalism, if you must know) and easily slipped the bonds of her chains. She demands her captor, who she seems pretty sure is Hale, release Crystal because she is having an allergic reaction to her chains. Um, honey, you just picked the lock. Can’t you also…oh, never mind.

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Her captor opens the door and it’s not Hale after all. Confession: I totally guessed wrong initially on who was behind Door No. 1. See if you do better than me.

Right, and we finish up with Kidnap Plot B. Massimo wants Tamsin’s hair. But Tam-Tam is in no mood for an amateur hairstylist’s bullshit. So she Valkyries out on him. But Bo stops her from killing him with a little love touch.

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Massimo scrambled to get a lock of Tamsin’s hair that has fallen out, and Bo sucks the truth out of him. He’s a sad little human with mommy issues. She decides not to waste her time on him and his bad shirts anymore, and throws the hair into a lava pit he happens to have in his lair. I find them an essential part of any home décor. Then, Massimo jumps into the molten mess to retrieve the hair. So, that’s the last of him, right? Right.

Bo goes to confront the Una Mens afterward. She wants a showdown but they’re like, girl, we cool. Your blood has chosen a side. You’re Dark – because look at your wardrobe. How could you not be?

TWEETS OF THE WEEK:

BONUS BOOBS O’CLOCK OF THE WEEK:

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READ THE FULL LOST GIRL 4.04 RECAP HERE.

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