“The Real World: Ex-plosion” recap (29.4): The exes move in

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This week we learn that Thomas and Jamie still have not had sex. As we already know, Thomas doesn’t drop trou unless he is in love, and Jamie has a more situational reason: There are cameras everywhere.

Arielle and Ashley are at the hot tub processing their breakup. Lesbians processing. Big surprise. Ashley tells Arielle that she started seeing someone else after Arielle broke up with her. While Arielle tries to be the better person, she becomes visibly upset. Arielle tells us she wants to get back together with Ashley eventually but she doesn’t know if now is too soon.

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Over in Thomas’ room, Thomas tells Jamie and Jay he doesn’t want to burn bridges, so that is why he is friends with his ex. Jamie says it makes her feel uncomfortable, and Jay says to Thomas and Jamie this is something they will need to work out.

Jay tells us that he and his ex Jenna are going to try to get back together. He cheated on her, but he will try to show her that he cares for her this time around.

Arielle is planning a surprise for the roommates. She tells Jamie that this “may or may not be the last meal you will ever have.” Spooky! She takes the roommates to a venue, where ladies in bustiers and masks serve everyone and then touch each other – and then touch the roommates.

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It turns out that the roommates have been taken to an “erotic dinner.” Arielle says that she hopes this experience spark more action between Jamie and Thomas and between Cory and Jenny. Jay gets a back massage, and he thinks the masseuse is a lady, but everyone laughs because it is a guy. Jay has no idea and purrs with delight.

Back at the house, the roommates are full of sexual energy. Arielle and Ashley immediately get it on. Thomas suggests to Jamie that they can try to have sex “very carefully,” but Jamie is committed to her promise that she will not have sex on camera. Then they get under the blankets, we we don’t know what happens. Cory and Jenny get it on in the shower again. Jay looks at the camera and flexes his bicep.

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The next day Cory and Jenny tell the roommates that they have decided on a “friends with benefits” situation. The roommates think that it sounds good in theory, but it could turn messy. Meanwhile, Cory’s ex Lauren keeps calling, and Jenny thinks she is psycho.

The roommates go to a club, where Jay runs around getting phone numbers he never intends to call. “So what’s the point of getting phone numbers?” asks a producer. Jay looks confused and then answers, “I don’t know.” But then he still continues to get phone numbers. The next day Jay’s ex Jenna has seen Instagrams of some girl twerking on him and she is not happy.

Jenny’s ex Brian calls and she immediately asks him if he is still talking to the girl he was seeing, and he answers no. Then he asks her whether she has slept with Cory, and she says yes. He says that he feels betrayed. But, dude. You can’t have your cake and eat it too.

Then it’s back to the club, where Jay continues to take numbers, except this time, he kisses a girl. Ruh roh! Cory tells Jay that there are cameras all around, but Jay seems to think he can sneak things by when the camera guys are not looking. But Jay, they are always looking.

The roommates decide to play a prank on Cory. Cory think the scariest film in the world is The Grudge. The roommates throw fake blood on Jamie, and Jamie pulls her hair over her face and walks into Cory’s room while he is sleeping.

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Cory jumps up and runs through the house shrieking like a little girl.

Jenny is at the computer terminal and sees an email she was not supposed to see. Either Thomas wrote an email to his ex telling her he couldn’t stop thinking about her, and other things full of feels, or it was his ex writing him. Jenny rats on him to Jamie, who confronts him. Thomas says that it was his ex who wrote the email, but Jamie is upset that he did not tell her about the email.

Then the roommates get a call telling them that they are taking a vacation. It will be a two-day trip on a houseboat on Shasta Lake, and there will be jetskis. After the roommates cheer, pack and peace out, Ashley returns to get her stuff.

The roommates arrive at the lake, and the boat has a hot tub on the roof. Of course. Arielle and Jamie guess that there will be a new roommate to replace Ashley once they get back. Oh, they have no idea. No idea. As the roommates are lounging in the sun on the pimp boat, the producers are adding new beds to house all of their exes.

Then the exes start arriving. Lauren, Cory’s ex arrives first, and she is under the impression that she is alone and the one chosen to replace Ashley. Then Brian, Jenny’s ex, moves in. They both realize that they are Cory and Jenny’s exes and have a laugh over it. Then Hailey, Thomas’ ex, moves in. By this time, the exes realize that the producers are moving in all the exes of the current cast members. They think it is hilarious.

Then Jay’s ex Jenna moves in. Then Ashley, Arielle’s, ex moves in.

On the way back to the house, the original roommates are happy that everyone is getting along. Arielle tells us that from here on out “it’s gonna be smooth sailing.”

294-img5 Smooth sailing (like the Titanic)

The original roommates arrive at the house, and they are greeted by their exes.

294-img6Hey dee ho!

Jenny stands there, mouth agape, as the screen fades to black.

Well, things are about to get vewy vewy intewesting…

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