Kimmie had sex! And that makes the theme song lyrics, “Don’t stop me now, I never want to stop at all” much more poignant. Helen-Alice and Marika are bringing Kimmie and James breakfast pastries to celebrate their relations. Marika is wearing a sports bra that wicks away moisture, and Helen-Alice has had to sleep on the couch so all kinds of newness (see: Kimmie and James sexing) is happening in the
Marika wants to make plans to watch Fried Green Tomatoes (of course she does) but Kimmie has a date with James. And right then James comes over and interrupts their roomie puzzledate and tries to give Helen-Alice advice on texting her crush. It is clear Kimmie’s friends do not appreciate them stealing away their friend. They also don’t appreciate hearing all the sex or keeping quiet when he’s sleeping in the next room. They finally confront Kimmie and let James know he can GTFO. Kimmie is wearing a unicorn shirt and decides if James is leaving, she is, too.
James knows Kimmie is sad without her friends. “I hope they remember what happened to Destiny’s Child after Beyonce left. They died,” Kimmie said. Nope, she is definitely not upset.
Kendall lost a big client so she’s in a terrible mood and does not appreciate Kimmie’s rubbing her sexytimes in her face. At home, she’s lonely and tries to befriend the maid, Elsa. To make matters worse, the water is off at her apartment so her hair is bad. It’s basically Kendall’s worst nightmare. She’s gotten so low that she goes to Kimmie’s and decides to stick around and hang with Marika and Helen-Alice, where they are making beef-a-roni and guac.
James is having a football-viewing party and his friend Richard, aka Kimmie’s boss and crush is there, too. Kimmie ends up making a mess and has to clean up after everyone leaves. They start talking about Kimmie’s friends and James ends up insulting them. He doesn’t like Marika’s alarm-setting or Helen-Alice’s cereal set-up. She schools him: “They’re my friends, James. I’m allowed to make fun of them, like how black people are allowed to make fun of LL Cool J.”
Richard is back at James’s place, meanwhile, and James pontificates all the reasons someone would be in love with Kimmie. AWKWARD! But I love that two dudes are talking about loving such a rad woman played by Rebel Wilson.
Kendall puts on a hoodie and oversized sweatpants because she’s spilled those things all herself. Kimmie comes home and asks what she’s doing there. “Giving up,” Kendall says. She’s eating peanut butter from the container with a spatula—Kimmie’s spatula. Kimmie joins in game night but is in a noticeably terrible mood. Her friends call her out, and she tells them the fight she had with James was their fault because it was all about them. “James called us crazy?” Helen-Alice says. Marika says James is the crazy one and Kendall is the serious crazy one in the kitchen, eating everything and being a slob while still hanging out with people she supposedly hates.
“We’ve been through everything together, from prom night to the cancellation of Make it or Break it,” Kimmie says. Group hug. Her supportive pals tell her to go to James and do nasty things with him. But James is right outside her door, apologizing. MAKE OUT TIMES. He tries to leave but Marika invites him inside.
“Listen, uh, we’ve been talking and we want you to know that we think you’re alright,” Marika says, arms crossed. She’s tha boss. Kimmie kicks Kendall out and I felt bad about it until she said, “OMG I’m being kicked out of Kimmie Bouvier’s place. I’ve never been this low before.” KENDALL, GTFO. She calls them horrible freaks and leaves by saying, “I was never here, and if any of you say I was, I’ll sue you.” Way to be a horrible person forever, Kendall. This is why you have no friends and Kimmie has a man and at least two friends. BYE BITCH.
Every week this show tries to make you care about Kendall and then reminds you she’s a terrible person. She has no redeeming qualities and I’m over her one-dimensionality. As for Kimmie, I’m happy she has found a good guy but it’s clear Richard is not going to be completely out of the picture.
Next week, though, Marika’s sexuality is finally brought up!