“Lost Girl” recap (4.10): I want to be where the people are

Well, once again Lost Girl flaunts its total mastery of fandom by making all of its disparate ships unite for one common cause. Doccubus and Dybo and Valkubus and the rest all stand together, in unison and total agreement. At last, there is harmony. At last, there is peace. We all hate Rainer.

Bo looks at herself in the mirror as the disbelieving echoes of her friends and loved ones ring in her ears. He is dangerous. He has brainwashed her. He is an out-of-work extra from Game of Thrones. Then we notice blood–blood all over Bo’s face. Hold up. Wait a minute. Did Bo just kill everyone she loves? Rainer walks up behind her and says it had to be done. This is clearly a bait-and-switch, but damn if it doesn’t help solidify our already simmering hatred of Rainer into a full boil.

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But, seriously, who is this dude? Why does Bo think he is her “destiny?” Why would she turn her back on her friends for him? And for a guy who has been “wandering” between dimensions for centuries, he certainly seems to have gotten in plenty of time to get in bicep curls. More like He Who Wanders To The Gym, if you ask me.

Team Formerly Unaligned Succubus are asking themselves the same questions. Also, whew, they’re not dead. Dyson is trying to be all Hulk Smash about the situation and wants to bust into her place and get her back. But Lauren understands the none-too subtle signs of not being wanted. Like, for instance, Bo locked them out of her house.

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Kenz arrives with coffees bigger than her head and tells Team Dumpedubus to buck up because they have a case. A woman went for a dip in the company pool and came out minus two legs. I know chlorine can be corrosive, but this is ridiculous. Lauren and Dyson are both united in WTF, because this is no time to be looking to pick up freelance work. Bo is their only case. But Kenzi perseveres and then the victim rolls in and it’s hard to say no to a person minus half their appendages.

Back at the Suck Shack, Bo is questioning herself. And rightfully so, young lady. Who is this guy? Why would she go back to the train for him? Why would she go Dark for him? Why would she lock her friends out for him? Dark? She says she needs time now that she’s back to process what they’ve done, because she’s still a gay lady and that’s what we do. Rainer tells her to take all the time she needs, he’ll just be over here not wearing a shirt.

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So while Bo processes we flashback to her first arrival on The Wanderer’s Death Train. She is considerably less friendly than she is now. Like pull a knife and let’s get to fighting less friendly. But Mr. Tight T-Shirt remains unimpressed. Can we stop and talk about how unimposing Rainer/The Wanderer is? Granted, this could all be a cover for some big winged Pegasus fury monster, but he’s like some guy you’d find at Cross Fit in Brooklyn. Really, everyone was scared of this guy?

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He Who Wanders To The Gym blows Bo off. We get the feeling many–many, many, many–women and particularly brunettes have landed on his train only to be courted and found out to be not The One. So this whole Death Train business is really more like a Love Train. He has been dating his way through eternity? Wait, so this whole thing is just like an old-timey Tinder app?

Back in the real world, Team Dumpedubus has taken the poor, recently legless woman’s case. She tells them she’s Fae, a pixie orphan, who was raised by humans. They decide to go undercover at her company to sniff out the culprit. Dyson has been training Kenz as a Shadow Thief so should they need to steal anyone’s panties, they’re all set. Also, I would not have pegged Lauren as a lacy purple G-string gal. Thanks for putting that image into my head, writers. No, seriously, thank you.

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At the office, Dyson is the mail guy and Kenzi a lady in a red suit because of a “mix-up” in the HR department. Lauren is back at Dyson’s place cleaning out flesh-eating bacteria from all the solid surfaces and running intel. The building has some kind of body-heat activated security system which is weird and also like something designed specifically for a deodorant commercial.

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