Last week on Generation Cryo, Bree met some sassy older sisters in Boston who agreed to help her on her journey, at the exact moment that Bree’s journey begins to feel more and more real. Sisters Paige and Molly and Georgia half-sib Jonah agree to accompany Bree to Oakland, California, where they believe they can find more solid information on the donor. They are armed with a relatively slim list of 23 names, one of whom is most likely Donor #1069.
After all four siblings meet up at their San Fran hotel, the ladies catch Jonah up to speed and they once again establish all of their boundaries. Which is always good. Lotta feelings, lotta boundaries on this here show. They then head to San Francisco State University, where they know he went to school. Emotions are high as Paige parks, in a this-might-actually-happen, holy-shit, where’s-the-Tylenol kind of way. Bree also rocks some particularly lesbian looks in this episode. Here, the classic “Shirt you wore to Pearl Jam concerts in 1995” pullover.
They stop at the university’s registrar first for help, where a lady is like, “NOPE,” until Molly and Bree pull out the, “Help us find our daddy” card. Suddenly, the waiting time for information goes from a week to thirty minutes. I am sure the cameras in her face also had nothing to do with this sudden turnaround.
While they wait, they walk to the library, where they meet a librarian who exemplifies all that is amazing about librarians. I love you, Meredith. There is a good chance you are also a lesbian. Meredith gives them yearbooks to go through, which the siblings tediously check the 23 names against, although it turns out they’re missing the years they actually need. Just when Bree is feeling like every road is resulting in a dead end, Meredith hobbles over with another resource, a book full of graduation records. At first this seems like an even more tedious task, but soon Paige sucks in her breath. “I think I found him.”Always trust librarians, kids. They are masters of information.
Same school, same major, same hometown, same everything that they have on their donor information sheets. It’s the one. He’s no longer Donor #1069; he’s (BLEEP). The siblings’ reactions range from shock to feeling the need to puke, which might all be the same thing. Almost immediately, some of the half-sibs feel regret, like maybe they didn’t actually need to know that name. And interestingly, for the very first time, Bree starts to feel some doubt, too. The donor actually having a name makes him concrete, real, and possibly living and walking around mere miles from where all of the half-siblings are currently sitting.
In a sign of true family ties, their first thought, collectively, is of the other half-siblings. They have to at least let them know that they’ve found out this crucial piece of information, even if they’re not all interested in knowing it. They agree that they’ll wait on it for a bit, though, to make sure that the other half-sibs aren’t alone when they hear the news. The registrar then confirms their discovery.
As they walk back to the car in a daze, they discuss the weird gray areas of the donor’s privacy that they may or may not be violating. Paige says that it’s not like she feels BAD for him, necessarily, but they all agree he’d probably be freaked the eff out if he knew it had all gotten to this point. Molly asks if Bree feels good about all they learned that day. And surprisingly, Bree replies, “No.”As she stares blankly forward in the car, Bree says, “I feel like I forgot how to feel. Does that make sense?” Jonah answers, “It totally makes sense. You’re so used to blocking it out.” To decompress, they take in some touristy San Francisco sights. And in a bit of comic relief, a seagull plucks Molly’s churro straight out of her hands. They laugh for the first time all day. Then they ride the carousel, and commiserate about their stress sweat, and as my wife commented as we watched this scene together, this show feels important if just for the fact that it helps remind the rest of us that teenagers are real people, in all the good and imperfect ways we all are.
The next morning, the haze of this new information continues to settle over the four siblings, and it feels heavy. Jonah and Bree chat in her room while she holds her teddy bear, which kills me, and Paige and Molly talk about their vacillating shades of guilt next door, as they try to take in accepting this person who has contributed to their biology, while still thinking of their real dad in Massachusetts. Paige wraps up the contradiction: “The curiosity is so natural, but sometimes, you can’t help but feel like you’re betraying your own family.”
They then head to City Hall, where they can obtain birth certificates and death certificates and other such things, but first Bree has to sign a form declaring that she has a right to these documents. Meaning, she has to call herself, officially, a child of this person. She decides to be completely honest, and lists his relation to her as “sperm donor.” This throws the city employee at first, but once she becomes hip to the situation, she grants their request and is super kind, and in fact appears rather amused about what this unsuspecting dude has coming. They get a copy of the birth certificate, which gives them the address of where he grew up. The also confirm that he’s not dead. And from all this information they now have, they also find his current address.
Last step: Bree is going to write one important letter, and this is something she has to do herself.
As she struggles to figure out what to say, the half-sibs have one more idea they want to check out: going to the local public library to scour through old local high school yearbooks to see if they can locate a picture. On top of all the emotions that have already been packed into this episode so far, we have also visited two beautiful libraries. This episode is just too much.
Somewhat surprisingly, the half-sibs help Bree look through the yearbooks in the history room, which Paige likens to “the Forbidden Section in Harry Potter,” even though they run the risk of finding his picture first, an idea they’ve all been leery of. It seems curiosity is winning out for everybody. And sure enough, Paige and Jonah soon discover him. Immediately, they all crack smiles over how much he looks like the rest of the males in the family.
It’s interesting that the reaction to the picture is so different from the reaction to the name. This reaction seems positive right away, like all the siblings suddenly are able to take a big breath of air. It’s like the name alone simply added to all the information they already had but without surmounting to a real person. So it almost seemed like too much, too much information without any release. But when they saw a picture of him at the same age they are now, looking like a handsome nerd, looking just like a part of the family, they were like, oh, okay. And suddenly, it wasn’t so scary anymore.
The only one who seems a little creeped out is Jonah, even though he says he’s cool. But he seems disturbed as Paige and Bree snap photos of the yearbook page with their phones, warning them to not show it to Hilit. Molly tells Jonah that she doesn’t know if it’ll help, but he can tell Hilit that “a little hate dissipates when you see it.”
Bree says, again, how glad she is that they’re all there. And as they lean back in their chairs, somehow relieved, having accomplished what they came for and feeling maybe a little weird but surprisingly not traumatized, Paige says this: “Thank God for our real families, man.”
Now that she has a face in her head and not just a bunch of random facts, Bree’s letter to the donor suddenly flows out, as she explains who she is, the journey she’s been on, and the expectations that she has–mainly, that she doesn’t have a lot of expectations. And then for some reason, since they have his address and it’s nearby, Bree thinks it’s a good idea to deliver the letter in person, handing it in at the office of his apartment complex. All the other half-sibs back away from this idea, probably because they all realize that it’s a really bad one. But Paige soon relents, saying she’ll drive Bree if she needs her to. Molly almost goes, too, but backs out at the last minute.
When they arrive at the apartment complex, suddenly, Bree freaks out. She feels like she’s being creepy, and then feels embarrassed about being creepy, and asks Paige to drive away. They drop the letter in a normal, non-creepy mailbox. Much better idea, Bree. She’s still shaking and crying, but it doesn’t feel as awful as sitting in front of his apartment did. Bree and Paige then hug a lot, like the good sisters they are.
Next week, we’re going to have a family reunion with the rest of the half-sibs, where Bree and the others will share their news with everyone. It’ll be interesting to see how the rest of them react. At this point, I’m not sure whether I myself want to see Bree meet the donor at the end of all this or not. In terms of the story arc of the show, seeing Bree and all her half-siblings supporting and loving each other is enough for me.
What were your feelings on this momentous episode? Do you feel Bree is going too far, or are you proud of how far she’s come?
