It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of representation, it was the age of impossible cancer storylines, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of throwing stuff at the television, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had Visibility before us, we had played tropes before us, we were all going direct to Heaven — because that’s what lesbians do, OK? They die.
Yes, 2013 offered up a lot of lesbian/bi storylines worth celebrating, but sufferin’ Sappho, the deaths we dealt with this year. Below are nine of the absolute worst.
9. Kissing Lesbian Couple, Teen Wolf
Teen Wolf is to gay men what Pretty Little Liars is to lesbian women: a homoerotic romp of unprecedented proportions. But unlike PLL, Teen Wolf‘s main gay, Danny Pectorals, gets serious sexual action. Last season, Standards and Practices even had to tell the show to tone down the thrusting. I mention that because the two lesbian ladies we met at a campsite got more on-screen sexytimes in the five minutes we knew them than most other lesbian couples get over the course of ten seasons on other shows. So losing them to the Darach (don’t ask) was a real bummer.
8. Fearless Defenders
Fearless Defenders really messed with our heads this year. An all-female superhero team: Yay! Introducing a lesbian team member: Yay! Killing her off almost immediately: Boooo! Bringing her back from the dead: Yay! Adding another lesbian character of color as a love interest/brand new superhero: Yay! But then Marvel went ahead and murdered the entire series. The last issue hits stands this month. Booooo!
7. Pam and Tara’s Hormones, True Blood
Remember when Pam and Tara finally smooched each other all hot and bothered at the end of True Blood‘s fifth season and we were like, “Whooo boy, what will happen next with those two?!” Well, nothing happened. Nothing at all. We thought they wouldn’t be able to keep their hands off each other, but the only thing they couldn’t stop doing was talking about Eric every hour of every day for time immemorial, while every straight couple in Bon Temps crawled all over each other, on-screen, like a pack of hyenas in heat. RIP Pam and Tara scissoring dreams.
6. Bullet, The Killing
Adding an androgynous lesbian character (played by Bex Taylor-Klaus) to their line-up was an awesome move for The Killing. Letting us fall in love with her and then stuffing her in a trunk was not.